Finding Nemo

Finding Nemo

“Don’t come back here, Sandy. Ever”

Emmanuel scolded her as he fumbled with the key in the dark, trying to open the apartment’s gate to no avail. The watchman heard his struggle from outside and offered to help by using his own key, but even then, the door was resistant. Sandy found herself wishing the lock would jam completely, then they would be forced to go back to Emmanuel’s house and spend the night there. They stood in silence, waiting, as it was awfully quiet in the complex. The only noise was the occasional cough by the watchman who had already lit a cigarette to make his battle with the gate more bearable. Realizing that they would be there for longer than he would have hoped, Emmanuel continued talking but without directly addressing her, keeping his voice hushed so that the watchman or any awake neighbors could not hear him.

“Isn’t it common decency that you can’t just show up at someone’s place? Do you want me to write on a billboard that I do not want you anymore? Move on already”

Although Sandy could not make out his face in the dim light, she could almost taste his anger, just as much as she could taste his lips just by thinking about it. She remembered their first kiss, which, coincidentally, happened in the same corridor a few months ago. Emmanuel had pretended to reach for an awry plait of her braided hair, then suddenly leaned in for a kiss, and she did not resist.

“Lakini saa hii na ni saa tano, mnaenda wapi?”

The watchman pressed in Kiswahili, jolting Sandy from her brief reverie. He was asking them where they were headed that late at night, clearly irked that the couple had interrupted his nap and the jammed lock was taking more of his precious time. His question pointed out the time, and Sandy realized that it had been over five hours since she left Nairobi at 6pm. As the man struggled fruitlessly with the door, it occurred to her that her wish for it to jam forever (which was gradually becoming a reality) was fueled by fear that she would not get a matatu[1] from Thika that late. At 11pm (the time the watchman had given though Sandy could not verify it since her phone was off) she knew the Super Metro buses would have already called it a night. Further, even if she got lucky enough to get on the last bus, she would have to maneuver the highly insecure capital city at around midnight, arguably the most unsafe time of the night.

“Please, Manu…” She whispered, her fear finally finding a voice.

Sandy could not complete the sentence because she could not settle on a single thing to beg for. Was it his love and attention, the opportunity to spend one last night in the comfort of his arms, or that he does not send her into the cold, unsafe night at 11pm? The latter was her fault though, and she could not help but marvel at the crazy ex-girlfriend she had become, completely unable to move on like he had so kindly requested. He had actually chased her away as soon as she had knocked on his door at 6:43pm, she knew it for a fact because that was the last time she checked her phone when it had only 2% of battery left. However, instead of leaving, Sandy hang around in the apartment complex as she could not get herself to get past the gate and lose her chance of seeing him again. Fortunately, she had found an unlocked and unoccupied apartment, empty like her own heart, and decided to set camp there until morning. Unfortunately, the apartment was also the watchman’s safe haven for evening naps before his night shift began. When he found her there and threatened to call the cops, Sandy was forced to cite Emmanuel as the tenant she had come to visit, and he was of course not very happy about that. It was then that he had decided to chase her away from the complex itself, understandably angry that he had to pause his coding class to get rid of her.

The gate finally opened to the two men’s relief and Sandy’s disappointment. Emmanuel motioned for her leave, and before she mustered the strength to walk through the gate, she whispered a brief prayer. Outside, a wave of uncertainty and fear suddenly hit her, as well as the prickling July cold, and her light hoodie barely insulated her against it. She wanted to turn back and beg Emmanuel one last time, hoping that her pleas would not fall on deaf ears like they had countless times before. However, before she could make a fool of herself in front of the watchman who was also just as angry at her antics, a black BMW turned the corner and stopped just at the gate. Emmanuel was about to close the gate behind him when the car approached, and since he could not resist basking at its beauty, found himself standing next to Sandy, watching the car in awe waiting to see who was driving it.

To everyone’s surprise, a gorgeous woman walked out. It was like in the movies, where you first see the high-heeled foot, and then her full frame stepped out the driver’s door. The two men were visibly shocked because they did not recognize her but were also impressed at hers and her car’s beauty. As for Sandy, something about the woman seemed familiar to her, like she had seen her somewhere, in a movie perhaps, or maybe in her dreams. The woman started walking towards the gate, eyes fixated on Sandy with a smile plastered on her face, and when she leaned to hug her, Sandy was as shocked as Emmanuel and the watchman. Nonetheless, she immediately warmed up to the embrace since she was in dire need of a hug at the moment.

“I heard your prayer. I’m here for you”

The woman whispered amid the hug, and as Sandy registered the divine fragrance of Sauvage Dior, her signature perfume, she realized that the woman was, in fact, herself from the future. The realization was surreal because even when she made the silent prayer for a miracle, she could not have imagined it would materialize as her future self; beautiful and rich, coming to save her. Meanwhile, Emmanuel was spellbound by the car, a BMW X5, the model he was saving up to buy hopefully in less than a year. The watchman joined him in circling the car, whistling at its beauty just like he did when female tenants walked past. Sandy finally peeled herself from the embrace to stare at her own face, only that it was not on a mirror like she was used to, but rather on another human being. This sacred moment was interrupted by Emmanuel, who was dying to ask about the car’s mileage and original cost. Seeing that the two knew each other, he softened towards Sandy, clearly hoping she would introduce him to the stranger.

“I did not know you had a sister,” he said, smiling at her for the first time in weeks and acknowledging the facial similarities between the two.

Before Sandy could think of something to say, her future self quickly stepped in, saving her in what would be the first of many.

“She didn’t tell you? Wow, Sandy. My name is Nemo.” She beamed, stretching out her arm for a handshake.

As the two made acquaintance, Sandy smiled at Nemo’s choice of name, a play on their second name, Wairimu. Although her mother used to call her that in her childhood, Sandy had never understood how one got Nemo from Wairimu, but since it was a household name for Kikuyus, and almost all of them shortened it like that, she had learned to accept it without questioning much. When she hit twelve and her boobs began to sprout, her father prohibited her mother from using the name, claiming it babied Sandy and denied her the opportunity to embrace her womanhood like the tribe’s founder she was named after. Of the nine daughters of Gikuyu and Mumbi[2], the Kikuyu tribe mythical ancestors, Sandy’s father believed Wairimu was the strongest, as the name itself meant “daughter of a giant.” Fearing the violence that would follow if she went against her husband’s wishes, Sandy’s mother resorted to using the full name, but occasionally, when he was not around, she would call her Nemo.

It had been five years since Sandy heard anyone use the name, as the last time was as she watched her mother breathe her last, so Nemo’s introduction unconsciously brought her to tears. Emmanuel clearly wanted to chat with her and was visibly struck by her beauty, but Nemo paid him no attention after the handshake. Noticing Sandy’s tears, she reached for another hug before leading her to the passenger seat and closing the door. Sandy watched from the tinted window as Emmanuel tried to persuade Nemo to indulge him in car banter, but she politely waved goodbye. The men lustfully watched as she walked back to the driver’s seat, and she intentionally revved the tires against a puddle of water as she drove off, leaving them drenched.

“Are you real?” asked Sandy, unable to take her eyes off her doppelgänger.

As the two sped through the Nairobi-Thika Superhighway, which was deserted at that time of the night, she marveled at her future self’s beauty. Nemo was everything that Sandy was not, her body exquisitely shaped, unlike the former’s bag of bones, a term she had learned from her father. Her face was barely illuminated by the streetlights, but Sandy could see how smooth it was, unlike her own, which was full of pimples and dark spots.

“I am as real as you want me to be”

They both laughed at the sorry attempt at mystery and poetry, acknowledging the telepathy between them. Although Sandy could not read her future self’s mind, she could feel her emotions, and so did Nemo.

“Stop thinking too much. Get some sleep, I am taking you home”

Sandy obeyed this request, reasoning that her future self certainly knew what was best for her. Before long, they arrived at the University of Nairobi hostels, which, unlike privately-owned ones, allowed tenants entry at whatever time of the night. Nemo parked a few blocks away to avoid waking the guards as they tended to harass students arriving in fancy cars to finesse them of their sugar daddies’ wealth. Sandy felt on autopilot mode as Nemo walked her to her room, quietly leading her to the bed to avoid waking her three roommates. She carefully tucked her in, kissing her on the forehead, then turned to leave. Unfortunately, before Sandy could beg her not to, Nemo disappeared just as mysteriously as she had appeared.

Sandy woke up with a jolt, waving awkwardly in the air as she tried to slap a mosquito that was heavily crushing on her ear, intent on never leaving its vicinity. After several unsuccessful attempts, she became aware of the indurated discomfort, painfully discovering that she was not in the warmth of her bed where Nemo left her. It was a dream after all, just like she had suspected, and she was actually camped out behind Emmanuel’s apartments waiting for dawn so she could travel back to the hostels. She had chosen a rather comfortable spot, hidden well by the thick grass, which gave her a vantage view of her ex’s bedroom window on the highest floor of the complex. The lights were off, meaning it was already past 3am, his usual bedtime. Realizing the five sleeping pills she had swallowed after being chased away were not enough, Sandy swallowed five more, clearing her stash and whispering another silent prayer that she would not wake up this time. 

[1] Colloquial Kenyan term for a minibus or bus used as a public service vehicle

[2] Gikuyu and Mumbi are the Kikuyu version of Adam and Eve, who are believed to have had nine daughters and no sons.