Dear: Past Self

Dear past self,

This is your future self writing to you about what you have to look forward to in the years ahead. It’s been a wild ride so far, hasn’t it? It gets wilder, but don’t be daunted. Here’s what I want you to know. I know you might be confused right now, feeling like the world is flying around you, but trust me- you are going to figure it all out. I want to tell you to have more faith in yourself and to spend less time worrying and more time being proud of how far you have already come. You are probably curious about where your educational journey is going to take you once you graduate college in a couple years. Although I don’t want to ruin the surprise, I can tell you that you are going to end up exactly where you are supposed to be. Following through & graduating from college will turn out to be one of the best decisions you have ever made, so don’t ever think it’s a waste of your time- because it isn’t. Never stop learning or educating yourself. You’re going to need this knowledge & experience in the future. It won’t always be easy, but it will absolutely be worth it in the end. After you overcome the struggles of adjustment, you will realize there is nowhere else you would rather be. Don’t forget to build your dreams, or someone else will hire you to help them build theirs. You have some amazing people in your life & they are positive people to keep around you.

Along with these people, you will also run into a few people that do nothing but bring you down. When you begin to realize that someone is not adding anything positive to your life, cut them out. This might be hard at first but will prevent a lot of problems in the future. Be brave enough to end something that needs to end. Stand up for yourself and protect your heart the best way you can. Lastly, I want you to believe in yourself. You have a habit of doubting your own abilities and letting little things get you down. You are smart, ambitious, and kind; don’t forget that. You have so many passions and the ability to do everything you've ever dreamed to do. It may be hard to see that at times, especially when things just don’t seem to be going your way, but I want you to try your best to stay positive. You’ve got this!

These are the 10 lessons I want you to remember as you make your way through life.

1)       Don’t Be So Hard on Yourself

You are literally doing the best you can with what you have, which has never been much. You’re not perfect because you’re an actual human person, made of flesh, blood, bone, strengths, and weaknesses. You are constantly learning new things and adapting, which will serve you well throughout your life. Give yourself a break every now and then- because you deserve it.

2) Stop Making Excuses for People Who Hurt You

The only thing an excuse is good for is making yourself feel better for a short time, but if you keep making them, nothing ever changes. Don’t lie to yourself about why people hurt you. Those who hurt you, especially consistently, are not worthy of the time and energy you put into explaining away their inexcusable behavior. People who are not toxic do not abuse others, no matter what kind of day, week, month, year, or life they might be having. Eliminate negative, toxic people from your life as soon as you’re aware of them and seek out healthier alternatives.

3) You Are Not Who They Say You Are

I know it's tempting to listen to other people's opinions of you, especially if they're your parent or other people that you've been taught to look up to, but don't believe what they say about you. They don't understand you, and they probably never will. Never listen to anyone who claims to know you better than you know yourself, even if it’s your own parent or another authority figure. No one knows your own mind better than you do and this will never change.

4)      You Are Whomever You Decide to Become

You have control over who you become. Where you came from and what you’ve experienced does not define you, but what you learn from it and how you use those lessons to evolve into the person you’ve always wanted to become does. You are a mix of everything that has ever happened to you — the good and the bad. You can be whoever you decide to be. You decide every day with each individual choice you make, so try not to let yourself down.

5) You Are the Only One You Can Count On

Sadly, you are truly the only person you can rely on, but I think you’ve always known this deep down. No one else is looking out for you, so if you want what’s best for yourself, you’d better figure out what that is and make it happen. Don’t worry, though. Someday you’ll meet someone else who has only your best interests at heart, doesn’t want to hurt you, and, wants to help you lighten your load. It hasn’t happened yet, but rest assured one day you will.

6) Trust Yourself

I know it’s incredibly difficult to trust yourself when you’ve literally been brainwashed not to since you were born, but you’ll save yourself so much trouble if you just follow your instincts. Don’t believe that anyone else knows what’s best for you, and never take advice from someone who won’t be affected by the consequences of it. Never let anyone who hasn’t been in your shoes tell you how to tie the laces.

7) Be Brave

 You can’t go through life too afraid to live it. Nothing ever changes until you leave your comfort zone, so learn to embrace the discomfort. It’s terrifying to try to change your life, particularly when you’ve been told you can’t, but they were wrong. You are the only one who can, in fact. Never doubt that for a second. Use your fear as a tool of transformation moving forward.

8) Be Present

This one is tough. As much as possible, try not to live in the past or for the future. The past is merely a place to visit and learn lessons from, but you can’t live there. Learn from the past to improve the present and build a future you can be proud of. Live in the present with the people you love while you can because tomorrow is a luxury not everyone has.

9) Believe in Yourself

You don’t need anyone else to believe in you, which is good because there’s been a lack of that in your life so far, hasn’t there? It’s not because there’s anything wrong with you. There is something wrong with the people you’ve been surrounded by thus far. They are abusive, manipulative, and cruel. They don’t want to see anyone else succeed, so they try to sabotage others whenever possible. However, not everyone is like that. You’re not like that, and you’re not alone. If you’ll allow yourself to admit it, you’ll know that you have the ability to do pretty much whatever you put your mind to, but other people don’t want you to believe it, because they are jealous and spiteful. Don’t listen to them. Figure out what you want and go get it.

 10) Love Yourself-

This is another hard one, huh? It’s so difficult to love yourself especially when you’ve been told you’re unlovable by the people who are supposed to love you the most. You are just as worthy of love as anyone else is. You are working hard to become the person you want to be, and that is something to love. You are constantly looking for ways to help others, and that’s a lovable trait. You deserve to be treated with kindness, respect, and love, so be open to it, especially when it’s coming from yourself.

All that has happened, and will happen, to you will continue to shape who you are for the rest of your life. Without each of these experiences, you would not be you. They were and are necessary for you to learn and grow. They have taught you more than anyone can possibly imagine. You have learned to be stronger than you ever thought possible, stronger than you even know right now. Remember, I love you and I believe in you. It may not always seem like it, but it’s true. I will never give up on you. That’s how we’ve made it this far, and it’s how we’ll get where we have always wanted to go.