What I Remember in the Dark

The first thing I remember is light. It blinded me as hands wrapped around me, raising me up towards the heavens. As I rose my eyes adjusted and soon I could see. A young girl beamed down at me and hugged me to her chest. That was the first time I smiled.

The second thing I remember is the adults, two of them looking down at the girl and I, twin smiles on their faces. She talked to me, showed me whole new worlds... not that I had really seen any worlds just yet. Finally she gave me a name. That was the first time I knew myself.

The third thing I remember is the adults taking her away. She reluctantly placed me on the floor and took one of the adult's hands and walked off through a doorway. It was cold and quite without the girl there to talk to me and hold me tight. I was alone. I knew I had been alone before the light, I must have been, though I couldn't remember how it felt or what it was like. This was the first time I was sad.

The fourth thing I remember is the girl coming back. Joy bloomed once more in my chest as she came running to me. She lifted me into her arms and talked again. She stood up when I was in her arms. I could finally look around properly at the wrapping paper scattered around a small plastic tree. She took me into a pink and white room. Thin curtains framed a window that looked out onto a street enveloped by night. The girl placed me on a tabled beside a lamp and then wriggled into bed. This was the first time I was comfortable.

The fifth thing I remember is the girl crying. I started awake at the sound of her sobs. She was curled up under a quilt blanket and peeked at the wardrobe. I moved off the table and to her side. Noticing me on the pillow she wrapped her arms around me in a desperate hug. I watched the wardrobe so she didn't have to and I stayed awake so she could sleep. This was the first time I knew what my purpose was.

Days past, then weeks, then months and years. I watched her grow and every night I lay with her to guard her from the things in the wardrobe. Every day she talked to me and took me on adventures in far away places. As she grew the adventures got more exciting and detailed. Filling the room with forgotten kingdoms and dying planets. I was the star of each adventure, I was the one who saved the day each time and I was the only one she wanted to talk to. But then others came-

The sixth thing I remember is the first of the others. The adults came one day with a box. It was wrapped in bright paper and the girl smiled when she saw them. She left me on the bed and left the room. I lay there until she finally came back just as the sky was darkening outside of the window. She introduced me to a patchwork rabbit. It looked at me with small dark eyes filled with disgust and contempt aimed at me. I tried to tell her not to trust the rabbit but she didn't listen, she laughed at me. This is the first time I was mad at the girl.

The seventh thing I remember is the new adventures. The girl included the rabbit in my adventures now. It was fun because the rabbit was always the villain and as the hero I always beat the rabbit. Then the rabbit became my sidekick. That I did not like at all. But my horror was short lived as it soon turned petrifying as the rabbit. Became. The. Hero. The rabbit took my role and I was cast aside as a sidekick and then a villain. I didn't even get the my right of guarding her from the thing in the closest, the rabbit also guarded her with me. She even gave the rabbit a name, 'floppy' what a stupid name, at least I still had the best name in the group. This was the first time I felt unwanted.

More and more others came, I was pushed further and further to the back of the line. I lost the position of villain and became a mere bystander. All the while the rabbit rose all the way to king. The. Rabbit. Became. King. Of. The. Room. While. I. Was. Dragged. Behind. The others invaded the position of guardian and one day I fell from the bed. I fell and was left there for days on end as the life I used to lead continued just above and around me. This was the second time I felt unwanted.

The eighth thing I remember is when she came back from school. She was crying as she slammed the door and slid to the ground in a sobbing heap. From the floor I moved to her, placing my dusty head against her knee. After a while she picked me up, dusting me off she hugged me to her chest. She told me her troubles and hugged me until the adults came for her. She left, but she took me with her. At the table she held me tight as she ate and I protected her from the things in the closet and the things in her head as she slept that night. This was the first time in months I knew my purpose.

The ninth thing I remember is her going to high school. In the morning she hugged me goodbye and I wished her luck. At the end of the day she was different. She glared about the room. Storming over to the wall she grabbed a bright pink cartoon poster and scrunched it up into a rough ball before throwing it at the door. That was the first thing to go. This was the first time I was scared.

She torn down everything she used to love and she got the room repainted to white and the bed replaced. The others disappeared and under the gaze of the rabbit I was taken away to the wardrobe. She chucked me into the corner and closed the door, blocking out all the light. So I remember these things as I sit in darkness. In my mind I replay each memory as dust slowly gathers over me. I sit in the dark in the wardrobe like the things I used to guard the girl from and I know my time in the light will never come back, each time I remember that time they seem to get darker just like the shadows around me.