Trouble in Wonderland

Another sleepless night in Beverly Hills, California. Don stared up vertically, his eyes fixed on a pigmented water stain on the ceiling that had been there for the last few years. The thick, cream curtains in his bedroom were split apart to reveal the ascending sun. Warmth from the sun radiated all throughout Don’s body, which momentarily distracted him from the question that he had asked himself all night: Why me? Out of the window, Don watched a couple of black-chinned hummingbirds hover in mid-air, flapping their wings in rapid succession. The grace and levity in which the hummingbirds maneuvered generated a smile on Don’s enervated face.

Don loved the mornings, they freed him from the dark, and the dreadful realizations that often resided in it. If he ever became a vampire – shrouded forever in darkness for necessity- he would probably kill himself. His mind wandered back to reality, and away from fictional creatures such as vampires. He twisted his head to the left, where he saw his wife. A delicate buzz flew from out of her mouth, as her body rose and fell with every inhalation and exhalation. Her chestnut hair shimmered in the glow of the sun. His eyes drifted to the alarm clock on the nightstand, adjacent to his wife. The green digital numbers blinking 8:01 A.M. They must have turned off the alarm for the weekend, and forgot to turn it back on. Don placed his hands on his wife’s back and gently pressed it a few times.

 Don’s wife sprung awake like a Jack-in-the-box. Her dilated, hazel eyes found Don staring at her, and they shifted to the time on the alarm clock. “Why didn’t you wake me up,” she

exclaimed, as she hopped out of bed and rushed into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. Don could hear the stream of water slap the floor as the shower started. The sound of the urine hitting the water in the toilet reached Don’s eardrums next. His wife always urinated, and then showered in the morning, and always in that sequential way.

Don lifted his legs over the edge of the bed and expanded his jaw to divulge a long yawn. Sleep had evaded him last night, as usual. Sleep was the smooth criminal in the night escaping from the cop. The quick, fleeting fly dodging the fly swatter. The father leaving his wife and kids one somber night. Don glanced back at the alarm clock, now flashing 8:15 A.M.

“Sarah, you’re going to be late, it’s 8:15!” The water stream that Don had heard ceased, and the bathroom door swung open. She rushed out, with a beige towel wrapped around her waist. Water droplets descended down from her hair, and onto the cobalt carpet. She quickly threw on some slacks, a nice black dress shirt, a pair of flats, and her white coat. She was a Physician Assistant and had been for the better part of a decade. In fact, Don had met Sarah when they were both enrolled in the PA program at Duke University.

The white coat that Sarah thrust over her body made Don flashback to how he had met her. He remembered the burning feeling on his leg, when he had bumped into Sarah, and spilled his steaming caramel and vanilla latte all down his pants. That was the first time they met. He was instantly mesmerized by her illuminating smile and her wide eyes that seemed to dance with happiness. That was over a decade ago, and time had changed the way he felt about her. His passion to be around her had dimmed, and he felt that this was a mutual feeling between them. His love and desire for her started to dissipate two years ago, in the very room that they occupied at this exact moment.

Don could feel Sarah’s eyes piercing into him from across the room. Her face fixed into a frown. “It would have been nice if you made some coffee while I was in the shower. I guess that’s too much to ask of you.” Don chuckled to himself inside his head. She’s never short of complaints.

“I think your time would be better spent getting to work, instead of hurling complaints.” Sarah rolled her eyes, and cleared her throat. She picked up her diamond stud earrings, and exited the room without saying a word. Don could hear the ding of the Elevator as it arrived to transport Sarah to the first floor. That was the routine morning in the life of the Halberts.

A few uneventful hours later, Don was behind the wheel of his brand new, crimson Maserati GranTurismo convertible. Another day, another car. Don had worked tirelessly for the last decade to earn what he had now, and he loved showing off the manifestations of his hard work. Cars were one of those many manifestations. Halfway through PA school, he had come to the stark realization that a $90,000 salary wouldn’t be enough to fulfill his desires. A week after that epiphany, Don dropped out of PA school, wrote a fiction novel, found an agent, and published his first novel. Unbeknownst to Don, that novel would be the first of many in a series that would go on to sell over 50 million copies, and become made into a series of movies. Ever since then, Don had been living in a wonderland. His life was centered around calculations and currency.

Thirty minutes passed, with Don cruising down the highway at 85mph; the wind whisking across his face. When Don finally turned off his car and exited his vehicle, he was standing in front of the massive hunk of a structure known as The Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. As Don began to walk towards the medical center, he felt a slight vibration in the left pocket of his graphite, Givenchy denim jeans. He extracted his phone from his pants, and pressed his left thumb against the home button of his hefty iPhone 7 Plus. This granted him access, and he maneuvered to his text messages. He had received a new message from Sarah. What are you doing here?

Frantically, Don slung his head left to right, his eyes darting in every direction, searching for Sarah. His palms started to sweat, and his mind started racing. So many thoughts inundated his head. I can’t let her see me here. Where the hell is she!? Maybe I should just text her back. Yeah, that’s what I’m going to do. Just as Don readied his fingers to respond to his wife’s message, he saw a License plate that read ILUVDON. The license plate was attached to a Persian blue, Porsche Cayenne. Don had bought this car for Sarah a little less than a month ago, in his campaign to revitalize their marriage. That campaign lasted for a little under a week, and Don chalked it up as a complete and utter failure.

As Don closed in on his wife’s car, she appeared in his line of sight, leaning against the outside of the driver’s side door. Don’s stomach churned. Her eyes were squinted at Don, and her neck was tilted slightly to the left. She lifted herself off the car with her arms crossed and walked to meet Don near the trunk. “I’m glad I forgot my phone in my car, or I wouldn’t have seen you. What are you doing here, Don?” Don could feel his palms getting clammier by the second. He didn’t know what to say. The truth was out of the question, and he needed a few more seconds to create a conceivable lie. He stood there for about 5 full seconds, with Sarah just staring at him with a growing impatience.

“I’m here for a physical exam. You know, the annual routine checkup.” Don chuckled a little bit, attempting to sound as authentic as possible. “Shouldn’t you be in there, examining

people, and delivering bad news,” joked Don, aiming to appear as normal as a bird flying in the sky.

“Don’t play games with me. I know why you’re here, and it’s not for a routine checkup.” Don’s stomach dropped, his lie didn’t work. “Is it for your problem?” she whispered, while leaning in closer to Don. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were coming for your problem?

“Can you stop calling it that!?” Don’s face had become red. “You know I hate when you refer to it in that manner.” Sarah stared down at the ground in silence. “I’m going to be late for my appointment, bye.” Don turned around and began walking towards the hospital with haste.

“Wait,” Sarah exclaimed, “you dropped your wallet.” She bent down to pick up Don’s black, Saint Laurent wallet, that had Don’s initials monogrammed on to it: D.H. Don turned around and snatched the wallet from her hand, and started back towards the hospital. “Don, I love you.” He continued walking towards the hospital, without showing any speck of acknowledgement of her.

Don rushed through the hospital doors, glancing down at his grey, stainless steel, Rolex watch. The big hand was on the 12, and the little hand was on the 9. His appointment was at 12:30. Don found an empty chair in the waiting room and quickly plopped down, wondering if it was too late to salvage his appointment. A couple minutes later, a woman opened the door that led to the hallway of hospital rooms, and proclaimed, “Last call for Don Halbert. Last call for Don Halbert.” Don immediately leapt out of his chair, and followed the lady to an empty room. There he was asked the usual questions a nurse asks, and then left awaiting for the doctor.

A few minutes drifted by, and Don’s doctor finally walked in. She was an older lady, with salt and pepper hair that traveled down her spine, to the middle of her back. “How are you,

Don?” Before Don could reply, she continued talking. “Well since you’re here, I take it you can’t be doing too well,” she joked.

Don put on a smile, attempting to enjoy her humor. “I’m having the same problem as last time, but worse. I haven’t been able to get it to work in over 3 months.” Don could feel his face getting red, and he wondered what he looked like to his doctor.

“Well Don, we can run some tests and see what could be the problem,” his doctor explained with a somber tone in her voice. “Erectile Dysfunction is a very common issue with many men. There can be a number of causes: Diabetes, Kidney Disease, blood vessel disease, nerve and brain disorders, perhaps you injured yourself, hormone probl-” Don’s stomach felt like it had just dropped onto the ground. His ears begin to clog themselves, and block out the remainder of the doctor’s words. He hated himself right now, and he could feel tears wanting to escape his eyes, like a prisoner wanting to escape prison. After the doctor had run the tests, she came back in, with a prescription in her hand. “Well Don, I’ll get back to you as soon as possible with the results of your tests. In the meantime, I wrote you a prescription for Cialis. I hope this will help some. I’ll schedule a follow-up appointment next week, same time.” The doctor put on her best comforting face, and then sent Don on his way.

Don picked up the Cialis and instead of starting back home, he went the opposite direction. There were so many thoughts circulating in Don’s head. Tears had started to fall and drench his shirt from the moment he got into his car to leave the hospital. His emotions were overwhelming him, and he felt alienated from the rest of the world. He felt like he was outside of his body looking at himself. His eyes were bloodshot from the amount of crying that he just did. As he pulled into his garage, he begun to try to fix himself up. The sun had descended, darkness

had fallen over the Earth again, or at least California. Don’s gas light was flashing. He had been driving for hours, but he was finally home.

Don got into the elevator that brought him up to the floor where the master bedroom was. As he started walking to his room, he heard a rustle, and a bustle. The sound of zippers going up and down, and dresser drawers being slammed piled down the hallway towards Don. He cautiously entered his bedroom, to see three black suitcases on the bed, all filled with clothes. Sarah sat on the edge of the bed. Her nose was running, and her eyes were bloodshot. She had been crying. “What’s wrong!?” Don exclaimed as he rushed to her side, and grasped her arm.

“Get off of me!” Sarah yelled, pushing Don down towards the ground. She got up and stood in front of the window. She started pacing back in forth. “I’m leaving, and there’s nothing that you can do or say that will change my mind.” Don got off of the floor, and attempted to walk towards her. “Stay over there, Don. I mean it!” Don stopped walking. His hands had sweat dripping off of them, and his face was red as a fire extinguisher. “This has been a sinking ship for a while now, and I’m deciding to hop in the water, and find a life raft.”

“Sarah, don’t say this,” Don pleaded, almost in a whisper. He rushed over to her, and tried to hold her. Sarah pushed him away from her. “I’m sorry, but I’m working on my problem. I’m doing the best I can.” Sarah sighed, and stood there for a few seconds, her eyes fixated on the ground.

“Don, I don’t want you anymore. You’re not even a man anymore. I deserve a man. I deserve someone who can make me scream at night. I deserve someone who can do more than just buy me things. I deserve A MAN!"

Don couldn’t believe what he was hearing. His emotions started to boil, and his mind went blank. He reached for the lamp that was on the dresser, and bolted towards Sarah. Before she had a chance to act, Don had made contact with her head. She fell to the ground, blood oozing out from her skull. Her eyes were motionless, and her body laid lifeless. Don sat down on the ground, his mind wasn’t blank anymore. He shuddered at the realization of what he did. Don let out a wild shriek in horror, and backed into the far right corner of the room, balled up into a fetal position. He sat there, his eyes wide with shock, as his wife’s blood tricked across the floor, inching closer and closer to him. The only thing Don could think was FUCK.