One Special Lady

One Special Lady

My world was turned upside down on December 25, 2010. That's the day my mother-in-law Bernice Johnson passed away. She had been diagnosed with lung cancer years earlier and given five years. The good Lord blessed her to live ten more years. The last time I saw her she was lying in bed with oxygen cannula in her nose. I sat beside her on her bed. She was covered up with a blanket all the way up to her neck and the only thing that was exposed was her feet. She had just gotten out of the hospital and wearing slip proof yellow socks.

“Hello,” I said. “How are you feeling?”

“My old body is shutting down on me baby,” said Bernice. “I'm sorry I wasn't able to get Christmas for the boys.”

“It's okay mama,” I said.

It's just like her to think about everyone else but herself. That's what made her such a special kind of lady. I began stroking her feet. I wanted to see if she would move them because she couldn't stand anyone touching her feet. Instead she just let me rub them. I was never that close to my own family. I learned more from my mother-in-law about life than I did with my own mom. My husband Alvin and I got married a year after I graduated high school. Life was so bad at home with my family. It's a terrible thing when the women in our family are envious of you so much that they want to ruin your life because they never could make anything out of their lives. My mother in law was the one who taught me to cook and taught me how to drive. We lived with my mother in law our first couple of years of marriage. There were a few bumps in the road with her and me when we lived together. My husband and I moved out when I became pregnant with our first son. Bernice was always there for appointments, grocery shopping, and someone who I could talk to about anything. Alvin worked more in the summer months than the winter. A couple of times during the winter season, we were not able to pay our rent. Bernice never hesitated and helped us paid our rent those months so we were not kicked out in the cold. After Alvin Jr. was born she was the one who bought him his first crib. Even though we told her we would get one, she surprised us one Saturday morning with a brand new baby bed from Toys R Us. After our last child came along, Bernice cancer had come back after years of being in remission. This time it had spread to her liver and she was given only a couple of months. I think it was hard for her to tell us what was going on. My husband got angry about this and thought they were trying to keep him in the dark about his mother's condition. Bernice explained to him that she couldn't bring herself to tell any of her children about her condition because she didn't want anyone worrying over her. I know her intentions were the best for the family, but this is the time she really needed us to be around to help. My father in law had always been distant and cold. Even today we don't have anything to really say to each other. When Alvin and I were dating Bernice would come to my mom's house and let me know what was going on with him. She told me that she knew the first day she met me, I was going to be her daughter in law. She would tell me the story of Ruth and Naomi. Bernice said that was her and me. I admired this woman so much and to this day I'm so grateful that God brought her into my life. I never had a good female role model. My mother was always told what to do by my grandmother and her sisters. I felt she never really had her own mind to do what she wanted to do. I didn't like to see this when I was living at home with my mom back then. When I spoke to my mother about this, I was always told to shut up and stay out of grown folk business. I didn't wan to be disrespectful to her and I minded my business. I knew that I didn't wan to live this way. When Alvin asked me to marry him, I didn't hesitate once to say yes.

It was Christmas day December 25, 2010. Alvin and I were awaken by the boys running around the living room squealing about what Santa Claus had brought them the night before. I got up and put on my robe and slippers and headed for the kitchen. I started coffee for me and Alvin. Alvin went outside to get the morning newspaper. Before he could sit down to open up the newspaper, the phone rang. It was his nephew Jimmy that lived in North Carolina.

“Hey, Unc,” said Jimmy. “You need to get to the hospital.”

“What's wrong?” asked Alvin.

“It's grandma man,” said Jimmy. “The doctor wants all the family here.”

“Okay,” said Alvin. “I'm on my way.”

I knew what was happening before he even told me what was going on. I walked over to my husband and gave him a hug. He was a strong man and I felt him shaking because his mother was his heart and he loved her so much. Alvin got dressed and went to the hospital. It was snowing when my husband left for the hospital. When I looked outside again it was raining. I put some clothes on and started washing the breakfast dishes. The third time I looked outside the sun was shining brightly. It was 2:00 pm, My husband called to tell me that his mother had passed. My heart sank and tears began running like streams from a river bed. I began to think that this wonderful lady has gone and it was like someone had knocked the wind of my body. The only thing I was able to bring myself to say was, “Okay”. I put the phone down and began sobbing harder than I ever did before. The song 'Baby it's Cold Outside” by Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong. I got up from the couch to get a tissue and saw that the skies had turned gray. It was now sleeting outside. This woman was such a good lady that even the weather didn't know what it wanted to do. Bernice was buried on New Year's day. She had touched the lives of so many people. My father in law had to have her funeral at the Civic Center because the church wasn't able to hold that many group of people. Bernice was the glue that held the family together and this day she is still missed tremendously.