What's One More Heartbreak?

The little bakery was bustling on a chilly Friday afternoon. The decorations of red and white hearts were littered across the counter and walls. Advertising a Buy-One-Get-One-Free cake sale in honor of Valentine's day. The mood overall was joyful. There were, however, few exceptions. 

The first being the couple in the five seat booth. They had gone from yelling, to crying, to pleading in the last twenty minutes and the owner was considering booting them. But there was no need. The girl ran from the cafe screaming that he was “ruining her life”. They had broken up. 

The second exception was Antonia Bennett. She was tapping her foot impatiently against the table leg with her arms crossed tight against her chest. Her eyes were trained on the window and she irritably watched for a specific person. A late person. Of course it was pointless as she did not really know who she was waiting for. And he technically wasn’t late. Yet. She was early. As usual.

“Miss An…uh…Attia? Antina?” Antonia scowled. The employee was calling her name-or at least trying too-for her to grab her valentine cookie. A red velvet heart. She normally wouldn’t go for something so cheerful looking but it was half off. And Antonia was a sucker for a sale. In fact her favorite saying was, “Nothing in life is free, it's only ever slightly reduced” and there was a second part, “Well, getting murdered is free. Or ripped off. So I guess most things in life are not free” but that part wasn’t really relevant.

“Miss! Miss…An…To…Nia! Your order is ready!” The employee waved the receipt in the air for a moment before setting it on the counter along with the cookie. Antonia decided she had better get her red velvet before someone stole it.

“Took you long enough,” she grumbled under her breath. Antonia wasn’t generally a happy person. But today she was in a truly foul mood. Her friend had set her up. On a blind date.

“Why would you do this,” Antonia had snapped at Genna when she had been informed of the fact that she now had a date on the 14th of February.

“Because, Annie! I didn’t think you'd do it on your own!” Genna had shrugged, nonchalantly.

“Of course I wouldn’t have! I hate Valentine's Day, hearts, heart-shaped-cookies, boys, and at the moment, you.” Antonia had shot Genna with a withering glare that made Genna giggle.

“Oh, whatever. You’ll have fun. Who knows,” she’d said. “Maybe you’ll even kiss. Or fall in love.” Genna winked. Antonia had pretended to gag. 

Kiss. Ha, no.

She didn’t need a guy in her life. They made things unnecessarily complex and they thought they could get away with everything. She didn't need that.

“I don’t believe in love, Gen. Love is just the feeling you get right before you get your heart ripped out. Love is just the thought that ‘oh, hey. You're cute. Let’s pretend we mean the world to each other but then let the other down every chance we get’. Love is just the stupid idea that you get when you meet someone you think is your soulmate but turns out to be a huge jerk. Love. Is. For. Suckers.” Antonia had given some variation of this speech to Genna a million times. But all Genna ever said was:

“We’ll see.” But Antonia went, because really, what was one more heartbreak?

At that moment the bell on the heart-painted door rang. Antonia looked over and saw a boy her sage, around eighteen, step in from the cold. He looked around for a moment. Looking for someone. He apparently couldn’t find them because he stepped to the side and continued looking. One of his hands anxiously wrapped around the strap of his satchel.

So this was her blind date, then. Antonia gave herself a moment to study him. He had annoyingly curly brown hair that was a touch too long to be peppy and too short to be ruffian. His eyes were wide and probably brown. He was actually reasonably short, perhaps shorter than Antonia, which annoyed her. His jawline was strong but his face was splattered with childish freckles. He wore neat jeans and a crisp polo shirt. With a brown satchel. He looked half young for his age and half old for his age.

Ding. A text from Genna.

So? Have u seen him yet??

Yes. She answered back.

AND!

He seems adequate, I suppose. I haven’t spoken to him yet.

He’s cute, isn't he?

Antonia didn’t respond. Genna, however, did.

I knew it. You do think he’s cute. I know your type.

Antonia didn’t know what to say to that. She rolled her eyes and started texting a response when someone tapped her on the shoulder.

“Excuse me?” Antonia looked over annoyed. It was her blind date.

“Yeah?”

“Er, are you…um.” Most people probably wouldn’t have a problem saying “are you here for a blind date” but under Antonia’s murderous look the boy was having some issues.

“So. I guess you're my blind date,” She said matter-of-factly. Her date nodded. He gestured to a chair beside her.

“Mind if I take a seat?”

“I’d prefer it if you stood the whole time.”

Her date smiled nervously. “Better blood circulation, I guess.” Antonia felt her mouth unwillingly quirk to the side. She’d expected him to say something more along the lines of “Uh…okay.” So he wasn’t a complete pushover. 

He took a seat. “So…what's your name?”

“Antonia.”

“Pretty,” he said. “Is that…Italian?”

She shook her head. “Roman. But you were closer than most.”

“Cool. I’m Arthur, in case you were wondering.”

“I wasn’t really.” A lie but Antonia wanted to see how he handled it.

“Okay. It’s supposed to mean bear. It's more of a medieval name. Kinda going out of style.”

“Great.” Antonia managed to hold in the “remind me why I’m supposed to care” that was burbling on her lips. Arthur ran his fingers through his hair. A nervous tic. She’d have to remember that. Antonia liked to remember everyone's tells and exploit them. Before someone did it to her. Again.

“I’m going to order a brownie. Do you want anything?”

“How chivalrous,” she deadpanned. “Planning to be Sir Arthur?”

“I’ll take that as a ‘no’ then?”

“I’ll take a snicker-doodle.” Antonia leaned back in her chair and waited for “Sir Arthur” to return. She didn’t think she liked him. Too shy. Not her style. Though she didn’t know what her style was yet.

Why did I agree to this again?

Uh oh. Genna responded almost immediately to her text. Trouble in paradise?

It's hardly paradise.

Give him a try! I think he’s sweet.

You date him then.

Too late. He’s already yours.

Antonia scoffed. He was not hers. And she didn't really want him to be.

“One snicker-doodle for the lady,” Arthur said, coming up.

“Thanks.” They ate their cookies in silence for a moment. The bell rang a few times as new customers arrived. Antonia watched children and parents stream in.

“So, Antonia, what do you like to do?” She thought this question was barely a step up from the classic “how was your day at school” but the eager look on his face made her soften. And, though she would never admit it, she kind of liked the way he said her name. Putting an emphasis on the “ton” and softer for the “ia”.

“I like to read. And learn. I hate sports.”

“Oh? What do you read?”

“Sci-fi, mostly. Some historical fiction. Some philosophy.” Antonia could have told Arthur she was giving him a million dollars and his smile couldn’t have gotten any bigger. There was a gap between his two front teeth. Antonia absently wondered if he was self-conscious about it. She didn’t think he should be.

“Really! I love historical fiction! Honestly, I just love learning about the world! It's all so fascinating! What's your favorite book? And time period! Are you into history? I’m sorry if you're not, I just thought…” He kept rapid fire questioning her and she answered. No favorite book. Favorite time frame, ancient Rome (if that was really a time frame). Yes, she was into history (but clearly not as much as him). Yes, she found other cultures interesting. No, she didn’t know the longest recorded flight of a chicken. Wait what?

“Hold up,” Antonia said. Holding up her hands. “Longest recorded flight of a chicken? What the heck does that have to do with history?”

“Um…” Arthur blushed and shrugged. “Nothing?”

Antonia rolled her eyes. “Obviously.”

“Well, do you wanna know?”

“Please tell me you don’t know that.”

“13 seconds.”

“Oh my goodness,” Antonia said. She felt an un-Antonia-like giggle burst from her lips. Arthur lost his nervous please-don’t-eat-me smile and laughed.

“So you can do that.”

“Do what,” Antonia tried to snap. But…failed. It ended out in more of a squeak that made Arthur snort. His laugh was, if Antonia was being honest with herself, adorable. It sounded like a baby goose honking in reverse. Mixed in with a few quick bursts of laughter and some snorts. It made her lips twitch again. A few small giggles came out.

“That,” Arthur said. Gaining some composure. He ran his fingers through his hair.

“What? Laugh?”

“Uh-huh.”

Antonia shrugged. Apparently she could. Arthur went to get them cups of water, which Antonia thought was sweet.

He made me laugh. She wasn’t sure why she sent it to Genna. It just felt important.

WHAT!?! Uh, what the what the what! No fair! I’ve been trying to do that for six months!!

If it helps, it was more of a giggle.

A GIGGLE! Antonia Bennett giggled! Girl, you are so in love.

Hmmm.

Ha! Gotcha! Kiss him!

Ew. No. We just met.

Please! In honor of Valentine's day!

No. I’m not in love.

Right, that would mess up your whole “Love is for suckers” thing.

Funny.

“Who’s that,” Arthur asked. Setting a plastic water bottle in front of her.

“Genna.”

“Oh! Genna! We have choir together.” Okay, choir? Really? 

“You're such a nerd.” Arthur rolled his eyes.

“Choirs’ cool!” Arthur nodded enthusiastically. Antonia made a “Hmph” sound in her throat. 

Arthur tisked. “Now all the choir kids are gonna jump you.”

“Yeah? Will you protect me?”

Arthur didn’t miss a beat. “Always.” Great. Why were her cheeks turning red? She’d meant for it to be the other way around.

“You know, I don’t believe in love,” Antonia blurted out. Might as well get the truth out there. “Just so you know.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Antonia expected that to be that. For him to say “oh well, didn’t like you anyway” and be off. That’s what everyone else said. They said she was too intense, too weird. Just not a good girlfriend. They said “I love you, Annie” (Never Antonia) and walked away a week later. Like love was just the next step in a relationship and breaking up was the last step. Like that one couple had when she first got here.

“Antonia,” Arthur said. Wow, she loved it when he said her name. “Why not?”

“It never works out. One person always leaves. They say ‘lets be together forever’ and leave the next day. Every flipping time.” Antonia snorted.

“Maybe you haven’t found the right one yet.”

“I’ve done a lot of trying,” Antonia commented, coolly. Exactly six. Roger (jock). Pete (chemistry geek). Ryan (Popular kid). Jorge (Music boy). Matthew (Weird kid). And Jack (the only one she ever really, truly thought might be the one).

“Well, you can’t just stop,” Arthur said earnestly. “I don’t think love is just a thing you say. It's like trust. You trust Genna don’t you? I feel it. It's like hope. Just hoping it’ll work out. It’s…it’s so many things, Antonia.”

Antonia.

She wondered if it was going to be seven tries soon. Roger, Pete, Ryan, Jorge, Matthew, Jack, and Arthur.

Antonia looked at Arthur for a moment. So intensely that he started to squirm. His slightly open mouth revealed the gap between his teeth. Maybe they weren’t just tries. Perhaps they were more. Finding what she liked. Finding what she didn’t. Breaking her heart so it could be stronger. Maybe love was giving someone your heart. And knowing, deep down, that they wouldn’t break it. Antonia had never been sure with any of her past trials that they wouldn’t destroy her heart. Until now.

It’s like trust…Antonia.

Antonia sighed. Maybe she didn’t believe him all the way yet but she could try. He didn’t look cruel, or mean, or selfish. He didn’t look like he’d tell her he loved her until he really meant it. 

“Antonia,” Arthur questioned. Peering at her. She’d been quiet for a while. And that worried look brought her over the edge.

Then she leaned in. And kissed him. Right on the lips. His cheeks went bright pink but then he melted. She brought her hand up to his cheek and drew him in. They were sitting side by side on the table. On it. The owner’s dirty looks subsided after a while. The cookie leftovers were lying forgotten on the table.

The couple were sitting back at their booth. Talking in quieter voices. Working things out. The heart decorations were spinning slowly in place. The bell on the door kept ringing. It started to snow outside. Antonia felt her phone vibrate but she ignored it. For now she was too busy softly kissing her companion. If had looked she would have seen it was from Genna.

Have you kissed him yet?

But she didn’t look. Antonia was a little scared it wouldn’t work but, oh what the heck.

What was one more heartbreak? 

It made her stronger.