Star switches

“Jiejie (姐姐), I think someone turned off the stars,” 

Xing whispered to me as he wrapped his fingers around my hand and chewed on a stick of sugar cane. I looked at my little brother and gave him a small, half-smile. 

“Don’t be silly Xingxing, we’ll be fine,” I brushed the dust and ash from his face with his cheeks streaked with dirt.  His eyes widened slightly, searching mine for reassurance, all I could do was wear a mask of joy which thankfully, he bought. Xing mumbled something under his breath and started to sway back and forth. I chuckled and picked him up to carry him on my back. “Is the little soldier boy getting tired?”

I felt his small head nod, his exhaustion evident in the way he nestled in my shoulder. I followed the footsteps of the wind until I arrived upon a cherry blossom tree, its buds still closed. The wind had stopped blowing, the leaves stopped rustling. My arms carried my brother onto my lap and I let him fall asleep as my back was pressed against the rough bark of the tree. I sat for some time looking into the empty sky, devoid of stars - devoid of direction. My eyelids gradually felt heavy and fatigue gnawed on my bones, then, I finally succumbed to sleep. 

After some time, I used both of my hands to rub my eyes groggily as I felt something sharp poking on my back… 

There’s something sharp poking on my back?!

Instinctively, I pulled Xing closer to my body but I looked down and he wasn’t there. My body jolted up on its feet and I looked around feeling my heart plummet. It was the dead of night and there was barely any light how on Earth could I find a missing child–

“You shouldn’t be here,” I heard someone say with a foreign accent lingering between their words. “Outsider,” 

Fear held me in its grip, paralyzing me with its icy fingers as I stood rooted to the spot with my heart racing in my ears. After what felt like hours, I found the courage to turn around to the source of the voice. 

He was a boy. Dark hair, dark eyes; he looked just like my people - he looked just like me but there was something different about him, despite the uncanny resemblance. His back was straight and he stood tall, holding himself with much pride in his own nation. My eyes diverted down to his hands, he was holding a gun in one and… my brother in another. Xing didn’t seem to mind being that close to something that could take his life in mere seconds; he was too young and naive but at the same time, he didn’t seem to mind being close to a stranger. Xing’s small hands both clutched the stranger’s arm and his face was painted with his signature childlike grin.

“Outsider,” The hostile voice repeated again with disdain as the foreign accent draped over the syllables like a dark omen. My lips dried and my mouth uttered no words as uncertainty churned within me. How could this stranger, who bore such a striking resemblance to my own people, brand me as an outsider?

“Jiejie, he told me where the stars went!” My brother’s voice crashed my train of thoughts and pierced through the tension like sunlight after a storm.

For a moment, I allowed myself to let go of the fear that had seized me, to revel in the simple joy of seeing my brother's face light up with excitement. But even as I smiled at him, a nagging sense of unease lingered at the back of my mind, a reminder of the dangers that lurked in the darkness.

“Where did the stars go, Xingxing?” I asked softly with a cautious gaze never leaving the stranger.

“He says they’re hiding,” Xing said and looked up at the taller stranger with much admiration. “But they’ll come back soon, jiejie. He promised,” 

I nodded, acknowledging the words my brother had spoken but this wasn’t the time for me to worry about a starless night. The stranger’s unwavering cold stare gazed at me, we waited for the other to say something… Anything.

“Give me back my brother,” I pleaded softly as my eyes darted from his weapon to Xing.

The stranger’s hand let go of the weapon and with a small thud, it fell lifeless onto the dirt beneath. “The kid’s getting weaker than he shows. I’ll take you to my village… It wouldn’t be wise to be wandering in the woods like this,” The stranger spoke quietly, his voice still tense. His offer took me by surprise and I hesitated to give him an answer.

“They’ll kill us, they’ll kill me and my brother,” I repeated, my voice barely above a whisper as I searched the stranger's face for some sign of reassurance. But all I found was a steely resolve, a determination that bordered on urgency. “I wouldn’t want to step foot in–”

“Just trust me. They wouldn’t know the difference, as long as you don’t speak,” he interjected, his tone firm yet strangely comforting. His words hung in the air like a heavy cloak, wrapping around me with a sense of inevitability that I couldn't shake.

What did he mean by ‘they wouldn’t know the difference?” That would be impossible, wouldn’t it?

“You don’t know the woods and who knows how long the stars would hide for. Everyone knows your people are helpless without them,”

Helpless without them. The words echoed in my mind, a painful reminder of the truth that lay at the heart of our existence. In a world where the movements of the celestial bodies dictated our fate, to be without the guidance of the stars was to be lost in a sea of darkness, adrift and alone.

If death came whilst we were at the village, at least it would be more merciful than starvation.

As I nodded my head in reluctant agreement, the older boy hoisted Xing onto his back, the weight of my brother resting heavily between his shoulders, and he dozed off again. I looked back at the weapon and raised an eyebrow as to why he would not pick it up. I wanted to ask about it, but another part of me feared the answer. I walked silently by his side as he strode through the woods, his gaze flickered towards me but his expression became concealed by the dim light of the moon.

"He's a brave one," he said, his voice softer now, tinged with a hint of admiration. "Not many would be so fearless in the face of the unknown."

As I listened to the older boy's words, a sense of pride swelled within me, mingled with a twinge of worry for my sleeping brother. Xing had always been adventurous, unafraid to embrace the unknown with open arms. But in a world filled with dangers and uncertainties, his bravery could easily become his downfall.

“He’s just a child,” I whispered gently as I watched my brother’s peaceful form slumbering on the older boy’s back. “He doesn’t understand about the dangers,”

A fleeting glimpse of sympathy crosses his features before he quickly masks it with a stoic facade. “None of us truly do,” he murmured, his voice tinged with a hint of regret. “But sometimes, it’s the innocence of youth that gives us strength to keep moving forward, even in the shrouded darkness,”

***

The village was peaceful, there were nothing more but chatters of women as they walked through the paths while the men were nowhere to be found. There were signs and characters painted on the walls and some of their characters were legible in my language but others were foreign and unfamiliar, their meanings lost to me. I was about to open my mouth to ask a question but then a woman approached the older boy.

She studied me but the demeanor of the boy stayed calm and he put a protective arm in front of me, a silent reminder to stay quiet and cautious. They exchanged words in a language that was foreign to my ears, each syllable was short and flat. I strained to catch snippets of their conversation, but their words remained as elusive as the wind, slipping through my grasp like sand through an open palm.

After what felt like an eternity, the woman came to an understanding and gave me a pleasant smile. The older boy must have been an impeccable liar as he had made an impression. Earning us a reprieve from whatever suspicions the woman had initially passed upon us. As the woman turned to leave, her footsteps echoing softly on the cobblestone path, I couldn’t shake the feeling that we were walking on thin ice; teetering on the edge of a precipice that threatened to crumble beneath our feet at any moment.

Weeks passed since I had arrived and the older boy's deception had held firm. To the villagers, I was nothing more than a mute; I didn’t speak a word of their language because quite frankly, I couldn’t. I’d never let any words slip out, I was too afraid of the consequences. The older boy knew that - we’d go talk in the depths of the forest for hours with no witnesses but the trees and the moon. This village was superstitious you see, he said they’d tell stories of bad spirits lurking in the woods if you wandered into them in the middle of the night. 

The nights never went by easily, Xing was always fast asleep though, his energy drained from playing with the village kids all day. One night I found myself sitting on the wooden platform in front of the house hugging my knees against my chest, looking at the sky which was starless once again. I whispered a silent prayer into the night and closed my eyes.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and I turned around, it was the older boy, his gesture was a silent invitation to follow him. Without hesitation, I rose to my feet and took his hand.

In the stillness of the night, we walked through the winding paths and ventured out of the heart of the village and to the woods. We emerged into a small clearing bathed in the soft glow of the cold lights emitted, there was a stream and the water posed as a mirror.

“Look,” the boy spoke, his voice barely above a whisper, his accent shortening the rhythm of every syllable of my language. It has become something I have grown to adore. He pointed upwards and I tilted my head towards that direction.

Above us, a tapestry of stars stretched out as far as the eye could see, each celestial body cast a soft light upon the world below. It was something that would give anyone a sense of peace; it gave me a sense of direction.

I felt his hand give mine a light squeeze. “The moon is beautiful isn’t it?” He remarked, but he wasn’t looking at the moon.

“It always has been,” I whispered as I felt his gaze linger on my face. When I caught his stare, he looked away from me, smiling. We stood in the comforting quiescence surrounded by the soft murmurs of the night.

The silent language of the stars had woven an unspoken connection, perhaps a realisation? 

All of a sudden, the violent sound of running trampled across the Earth, and the boy’s hold on my hand tightened, his fingers digging into mine with a sense of urgency. Panic surged through me as I scanned the darkness and I felt a light push on my back, accompanied by a whispered command. 

“Hide,”

My eyes widened. What was he so afraid of?

“What about you?”

He shook his head dismissively. “I know what I’m doing, just go,” he insisted, his eyes settled with a fierce fire that left me no room for argument. With a final squeeze of his hand, I reluctantly let go and slipped into the cover of the trees.

As I crouched behind a thick trunk, the low voice of a man echoed through the night, his angry shouts causing the branches to quiver in fear.

“My own son,” The man uttered angrily as his words sparked his fuse, “My own son is a traitor to our kind,”

“I don’t know what you’re–”

“Don’t lie to me! I heard you speak that foul language, where is she,” the man’s voice crackled with barely contained fury, his anger even palpable from where I was hiding. 

The older boy’s attempt at an innocent facade swiftly vanished as his expression darkened. It was as though a storm had swept across his features, erasing any trace of the calm exterior he had previously presented.

“Father, you couldn’t even tell that she was not one of us,” he retorted, his voice laced with a mixture of frustration and defiance with an underlining of desperation. As I watched him, a sense of unease settled in the pit of my stomach.

The man continued to bellow in rage about unity and loyalty, his hand was inching dangerously close to his weapon. “I will not have someone of tainted blood walking around free in my village! Where is she!”

I remained hidden behind the tree, every instinct screamed at me to run, to flee, but I had once again become rooted in the spot. I looked away to divert my attention to something else. The shouting was incoherent to me but you didn’t need to know what words spewed out to realize that this man was furious. I was powerless to intervene, to defuse the situation unfolding. What could I do? If I ran in right now I’d be killed on the spot, and if I ran away I’d never forgive myself for leaving the older boy in such a situation. I tried to cover my ears to–

Bang.

The reality hit me like a physical blow, leaving me reeling in shock and disbelief - surely my own senses had to be lying to me. I turned around immediately and I was about to get up on my feet until I was met with the sight of the older boy on his knees clutching onto his chest. He was looking straight at me through the cover of the leaves.

Don’t.

He mouthed before his body went limp, collapsing onto the floor. His silent plea echoed in my mind, a desperate plea for me to stay hidden, to preserve my own safety in the face of danger.

The colour drained from the man’s face, the rage that had consumed him moments before seemed to evaporate into thin air. In its place was a haunting emptiness, a void that mirrored the loss that now hung heavy. The grip on the man’s weapon loosened, and with a trembling hand, he threw it with all his strength, the metal clattering against rocks as it landed on the other side of the rushing stream. He did not give his dying son one last look before he ran, the ghost of his crimes following him through the darkness.

“Hoshi!” I yelled and scrambled onto my feet. I ran towards him and knelt, scraping my knees on the rocks. His dark hair spilled over his pained face as his breathing faltered. I held his face in my hands and caressed his cheek comfortingly like I would with Xing when he cried. “Stay… Please,” desperation clawed my throat as I struggled to find words of solace in the face of such senseless violence. It was hopeless, I knew that.

“Go to Xing,” his response came weakly, barely a whisper against the backdrop of the night. “Go home.” With a trembling hand, I brushed the hair away from his face, my fingers lingering against his cheek for a moment longer. His gaze fixed on the starless sky above. "You have to," he insisted. 

"I can't leave you," I choked. "Not like this."

He gave me a smile that felt like shards of glass had finally cut through his bravery. He whispered as eyelids threatened to close, coffin-shut.

“Oh darling, I think someone’s turning off the stars…” 

Notes/easter eggs?

• Xingxing means star in Chinese, whilst Hoshi means star in Japanese!
• In Japan, the phrase "the moon is beautiful, isn't it?" or "月が綺麗ですね?" is a roundabout way of saying 'I love you' !