Children Obey Your Parents

Submitted into Contest #116 in response to: Start your story with someone being forbidden from doing something.... view prompt

7 comments

Fiction Crime Drama

Raphia Journey was forbidden from going into her neighbor’s, Roy’s, house, but she did anyways.

Inside the house, Raphia found the missing woman, Keshia, tied, beaten and gagged in Roy’s basement.

“I’m going to untie you, okay. Don’t panic I’m here to help you.” Raphia quickly untied the lady. You’re almost untied.” She assured her. Blood trickled down Keisha’s head from being hit repeatedly with a rifle. The lady groaned from her head injuries.

“You don’t have to worry. I’ve been watching the house. He’s gone. You’re safe now.” Raphia said as she finished untying Keshia. 

As soon as the rope around Keshia’s ankles fell to the floor, Keshia stood up, ran and grabbed the shovel that had been leaning against the basement stairs and held it in front of her to protect herself from Raphia. 

“What are you doing?” Raphia asked. She walked towards Keshia and tried to grab the shovel out of her hands. But Keshia was quick, whipping the shovel out of Raphia’s reach, as the 12 year old fell forward making it easy for Keshia to turn around and hit her on the head, knocking the 12 year old child out cold.

When Raphia woke up, she was tied up with duck tape around her arms and ankles. They weren’t in the basement anymore but in the woods. Keshia was digging a hole a few feet away from her.

“Where are we? Where’s the neighborhood?” Raphia asked. Keshia ignored her question.

“You thought you could trick me didn’t you? You thought you could pretend to be my savior. But I know it was you. You’re the one who’ve kidnapped me and kept me in that basement all those years, beating me senseless. But I remember. I remember those darn black high top converses. I’ll never forget the those shoes.” Keshia explained, as she continued to dig the grave.

It was cold and the sun was setting, portraying a medium blue color all around them. Raphia squirmed trying to break free. All she wanted to do was save Keisha. Tears streamed down her face as she wished she had listened to her mother, who had forbid her from going into Roy’s house to search for the lost girl. But Raphia had to disobey her mother; she knew something was not right. She knew Keshia had to be locked in that house somewhere. Turns out, Raphia was right. Keshia was locked away in the house. The 12 year old would have never guessed that the result of her investigation would lead to her being tied up in the woods somewhere with a confused victim as her kidnapper.

“I’m not the one who kidnapped you.” Raphia said. She tried to keep her voice calm, trying hard not to upset Keshia anymore than she already was. 

“Shut up!” Keshia yelled. She kept her back towards Raphia while she tried to break through the ground with her shovel.

It was autumn and the ground was cold but it was not frozen solid; it was just hard for a 110 pound, head trauma victim to break through the cold, thick soil. 

Raphia used this time to bring her feet close to her mouth and silently chewed through the duck tape. She kept a close eye on Keisha who was struggling to push the shovel deep into the cold soil as she chewed. 

As soon as Raphia broke through the duck tape, she jumped to her feet and began running. Even though Raphia’s hands were still tied, she was able to run. With her eyes forward, Raphia kept running not looking back to see if Keisha was following her. Raphia prayed Keshia was not chasing her.

But Keshia was chasing her and she was running fast. The head trauma victim was hot on Raphia’s tail. The preteen knew she couldn’t out run this psychopath and her best bet would be to hide somewhere.

As soon as Raphia felt she was out of Keshia’s sight, she hid behind a thick tree to catch her breath. Only minutes later was Keshia standing on the other side of that tree looking for the run away child. 

“How could you’ve let her escape?! You were supposed to watch her. Now she’s free, free to continue her rain of terror.” Keshia said to herself. The voice Keshia used to say this scared Raphia. It was not Keshia’s voice. The voice had a high pitch sinister tone to it. Raphia peeked from behind her thick tree to see who Keshia was talking to. To her surprise no one was there. The woman was talking to herself in different voices.

“I didn’t let her escape!” Keshia yelled at no one. Raphia hid back behind her tree. She closed her eyes. She did not want to be a hero anymore. She was ready to be a child again, home playing with her friends. 

“Well, she can’t be far. Look for her.” The sinister voice ordered. Keshia began to walk to search for Raphia, thankfully she went in the opposite direction from where the child was hiding.

Raphia let out a small sigh, waited a few seconds, before she lifted her legs up, and brought her arms forward and under her legs so she could chew through the duck tape around her arms. Once her arms were free, Raphia began to run again. 

The sky was turning black and fast. Nighttime was coming, Raphia knew she needed to find shelter. She saw an old barn. Of course the barn was abandon, but she went inside of it anyways. By this time, the blue in the sky had turned into a pitch black, making it hard to see anything outside. Raphia thought she would hide in a small corner somewhere in the old barn until daylight and then continue her journey home. 

The barn’s door was light and opened with ease. It was pitch black inside, just as she expected it to be.

Slowly walking and feeling her way around the barn, Raphia felt her way to a wall, sat down under it and cried silently. Because she was forbidden to go into her neighbor’s house, Raphia lied to her mother saying she was sleeping over at a friend’s house. The friend Raphia said she would be sleeping at, didn’t exist and the phone number Raphia had given her mother was the number to the pay phone at the gas station that she passes on her way to school each morning. Raphia went as far as to have the crackhead at the gas station pretend to be her friend’s loving father when her mother called the phone number to check and make sure everything was okay. Now Raphia regretted doing so. Her family wouldn’t be able to find her. No one knew she was in these woods being chased by a psychopath. 

A twig snapped in the distance outside and Raphia froze. A light from a flashlight shined passed the barn’s window, making it easy for Raphia to see her surroundings for a few seconds. Without hesitation she crawled under a table and hid behind a bucket. She made herself as small as she could as the flashlight shined inside the window. 

“She has to be inside” the sinister voice said. Raphia closed her eyes. Was this the end? 

“She wouldn’t be that stupid to hide inside here. Let’s keep looking somewhere else.” Keshia ordered. 

“Are you with me or against me?” The voice asked. Raphia heard a small thump outside as the flashlight’s light went away. “Go inside and check it out. Be sure that evil psycho isn’t in there.” 

Raphia needed a plan and fast. How would she escape? Keshia was a fast runner for someone who had suffered from blunt force trauma to the head and it was cold and dark outside. There was no possible way Raphia could find her way in the pitch dark. She took a deep breath. Raphia needed a plan. Her plan was to run pass Keshia as soon as the woman was far enough inside the barn and then lock Keshia inside as she ran away.

“No. I’m not going in there. Let’s go back to the hole and continue looking for her in the morning. She can’t be far.” Keshia suggested. The voice agreed, as they turned around and walked away.

Raphia exhaled, as she crawled from under the table. The flashlight’s light faded in the distance as the psycho kept walking away. Raphia was thankful and spent the night in the barn. 

That next morning, as the sun rose, Raphia did not waste any time, she bursted out of the barn and ran in the woods.

Even though the wind wasn’t blowing, the air was crisp and cold. Dew covered the ground, making it slippery as she ran. 

Raphia ran and ran, and after what seemed like hours of running, she saw a clearing in the woods. 

“Oh thank God.” She said as she ran towards the clearing. But before she could reach it, Raphia stepped into a bear trap.

“Ah!” she screamed. “Ah! God helped. Ah!” The pain was excruciating.

“Gotcha.” The sinister voice said as Keshia appeared out of nowhere. “We knew you would try to escape, so we set a trap.” Keshia jumped up and down clapping her hands happily. “Come now. Let’s finish what we have started.” Keshia wore a sinister grin on her face. Raphia wondered where Keshia’s voice was? The whole time the sinister voice had been speaking to her. 

“Where’s Keshia?” Raphia asked, as she watched Keshia’s body dig the nailed part of the bear trap out of the ground. Keshia was not trying to free the child’s leg from the trap itself. 

“She was a hinderance to our project. I had to get rid of her. She won’t be back anytime soon.” The voice answered. Raphia whimpered. Her whimpering shortly turned into a loud cry. “I want to go home. I’m only 12. I didn’t do anything to anybody. All I wanted to do was to be a hero.

“Shut up. You’re not a hero. We know you’re evil little plan.” The sinister voice said. Raphia stared at Keshia as she continued to dig the trap out of the ground. “I don’t have an evil little plan” Raphia cried.

“Enough!!” When Keshia had finished digging the trap out of the ground, she grabbed Raphia by the hair and drug her back to the hole.

The hole was deep, deeper than it had been 24 hours ago. 

“No, no, stop, please stop. I’m only a kid.” Raphia cried. She tried to fight Keshia, but she was not strong enough to free herself from Keisha’s grasp. 

“In you go.” The voice said, dragging Raphia over to the hole and dropping her inside. 

The child fell to the bottom, hitting it with a thump. Raphia screamed in pain from her leg and the fall.

“Keshia!” Raphia screamed. She tried one last time to reach the woman. “Keshia! Please, come back, please.” The child cried. Keshia picked up the shovel and began shoveling dirt on top of the child. “Keshia please. My name is Raphia. I need you. I need your help like you needed mine.” 

Keisha chuckled, “Keshia needs no one.” The voice said, as she buried Raphia alive. 

When Keshia had finished burying Raphia, she began walking to the clearing. In the clearing was a truck Keshia used to drive to the rural area.

As soon as Keisha reached the clearing, she noticed that the truck was gone. “Where’s the truck?” The sinister voice asked. There was a rumbling noise coming from behind her. Keshia turned around to see someone was in the truck, and they were ready to run Keshia over with it.

The person inside the truck rumbled the engine, letting the deranged woman know she had a ten second running start before he began chasing her.

Keisha began running as the person in the truck floored the gas. The truck hit Keshia with ease before coming to a stop.

Roy exited the truck and then walked over to Keshia, who was lying on the ground dying.

“I don’t know how you escaped the basement, but I’m finishing this once and for all. You’re a danger to society and I can’t let you hurt another child.” He whispered to her as he wrapped his hands around her throat. 

Keshia’s body jolted as she squirmed for air. She tried desperately to tell him that she had buried a child not too far away. But she could never catch her breath to do so. The only person who knew where the 12 year old was, was now dead.


News Story

On the 11 O’clock news tonight, Raphia Journey is missing. The 12 year old child has been missing for three days now. Her mother reported her missing after she didn’t come home from a friend’s house over the weekend. Police later found out that the friend the child said she would be spending the night at doesn’t exist. Police are searching for the child. In other news, the missing woman from the mental hospital was found dead on a busy highway later today. Police says it looks like the woman was hit by a car. They believe the woman was hit at night and the person who hit her probably thought they had hit an animal as to why the incident was never reported. The missing mental patient was found wearing a bear costume and could have been mistaken for an animal. Police is calling it a hit and run with no further investigation. 

October 21, 2021 02:55

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7 comments

19:44 Oct 21, 2021

You have really great energy here, but need to unspool the story in a clear and concise fashion. I've edited the following paragraph (as an old English teacher, I can't help it.) “Ah!” she screamed. “Ah! God help me!” Raphia cried as she held her leg, rocking back and forth. The pain was excruciating.

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Tiffy H
00:12 Oct 22, 2021

Thank you. The story was unclear? All of it was unclear? Thank you again for editing for me.

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14:48 Oct 22, 2021

Anytime :) The story was not entirely unclear. Just in a few parts because you had so much action (which I like!)

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Tiffy H
00:29 Oct 23, 2021

Ah okay. Yes, I’ve fixed those parts now. Hopefully they are better. Thank you so much for helping me. I appreciate your help a lot and I always welcome it ☺️

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Unknown User
18:02 Oct 21, 2021

<removed by user>

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Tiffy H
00:14 Oct 22, 2021

Thank you for helping me. That sounds like a great idea. Thank you.

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Tiffy H
02:56 Oct 21, 2021

Hey guys. Please leave a comment to help me improve my writing. Thank you

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