Running Out of Time

Whether I like it or not, the truth is, that I was running out of time, and if I’m being completely honest with myself, I ran out of time almost 3 years ago. And every year, people make New Year’s Resolutions for themselves, hoping to live a better life. But the problem with this is that by the time that February has rolled around the majority of us are already right back to where we started. This is something we have all done, as for me I have been doing it for far too long.

Let me give you a quick rundown of the last few years. Junior High. Oh, what an awful period in people’s lives, between our bodies changing, endless amounts of work, raging hormones, and not having the slightest clue as to who you are, you may find yourself in the worst time of your life. I was lucky enough to have found a friend during all of this, but of course, it wasn’t long until I began to find myself in the worst possible situation. I realized then that I had become a complete stereotype, I had fallen for my best friend. At some point in my freshman year, I had decided that I was going to tell him how I felt, and I had made it my resolution for the coming year. Three years had gone by and I found myself making the same resolution each year, and never following through with it. It wasn’t until now that I realized that there would never be the “perfect time” to tell him. Now was probably the worst time to tell him but it’s not like things could get much worse for us. 

Currently, we are in one of the biggest fights we have had in a while, but I’m not going to get into that right now. The fact of the matter is that this year I am going to complete my goal, no matter what. This will be the year that I finally tell him how I feel. This will make or break us, there is no other way around it. 

I tend to overthink things so today, I will simply not think, I will just do.

 Sitting up, I realized that even as I told myself that I wouldn’t overthink, that was exactly what I was doing. I laughed to myself, I am overthinking about not overthinking, the irony. I took my phone off the charger and looked at the time, it read 10:19. Holy crap, I lost track of time.  

“Sarah! Get in here!” I yelled as I scrambled to get out of bed. I could hear her as she ran down the hall, footsteps louder as she got closer.

“What is it, are you okay!?” The door flew open, concern painted across her face. 

“I have to be ready in like an hour, and I need help.” I threw open my closet doors, shifting through my clothes frantically looking for something to wear for tonight.

“You’re kidding me, I thought something serious happened,” she said rolling her eyes. I was about to say something when she cut me off, “don’t even. This is not serious, or an emergency of any kind.” 

“It is too, now get over here and help me!” 

We looked through my closet, tossing anything cute onto my bed. Sarah turned around, toward my bed and stopped. 

“What? Why did you stop?” Turning around, I understood. “Well, that’s gonna be fun to clean up.” There was a very large pile of different tops, skirts, jeans, belts, dresses, shoes, hats, gloves, scarves, and bags thrown across my bed and the floor. That will be a problem for future me to deal with. 

“Let’s get to work then, I have better things to do than help you decide what to wear.” 

“Pfft, yeah,” I snorted “sure you do.”

45 minutes later we had finally agreed upon an outfit. Sarah wanted to do my hair and makeup, so I allowed her, but not before I told her that if she messed it up that I was going to kill her. When I walked out to look in the mirror I was surprised that she had done such a nice job, my hair was braided back on top and curled below and my makeup was so simple yet still glam. 

“Alright now spin or something!” she squealed holding up her phone. 

“Okay, okay!” I posed a couple of times while she took some pictures of me for her socials. “Okay, I need to get going. Thanks for the help, Sare.” I grabbed my purse as I  headed towards the door.

“Of course Sis, have fun!”

I rushed out the door, and out to my car. Once I got out on the road the traffic was insane, so I plugged my phone in and clicked my playlist. Listening to music usually helps to pass the time quickly, and this way I didn’t have to worry about what I was going to say to Brock when I got there. I turned the volume up to 17, the car shook due to the bass, but it cleared my head for the most part so I ignored it. I was humming along thoughtlessly with each song, not paying too much attention to what was playing. The next song began to play, and the guitar strum stopped me dead in my tracks, my foot slipped and I slammed on the brakes for a moment. There was a loud honk from behind me, I released my foot from the break and zoned into the music. It started as a hum and before I knew it I was belting out the words to the perfect song for my situation. 

‘In case you didn’t know, baby I’m crazy bout you!

And I would be lying if I said that I could live this life without you!’ 

What are the odds that this song was to play, now? It was a sign, I have to follow through with this.

‘Even thoughhhh, I don’t tell you all the time, you had my heart a long long time agooo. 

In case you didn’t know.’

Looking over at the clock I saw that I was going to be cutting it close. It was 11:38, but I was just a block away. Everything will be fine, I am gonna make it in time, I have to. 

As I pulled over to park down the block, I had 19 minutes to find him and finally tell him how I felt. I rushed over to the building and ran inside. It was a beautiful building with a nicely furnished lobby and it even had one of those fancy indoor water fountains that kids throw coins into. The elevator finally opened, and once it started to move my nerves began to grow. By the time I had reached the top floor, it was 11:47. 

I was running out of time, I searched through the party, not stopping for people who wanted to talk to me. I had searched the whole place and Brock was nowhere to be found, I didn’t understand. I pulled my phone out, 11:53, his story says he is here, so where is he?

I looked around frantically, adrenaline flowing through my veins, replacing the nerves with impatience and confidence. 

“Hey, Caroline! I didn’t know you were going to be here.” A voice said from somewhere around me. I looked around, trying to figure out who was talking to me when someone grabbed my shoulder. 

“Ahhh!!” I jumped. I turned around to see my friend Chris laughing. I glared at him and slapped his arm, “Jesus Christ Chris! You scared the hell out of me!”

“Yeah, I know,” he said still laughing “that was kinda the point Care.”

Sighing, I pulled out my phone, 11:56.

“I am kinda surprised to see you here.”

“I would love to talk Chris, but I really need to find Brock. Have you seen him?” Standing as tall as I could, I continued to try and look around the room for him. 

“Oh, uh Brock is up on the roof. Why?” he asked, trying to hide the pain on his face.

“Of course, the roof! Thanks, Chris!” I yelled behind me as I ran towards the door. I took the steps two at a time and when I got to the top.

Now was my chance to tell him exactly how I have felt for the past 4 years. I could finally tell him how when he is around, I go weak in the knees, that my heart sometimes skips a beat when he smiles at me, or how his laugh can brighten my day no matter what has me down. When I reached the door at the top of the stairs, I paused for a moment, looking at the countdown, only 5 seconds until Midnight. It’s now or never, so I threw open the door, running out onto the roof.

The fireworks went off, and there he was, smiling I made my way over to him, and that’s when I saw her standing there, kissing him. The door slammed shut behind me, and every ounce of joy or excitement was replaced with pain and terror. I turned and ran back downstairs and tried to see through the tears. I realized now that I was too late, I was out of time.