Ethics Class

Why am I the only one here? I never see any of my classmates studying anywhere, yet they all seem to be doing so well in their classes. This thought is how Juliet starts most of her library visits lately. Although not every person needs to study as intensely as she does, Juliet has been noticing more and more that the university library is usually empty. She can be there early in the morning, midday or late in the evening, yet no one is visibly there with her except a librarian busy doing whatever librarians do.

The first time she realized this was when Juliet was in the library two weeks ago, early afternoon or so. The rain was pummeling down with thunder so loud, the ground seemed to shake. As she entered the all too familiar building, the smell of books and history (Juliet preferred to think of the old, musty odor as history) permeated the air and the daytime darkness from the storm created an eerier than usual sensation. The echoing from the thunder awakened Juliet’s awareness not only to the massive size of the campus library, but of how quiet it was. Upon looking around, she saw no one at any tables or in the private rooms. No one on any floor except those who worked there. From then on, Juliet noticed the desolation around her whenever she entered.

This particular evening brings Juliet, backpack weighing her down and a cup of coffee steaming in her hand, to the middle of the entrance foyer, studying the room. No sounds, no movement and no other students. So peculiar, but she needs to get to work. Her physics test is tomorrow and her less than stellar grades so far are putting her in danger of failing for the semester. Juliet begins walking to her usual spot, but upon thinking of how her luck needs to change, she decides to take advantage of the desolate building and find a new spot on the third floor instead of the second.

Juliet settles on a new area of the library which actually makes her feel a bit more at ease, as upon looking around, she admires the detailed architecture of the walls and bookcases. It was one of the things which drew her to this university three years ago when she came for a tour of the campus. The school steeped in history and architecture, which were a must in her mind, made her feel like she was truly immersed in the college experience. This library called to her from the beginning.

Opening her backpack and taking a sip of coffee, Juliet draws her attention away from the environment so she can tackle the studying she has been dreading. This is going to be a long night. Physics has been one of her toughest courses yet, and three years into her studies, she has understood that not everyone is able to maintain their A average from high school. Growing up, her parents instilled in her the importance of a good work ethic over grades, but having such a high grade point average did help her maintain the confidence in her intelligence. Her father would explain how the effort is more important than the grade. He would rather her earn a C and walk away learning something than get an A simply by memorizing facts which would soon leave her memory upon completing a course. Juliet has always respected and appreciated her parents’ encouragement and life lessons, but she still finds ways to apply pressure on herself to be near the top. In fact, throughout high school, her father would say, “I wish you some failure; no one is perfect.” Those words would horrify Juliet, not only because her father wished her to fail, but because it would instill a genuine fear that the “test Gods” may hear and grant such a wish.

Today, although Juliet has yet to fail an entire course, she has come to better appreciate that quote from her father. Having to struggle and work harder than ever before (as well as failing several tests throughout her semesters) Juliet understands that her father has wanted her to learn throughout life, and failure is a lesson and a struggle all on its own. In the context of school, it has challenged Juliet to be kinder to herself, to learn of her own resilience, and has taught her the areas in which her joy of learning flourishes not due to grades, but due to her desire to want to continue learning a particular topic and area. In other words, Juliet has acquired a better understanding of herself. Someday, she will let her father gloat when she tells him his words have officially resonated with her.

Her physics notes staring back at her, Juliet is reading, but not comprehending. Her attention is being drawn to a glowing light down one of the aisles. Ordinarily, she would brush this off as simply a lamp at the end of the row, but she notices that up towards the ceiling is an arrow lit up, pointing to an unknown location. Juliet looks around, expecting to see someone laughing and pointing at their practical joke but there is no one to be seen or heard. Am I dreaming?

Juliet slowly rises and walks towards the arrow with hesitation and fear. Her curiosity is definitely driving her feet forward as she keeps her hands gliding across a row of books to steady her trembling body and to grab a book as a weapon, if needed. Her aim has never been all that great, but hopefully if there is danger at the end, a thrown book will give her enough chance to run back the other way. Moment of truth arrives and the library is no longer quiet since all Juliet can hear is the deafening thump, thump, thumping of her heart. She does a small jump as she turns to position herself; a girl ready for anything.

No fanfare though; just a large door that is ever so slightly ajar. The heavy, antique door opens slowly with Juliet having to push all her body weight against it. The creaking is minor but noticeable, and knowing no one else is ever around, she feels no danger that someone will come up behind her. The fear is in front of her, for there is no way of knowing what lies behind the door until it is fully opened. The musty air permeates Juliet’s nostrils and it doesn’t take a reflection in a mirror to make her aware that her eyes are opened in awe bigger than ever before. She takes in her surroundings. For such an archaic and old-fashioned room, it seems endless with computers and huge screens everywhere. Juliet focuses on the one screen that is highlighted and flashing. It has all of her classes listed with links to open next to each course name. Again, Juliet looks around to see if anyone is present, but does not see anyone. She takes the mouse and clicks on the link for Advanced Physics. Immediately, files open that show every upcoming test with the answers filled in!

The astonishment at such a discovery is still registering in Juliet’s brain when she hears faint typing from across the room. She wanders towards it and finds one of her most annoying classmates, Roger, sitting in front of a computer of his choosing (or which chose him). Her irritation towards Roger stems from his constant bragging about how smart he is, which he bases solely on his grades and not on intelligent or deep conversations. Anyone can look good on paper. To Juliet, it is the substance within which makes us interesting and clever.

“What are you doing in here and what is all of this?” asks Juliet.

Roger barely flinches when he hears her.

“Where are we, you ask? You’ve entered into a dimension of power and the all-knowing. This room…this room is where the chosen are given the opportunity to progress further than the unchosen. This is where we are given the power to bypass the minutia of life and secure our futures with superior abilities in landing the most prestigious careers. Memorize the answers to every test for every course and you will be the master of your domain. You will graduate with honors and have companies fighting to hire you for your exceptional intelligence and abilities,” Roger answered with such sincerity that it was clear his delusions of grandeur were not a mischaracterization by Juliet when she initially met him freshman year.

“What do you mean I am one of the chosen? Who decides which students are presented with the prospect of perfect grades and how has this all been kept such a secret? Have you ever met the creator of this secret room?”

For the first time since she approached, Roger stops typing and makes eye contact. “Are you serious? Who cares why we are the ones gifted this opportunity! I couldn’t care less who started this ingenious set-up, nor do I ever care to meet them. I am now a master student who will have businesses clamoring over me upon graduation. Don’t you see it? It is not just the answers being laid out in front of us. It’s our futures comprising success and wealth!”

The idea that she could “ace” her classes provides an initial jolt of excitement and intrigue to Juliet, but just as quickly, reality drains away that exuberance when she faces the impact of Roger’s delusional words. How would this deliver to Juliet a successful life? Roger can rationalize all he wants, but the harsh truth at such an exceptional offer is summed up into one word: cheating. The moral base with which she was raised has never been more in front of her than right now. And not so much in front of her as it is embedded within her. Cheating is a coward’s way out and will do nothing to truly help her in life. It does not matter if no one ever found out because Juliet would know the truth and would never be able to look at herself with the respect and pride she does now. Funny how she never really thought about how positively she sees herself until she is offered the chance to see an alternate life of dishonesty.

With her head held high, Juliet does not even respond to Roger. There is nothing to say. Clearly, he will not care of her decision, as it does not affect him and Roger only cares about Roger. She turns on her heels and walks back towards that ominous door. She passes by “her” computer and stops to shut it off. Chosen or not, Juliet has no need for such a room. Just as she places her hand on the mouse to exit the program, the words, “Physics Bonus Question” with a link catch her eye. This raises her curiosity. Feeling the victory of not fully cheating and vowing to never walk anywhere near this room again, Juliet clicks the link. She stares at the screen, commits the question and answer to memory and shuts down her computer. As she approaches the big door and leverages her weight to pull it back open, Juliet silently repeats her father’s wise words, No one is perfect.