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“What do you think? Do you think he’ll like it?”

“Like it? Girl, he’s gonna lose his freakin’ mind. That dress is on fire. Now, what’s the plan for this— hair? You can’t just throw it in a ponytail and call it good. It needs style to really show the true you.”

“I was thinking of pulling it up, sort of loose but elegant. Like this. You know what I mean.”

“Mmm, I think I see it, but you know what would really set it off? Some flowers. Right here behind your ear. Add a little surprise pop. Trust me on that.”

“Flowers? That’s… actually sort of adorable. Will you do it for me after I finish my makeup?”

“Of course. But, uh, are you sure you trust me with your hair? It’s a little different from mine.”

“What do you mean? Hair’s hair.”

“Girl, you know what I mean. My hair’s tight and curly, yours is all… I don’t know, like silk sheets. You sure you’re ready for this magic?”

“I trust you, Chenille. You would never let me look bad, especially at something important like this.”

“Alright, then. But don’t be boobing if it don’t turn out perfect. Who’s the lucky dude, anyway?”

“Garrett Slawson. Can you believe he finally asked me out?”

“Wait. Hold up. Garrett Slawson? You mean my Garrett?”

“Um… he’s not yours, Chenille. That was over two years ago!”

“What? You trippin! More like nine months. And you’re just now telling me this?”

“I didn’t think it was a big deal! You went out, like, twice.”

“Twice? Girl, I dated him for six months! Six whole months. What you even talkin’ about? You ain’t got an air head’s clue.”

“You never said anything! I just figured it couldn’t be that serious.”

“Not serious? After you kidding? We were practically married!”

“Chenille, come on. You didn’t even like him that much. Remember when you said he chewed too loud?”

“Yeah! I called him Cud Baby because of how he chewed.”

“That was Cud Baby? I figured you were calling him that because he liked to cuddle, not because he ate like a bovine. Besides, I never noticed him being a loud grazer—I mean, eater.”

“That’s beside the point. I can’t believe you’re going out with him.”

“What was I supposed to do? Say no? He’s hot, and he asked me!”

“Uh, yeah! Loyalty, Allison. Ever heard of r-e-s-p-e-c-t?”

“Loyalty doesn’t apply to exes, Aretha! And besides, it’s our first date.”

“Mmm-hmm. Should be your last date, too. First date, my foot. You’re damn lucky I’m still doing your hair.”

“Chenille, don’t be like that. You know I wouldn’t let something like this come between us. I never meant to upset you.”

“Upset? I’m not upset. I’m just saying, don’t come crying to me when Garrett turns out to be the same irresponsible trash he was last year.”

“Garrett isn’t trash! He’s a sweetheart.”

“Sweet? Garrett Slawson is about as sweet as a wad of flavorless gum stuck to the bottom of a dirty cowboy boot.”

“Okay, now you’re just being petty.”

“Petty? Girl, you’re the one who insists on recycling my leftovers instead of finding your own man!”

“Recycling? He’s not… ugh, you’re rude and impossible.”

“And you’re undeniably predictable. Hand me that comb.”

“Wait a second—I’m scared now. What are you doing to my hair?”

“Relax. I’m just going to even it out. Your ends are all over the place.”

“No cutting! I mean it.”

“Girl, hush. I’m just doing a teensy bit. You’re gonna thank me. Swear to god.”

“That’s what you said about Macy last summer, remember? I had never seen an Old English Sheep Dog with a poodle cut until then. Your poor dog hasn’t looked the same since. Poor Macy.”

“She looks adorable, no matter what, and you know it. Hold still.”

“Ouch! That pulls!”

“Stop squirming! Beauty is pain, boo. You wanna look good or not? Suck it up for a sec.”

“Not if it means pulling my hair out by the roots! Give me a break, I’m not a troll that can just grow it back, you know.”

“Stop being so dramatic. I’m just fixing the layers.”

“Fixing the—? That’s like six inches! Are you for real?”

“It’s called bold, Allison. You’re welcome. See for yourself.”

“Ah! You call that bold? It looks like Spongebob’s house is on my head. It’s like a golden pineapple!”

“Girl, pineapples are cute. And Garrett’s totally gonna love it.”

“Love what? My uneven hair that appears like an edible centerpiece?”

“Your confidence. Guys like girls who aren’t afraid to stand out.”

“This is not standing out! My parents are gonna flip out, and then, they’ll kill me! Plus, I’m singing a solo in church tomorrow. Am I supposed to sing Under the Sea?”

“Oh, stop. Let me gel it up a little, hit it with some freeze spray. It’ll be edgy.”

“No! Step away from the gel!”

“Fine. Be an ungrateful wench. But you know what? You don’t deserve Garrett.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means he was mine first. And now your hair’s shorter than his, so maybe with competition, he’ll buckle.”

“Chenille, I swear, if you say one more word—”

“What? You gonna fight me? With your bad little bobblehead self?”

“Don’t you dare call me a bobblehead!”

“Then stop acting like one!”

“I’m acting like someone whose best friend just sabotaged her by turning her into a cartoon-under-the-sea house!”

“Sabotage? Please. I totally improved you to stand out in a crowd. You’re welcome.”

“Improved? I look like a kindergarten art project gone horribly wrong!”

“Oh, hush. There’s the doorbell. Garrett’s here. Let’s see what he thinks.”

“No! He can’t see me like this!”

“Too late! I’m answering the door.”

“Don’t you dare! If you do that, I’ll never speak to you again—for real.”

“Watch me. ‘Hi, Garrett! Isn’t Allison’s new look totally fabulous? Does it make you hungry for a teriyaki burger?”

“Chenille, stop! I’ll handle it.”

“Go ahead. But don’t forget to thank me later. I know you’ll want to.”

“For what? Ruining my life?”

“For making it so memorable, boo. Think of how fun it will be to tell your and Garrett’s grandkids one day.”

“Hi, Garrett. Uh… I’m ready for dinner. Are you?”

“Your hair…”

“You like it?”

“…No comment.”

“Allison, I think that’s Garrett’s guy code for, ‘I’m ready for a shish-kabob’.”