Reality is Relative

Something terrible, Tina James knew, had happened because her heart raced, and she could barely breathe, but she couldn’t remember what, the last few hours had blurred in her mind.  

She stared across the counter at the woman in the green uniform and tried to remember how she got here, to this horrible little place, with the blazing lights and the noise. 

“What’s your boy’s name?” The woman in the uniform asked.

“My boy?” Tina blinked, the bright lobby had too many colors and too many sounds. It felt like a nightmare that she couldn't wake up from.

A bright pain in her knee made her look down. 

 A small, beautiful monkey stretched its golden fur arms to climb up the side of the counter at the 7/11 market, kicking its feet at the display of items to gain purchase, missing and kicking her leg again. 

 Long delicate fingers caught on a box of lollipops, and the colorful wrapped balls of candy fell, click-clacking onto the floor, like balloons dropping from a convention ceiling. The freckled clerk stared slack-jawed at the scene.

“I want candy!” The monkey materialized into her son, Tommy, six years old and always climbing, always getting into trouble.  

“Tommy James!” Tina smiled at his wide eyes. “My little monkey.”

The front door of the 7/11 banged open, and a thin young man stepped in, accompanied by a blue-cold wind, slicing through her thin waitress blouse, rippling goosebumps up and down her bare arms.

Something about the frown on his unshaven face looked familiar, along with his dark hooded eyes; had she met him before? 

She couldn’t look away, drawn to him like a magnet as he stepped to the back in quick steps, picked up a case of beer and then walked to the front to stand next to her, headphones wrapped around his greasy hair. 

 Trouble drifted off the man in waves, she could smell it on him, the stench of an unwashed body and broken promises. As if plugged into an electric current, the man buzzed, hands in constant motion, first pulling on his cartoon turtle tee-shirt, adjusting his jeans, then rubbing the thin mustache on his face.

He turned at her stare, red bloodshot eyes catching her own before dirt filled fingernails reached up to adjust his black headphones. The volume increased, the heavy bass line and rap pumping out a tinny soundtrack of anger.

“$18.07.” The clerk said. “How do you want to pay for the bill?” She pointed to a receipt. 

She didn't look too much older than Tommy, with flat brown hair and long bangs, freckles splattered across her face.

Below her, Tommy launched himself in one more attempt. In his favorite jeans and cartoon tee-shirt he got one, then both elbows on the counter to smile at the clerk.

“I want Sour Patch kids!” He shouted before he fell, a display of lottery tickets followed him down, the cards unspooling.  

“Isn’t he such a great climber! “ Tina smiled at the boy, picking up the display and putting it back upside down.

“We’ll get the sour patch candies too.” Tina said as she leaned down to Tommy. “Pick a winning ticket!”

 Tommy pulled a ticket off and handed it up.

 Tina slid the lottery ticket toward the clerk, adding it to the small pile of groceries. Maybe today her luck will change.

 “OK, just a few more minutes, Tommy, why don’t you play on your device.”

Tommy narrowed his eyes, shrugged his shoulders, then pulled a phone from his pocket, turning and twisting along with the small cartoon character on the screen.

 Tina had just picked up Tommy from Sister Antonio at the church daycare, and already struggled to keep up with his energy, his need for her attention. She had too much else to focus on, so she gave him what he wanted, toys, video games, and candy. He deserved to be happy, even if she couldn’t. Because she knew his happiness was the only thing that mattered. 

She could close her eyes and fall asleep right there, standing up. She didn’t have anything left to give to him. Not today, not after another long shift, and the hours spent getting her small business up and running. She realized that somewhere she had made a wrong turn, her life had become a nightmare of terrible jobs and bad luck. Tommy could help her, she hoped. Once he grew up, a little.

Soon she’d wake up into her real life, where Tommy was older, useful , her parents still spoke to her, and she wasn’t always so tired. 

Next to her Tommy had gone still, leaning against the counter with only shallow breaths. Burned out from too much candy, Tina knew. 

“Smell this pretty scent!” She offered Tommy some perfume she had just bought, placing it in his nose and then pressing the button. 

Tommy squirmed away, bouncing again next to her. “That’s gross!” He said, eyes flicking open as his little chest heaved inhaling again..

He smelled of little boy sweat and spoiled milk. Licking her thumb, she wiped dirt off his cheek, then licked her thumb again to get one last bit of dirt, and grinned at the taste of Tommy, sugary sweet.

 She shifted her weight to get her purse off her shoulder and her knee screamed, swollen from standing all day in her tight black dress shoes. She winced, pulling out a green leather bill fold.

She opened her wallet to see the yawning chasm, gasping in hunger, never with enough in it.

 She pulled out the rent money, carefully folded and clipped together, money that she had scraped for, starved for, to see what remained. A twenty and three singles stood sad and lonely. She pulled out the twenty to pay for the groceries and candy. Only three singles and a bag of groceries to get through a long week until the next payday.

A loose quarter at the bottom of her wallet called to her. “Maybe todays the day…”

With the quarter, Tina scratched at the Lottery ticket, hope flitting around her like small bluebirds, chirping at the possibility of life-changing riches. 

“Please land on me today!” Tina whispered. Bits of dust curled up as she uncovered her treasure. 

 She needed to match three in a row.

“One $20,000, there’s two, and three.” Tina stopped breathing at the sight; three matches!

 “I won, I won!” Tina shouted. 

 “What did you win? ” The clerk asked, both hands up at her shoulders, signaling a touchdown, a winning score. 

She slammed a red button on the wall, and then all at once, a ringing siren went off, and a disco ball dropped from the ceiling, spinning red, blue and silver lights around the store. Balloons, in all the colors of the rainbow, fell from the ceiling on Tina. 

She looked again at the ticket, her winning number circled at the bottom, $20,000! 

With that much money she could afford a car, move out of their crappy apartment, buy more inventory ! Her body lifted, the stress of her debt, of never having enough disappeared. She took a deep breath for the first time in years.

 Bang! The front door of the 7/11 flew open. A man with a large video camera stormed in, followed by Anderson Cooper, his bright white smile glittering just like it did on TV.

“Congratulations!” Anderson shoved a microphone in her face, the camera just feet away. “Tell us, Tina, what’s it like to be a winner?” 

 His hair glowed white as snow, and his eyes, looking right at her, were as deep and blue as the ocean.

“Tommy, he picked the ticket!” Tina picked up the young boy, spinning around, his body weightless. Tommy threw his head back, his hands clapping; he laughed in pure joy. “I love you Mommy!” 

“Who’s the big winner?” Tina cried out. “You know who!” Pointing to Anderson Cooper. “It’s Tommy!” Then she turned to the clerk. “Who’s the big winner? You know who! You know-”

“-No.” The Clerk said again, the disco ball lights, news crew and confetti fading into the harsh light of the store.

“No, this is not a winning ticket.” The clerk tilted her head at Tina. 

“Are you OK?” 

 Tina felt the weight of reality land on her, her breath caught, and her feet hurt. Tina’s could-have-been-fortune gone in a snap. She reached for the bag of groceries when someone too close next to her, interrupted her thoughts.

 The man put his hand on her arm. “We have some questions for you, maybe you should come with me-”

 “No!” Tina shouted. He wanted to steal her purse, with her and Tommy’s money! She grabbed at the strap, wrapped across her body like she always wore it, to keep it secure, to keep it safe.

The man’s eyes, dead black stones, didn’t look up. A glint on a blade, a pull on the strap, and then her purse is gone. 

The white bottoms of his sneakers are all she sees as he begins to run. 

Her mouth open in shock, she takes a step to follow, kicking the spilled lollipops at her feet, and she stumbles, the door stretches out away from her. She needs to get her purse back.

“Thief! He stole my purse!” She screamed, launching herself up, fear and panic fueling her. 

Through the window she still sees his tee-shirt in the parking lot. He hasn’t got to the intersection yet, she can still get him!

She crashed through the front door following him. Flying across the blacktop, Tina ran like Florence Griffith Joyner, light and fast, her feet not even touching the ground.

The thief sprinted through a red light, dodging honking cars as he disappeared up the long street. Tina followed off the curb, but a screaming car horn stopped her. She turned to see red and blue lights flashing, the huge vertical chrome grill of an ambulance on top of her, a mouth opening to eat her.

Tina closed her eyes, letting herself go, in death at least she could finally rest. Better her than Tommy. The squeal of brakes, the smell of burnt rubber, and she opened her eyes to look at the ambulance stopped inches from her face. 

Tommy’s firm grip pulled her back to the curb, to safety. A teenager now, impossibly tall, impossibly strong. “I’ll get your purse back Mom!”

Tommy leapt up, jumping onto the hood of one car, to another, then a truck before vaulting back onto the other sidewalk. Tina watched him sprint until he hurled himself through the air and into a flying tackle, wrestling the thief to the ground. He stood up with both hands lifting the purse in victory!

 “Here, Mom! Here!” Tommy said, joy erupting off his face.

Tina looked over to the clerk holding up her purse. “Here, Ma’am. Here.” She said, her freckled face staring back. "It fell. So, are you going to pay for that now,or?”

 Tina shifted to one foot, off balance. God she was tired. 

 She looked in her wallet again, “but I gave you a 20?” She remembered handing it over.

 “For that?”

 The clerk pointed to a receipt on the counter, the numbers on the white paper kept going, all the way down to the number at the bottom, circled. $20,000. 

“I don’t understand,” Tina said, blinking, against the bright lights, waving to the items on the counter. “It’s just milk and eggs.” Tina noticed the man’s items next to her own. “And I paid for the beer and cigarettes, too.” She shrugged.

 The clerk shook her head. “This is the medical receipt. Give it to your insurance.” The clerk paused. “Do you have insurance?”

 “Insurance?” Tina whispered, and then she looked closer at the Clerk.

 She wasn’t a clerk, this young woman wore the green scrubs of a nurse. Tina looked around, seeing clearly. Not in a 7/11, she stood in a busy hospital. A policeman stood next to her with his hands on hips, his white-gray hair slicked back. 

Everything came back, the Narcan injection, the ambulance, and the overdose.

Oh god.

“Where’s Tommy!” Tina screamed.

 “Room 1807, like I said.” The nurse held up the receipt. “ You’ll need this!”

 Tina pushed past the officer, doctors in white coats and more nurses to enter room 1807.

She found the teenage boy, a frown on his dirty face, stirring in the hospital bed restless

 “Tommy!” Tina said. “Thank goodness, you’re OK!”

 “Mom.” Tommy spit out the word, his cartoon turtle tee-shirt damp with sweet.  

 “Damn, I’m in trouble.” He pulled his head off the pillow. “ I stil have the medicine on me. God my head hurts” He rubbed his face.

"I told you not to use he medicine..." Tina said. "Give me what you have and I'll take care of it, this time. But I'm worried about you-"

 “Here.” Tommy pulled from his pocket several tightly wrapped balloons, just like colorful balls of candy, and dropped them in Tina’s open hands. 

“And-” He grunted as he pulled something out of his back pocket. 

He added a fat roll of bills, carefully folded and clipped together.  

“I'm sorry Mom-” Tommy stretched his hand out to grip Tina’s arm, long thin fingers with dirt filled fingernails.

Tina smiled at the light golden fur on his arms. “Anything for you, my little monkey. Will it make you happy? “

Tommy fell back, with a thin grimace. “Ya Mom. Happy.”

“Poor Tommy.” Tina rubbed his forehead while she offered a small pill from her purse. “Here is something to help you sleep.” 

 Tina walked out, turning to the Nurse. 

 “I’m going to run an errand for him.” Tina nodded. “Tommy will be OK. Soon he’ll be happy again.” 

                         Tina stepped into the church basement, and asked a woman dressed all in black for Sister Antonio. 

The dark, wood paneled room had bright colored crayon drawings pinned on the wall, and a rainbow carpet on the floor.  

“How’s Tommy!” Sister Antonio asked as she stepped into the daycare. The old woman’s dark brown eyes were soft and gentle underneath her black habit. She reached out to hold one of Tina’s hands in both of hers.  

“He’s sick.” Tina said, her head shaking back and forth. “I'm not sure he’s going to make it. How are the other kids? Any potentials…”

Sister Antonio dropped Tina’s hand. Her eyes turned dark, as she lifted up her narrow jaw and gritted her teeth. “I don’t know of any kids.”

Tina pulled out the roll of bills, she thumbed the edge before offering it up.

Sister Antonio sighed, her face fell into a frown. “Your business must be good. “ She reached out for the roll of bills, and it quickly disappeared into her black robes. “Last time you said he was the last one-"

Tina’s gaze never wavered.  

“A new boy came in this week, his parents died in a car crash.” Sister Antonio said, snapping her fingers twice at another Sister. “Get Little Chris. “

She nodded before stepping through a narrow door.   

“Does he like to climb?” Tina asked.

The Sister walked in holding the hands of a small boy with thick black hair. He wore a too tight polo shirt over loose jeans.  

“Not climbing.” Sister Antonio shook her head. “Chris likes to read though?”

"Perfect, I need one with a little less energy." Tina put her hands on her knees as she leaned down. 

“Hello Tommy James, my little bookworm! Do you like candy? How would you like to come home with me?”