I finished my assignment for my science lesson. College was seriously pushing my limits; there was only so much of school I could take. It'd always been that way. I glared at the time, 3:21am. New Years was right around the corner, yet I hadn't thought of a New Years resolution. I took the time as a sign that I had worked hard enough and dragged myself from my desk to my bed. I slumped down and flopped on my face in a daze, thinking about what could possibly benefit me from a New Years resolution.
I woke up later than usual. The time showed 9:40am. College had started an hour ago, however I was unfazed. My teachers didn't seem to mind either. I sauntered to the kitchen still half asleep and poured the remaining cereal from the box into a bowl. For some odd reason, I couldn't seem to understand why a New Years resolution was so appealing to my brain. It's not like people actually follow through with them right? In an attempt to disregard the thought, I devoured my cereal and threw on the first thing I could find. I hastily rushed into class without causing a disruption and got to work on my task. That was when my eye caught a glimpse of him.
I had known him for as long as I could remember, yet he had no clue who I was. The sight of him made me so happy, it was like I was put on this earth simply to admire him. He was my only desire. Though nothing was perfect. That whore. She was just like every other girl in this world, but me? I wasn't. I knew I was right for him and nobody else was. Why was he interested in her? What does he see in her? I'm just as pretty. I'm better. I'm better. I'm better. I'm-
"BELLA!" Yelled my teacher. I soon realised I was lost in thought when my teacher asked me a question.
"Well? What's the answer?" He asked.
"I-I'm sorry. I wasn't listening." I blurted out in a panic.
"Engage Bella. This isn't a joke."
I knew it wasn't a joke. I tried my best to focus. But I couldn't. Not with her in the same room as me.
I recovered from the embarrassment of earlier. I was slumped across my desk, just thinking. I then realised I had thought of a New Years resolution. It was the brightest idea I had ever had, but it would need preparation. I would have to do it within the next two days. If I wanted a good 2022, I would have to do this, to ensure a good 2022. It was settled.
This would be the first day of preparation. I was going to miss school. I started by manoeuvring to the cleaning cupboard. I was looking for something that could clean. Clean good. I remembered my grandma teaching me the basic cleaning techniques. 'Depending on the stage of bacteria, a good product to start off with is typically bleach.' This particular amount of bacteria would be especially extreme. Especially. I grabbed the first bottle of bleach I could find, unsure if it would do the job. Next? I needed to get some new clothes. I've been wanting new clothes for a while and I think this is a good enough excuse. I went out, money in my pocket. I bought a nice new outfit, black always has been my favourite colour. I happily skipped back to my room, frolicked if you will. Lastly, I needed to build up a friendship. I needed to build trust, and in a very short amount of time. I could easily pull it off. I knew I could. Not only am I persuasive and sociable, but there was the perfect opportunity to build this trust tonight. A party. This was my time to finally shine and show people I'm not a weird girl in the back of the class.
I showed up to this pathetic party looking like a goddess. I knew it and so did everybody else as I felt their eyes on me. It was ridden with drunk teenagers and horrid music. Nobody spoke to me, but I knew they wanted to. I felt stunning. I strut around the party looking for my target. I tracked her down and beelined toward her. We talked all night. Nonstop. She was genuine and happy, she truly felt like she'd made a new friend. It was hilarious. Before I left the party, I asked if she wanted to do something after school. She eagerly agreed like a hungry puppy. She was so thrilled to be around me. She was nothing to me. I hated her. I gave her a fake smile and exchanged my number with hers.
Waking up the next morning, I was exhilarated. I put on my best outfit and posed in the mirror confidently. Today was the big day. My New Years resolution will be done by tonight. My life will be complete by tonight. I threw my bag on my shoulder and danced down the hallway to my lesson. In class, I felt him staring at me. I couldn't do anything but smile. My eyes wandered to his. We made straight eye contact for 5 single seconds. I felt as though he finally saw the real me. He finally noticed my existence! Yet, there was still a huge blockade that had to be rid of. Her.
After lunch, I had one last period. Before I could get up to go to my next lesson, my phone pinged from within my jean pocket. It was my new 'friend'. Annoying bitch.
'Hey, want to ditch last period and go somewhere?' The message read. No, no, no. It's too soon. What do I do? I can't do it now. People will wonder where she is. They'll find her. No. I can't, not yet. I needed an excuse.
'No sorry, important test in last period. Meet in the courtyard after school?' I replied. Hoping, praying that was a good enough excuse. I distracted myself by walking to my lesson. I felt my fists clench. I was too tense. I walked with such force, my shoes made loud clicks as I stepped. My hair was flapping in my face, limiting my vision. I felt my skin heat up with rage.
It'd been 5 minutes and no response. What if she sees right through my plan? She wasn't in this lesson. I assumed she was skipping without me. My heart was beating so abnormally, I felt as though people could hear it. That was when he looked at me. I looked at him back. He gave me a smile as if to say, 'You're gorgeous.' I smiled back at him, butterflies fluttering around in my stomach, making me feel sick.
I eagerly reached into my pocket and grabbed my phone. It was my 'friend'.
'Ok! That's fine by me :)' The text said. I let out a small snigger. She's so dumb. How did she believe that? What kind of lesson would be doing a test in the middle of a term? I shoved my phone back into my pocket with a wide smirk on my face.
School was over, and I had to meet my 'friend' in the courtyard. I had to change into my new outfit, for this special occasion. I left her waiting for 10 minutes, just to play a cruel little game with her. Before I left my room, I wandered off to my kitchen, snooping through my knife collection and picked up the prettiest, sharpest one. No reason in particular. I showed up at out designated meet-up-point.
"Let's go to my room for a while," she suggested. 'Perfect,' I thought. She didn't even question my strangely black outfit, with complimentary gloves. She showed me to the door of her room and I took a step in. It was basic, but that's what was nice about it.
"I'm going to get changed, so don't come in here." She demanded. I nodded. Nothing more. She stepped into to the bathroom. I was expecting to hear the lock turn, but nothing. I giggled. Silly of her. I slowly opened the door to be greeted by her back. She was facing the other way.
"What did I tell you? Don't come in here?" She squealed.
"You're so pathetic." I spat.
"You're nothing more than a basic, stupid, annoying and problematic loser that nobody likes and nobody will ever like." I said maniacally. She started to shake like a leaf.
"Aww but it's ok. I'm going to help you." I pouted sarcastically.
"I think you should know what happens to silly girls that mess with another person's love. He's mine, you know it, he knows it and we all know he hates you." I started to move closer and closer to her. So close my breath was against her neck. I could hear her little heart beat faster than a mouse's. It made me laugh.
"This, Amelia. Is why you don't mess with me or my love." I said, I was against her back now.
"Happy New Years!" I giggled whilst pulling the knife from my back pocket.
I sat up straight in my bed. I look from left to right. I shot my eyes to my phone, '6:30am 1st January 2022'
'Woah' I whispered. A dream? I sigh. I realise what must've happened. I reach to the meds on my beside table, 'Forgot about these again.' I thought, completely disregarding the bloody knife in the bin, under my desk.