15 comments

Contemporary Fiction Sad

Andrew's touch was firm and a little rough, just how she liked it. Anna wrapped her arms around his neck as he pulled her close, and they kissed passionately. They both knew they didn't have much time. The subtle aroma of his aftershave mingled with the crisp, clinical scent of disinfectants in the on-call room. Her fingers traced a path down his neck, light but confident. Andrew paused for a moment, looking into her eyes. She pulled him back in, not in the mood for drawn-out looks. Anna was eager to get down to the nitty-gritty.

Then her phone rang, cutting through the gloom of the room. Anna paused, her lips tightening in irritation. She let out a sigh, stepped back and pulled out her phone.

"Oh, damn," she muttered before answering.

"Doctor, we're waiting for you," said the nurse on the other end, sounding a bit tired. "The police brought in a homeless guy. They say he fell down the stairs, the ones by the memorial, you know? And yeah, he reeks of booze.”

“Go on and save your bum,” Andrew said with a smile.

“I’ll be back,” Аnna whispered, giving him a quick kiss before heading out of the room and towards the elevator.

Once she was inside, she caught sight of herself in the mirror: in her early thirties, with flushed cheeks, and a chestnut strand slipping loose from a ponytail. She tucked it back and gave her reflection a little smirk. If it weren’t for some drunk, she wouldn’t have had to leave the arms of her stupidly hot OB-GYN.


When the elevator doors opened, Anna made her way straight to the exam room, where her new patient was sitting on the edge of the table, swaying a little. She barely hid her irritation as she looked him over. A man was maybe sixty, though probably much younger - with guys like this, it was always hard to tell. His skin was a sickly gray, smeared with grime, and the stench coming off him was enough to make anyone gag. Cigarette smoke, sweat, booze – a cocktail even the toughest doctors would struggle to ignore. The man squinted up at her and managed a grin, showing teeth stained yellow from years of tobacco.

"What's your name?" she asked him abruptly, foregoing any kind of greeting.

“Oh, here comes another hen!” he sneered, a laughing harshly as he spat on the floor. “They call me John Doe*. You look familiar… Have we met before?”

Anna rolled her eyes, and went on speaking, ignoring his question.

"Are you in pain?" she cut in.

"Too posh to speak politely to guys like me, huh, sweetheart? Everything fckin' hurts! Head, body, the whole damn thing." Then, his smile disappeared and his face showed pain. He grimaced, muttering, “Head’s splitting…”

“No fractures, no major injuries… These drunks are really quite lucky. A normal person would be dead by now, but him? Just scrapes and bruises,” the nurse noted thoughtfully.

“Oh god, the smell… I’ll step out. Give me a call if you need me,” Anna said to the nurse, wrinkling her nose.

She barely made it a few steps when the man coughed, doubled over, and vomited onto the floor, a foul puddle spreading at his feet. Anna closed her eyes briefly, taking a slow breath to steady herself.

 “Get him a bucket, will you? And take him to the back room till the orderlies show up. Have them clean him up before I come back to check on him,” she instructed the nurse.

The nurse, completely unfazed, handed him the bucket with a look that said she couldn't care less.

“At least one of you knows how to work,” he rasped, wiping his mouth and enjoying the banter.

“Maybe we should get his head scanned, since it’s splitting and all,” the nurse quipped, barely glancing his way.

“Let’s wait till the orderlies scrub him down,” Anna cut in. “If he’s still swearing, he's doing just fine."

The man looked at them with glassy eyes, as if he was about to say something else, but another fit of coughing turned into a fresh round of vomiting.


Annaʼs phone buzzed in her pocket, providing a welcome distraction. The screen showed “Andrew happy end”. A small smile tugged at her lips as she stepped out of the exam room to read the message.


Andrew happy end:

Where u at? Come back, I forgive u 😜


Anna glanced around, making sure no one was watching, and quickly typed back.


Anna:

Finishing up w this bum, then heading over. Might need a shower first tho x


The reply came almost instantly.


Andrew happy end:

That bad, huh? 😏


Anna:

Worse. Don’t fall asleep on me.


Andrew happy end:

No promises, babe x


Anna chuckled, slipping the phone back into her pocket, already looking forward to whatever the night might bring. But then, a rough cough echoed from behind the exam room door, followed by the heavy thud of a fall.

“Doctor, he’s seizing!” the nurse’s shout rang out.

Anna sprinted back into the room. The homeless guy was on the floor, his body thrashing, foam bubbling at the corners of his mouth. Without missing a beat, Anna barked orders at the nurse.

“Textbook case, he’s drunk himself into seizures. Get him midazolam, roll him on his side, and keep an eye on him until he calms down."

Anna called the orderlies' number, but there was no answer. "Where are you guys?" she thought, watching as man’s body slowly relaxed under the medication. Pulling on a pair of gloves, she had a feeling in her gut that this was only the beginning.

She was right. A second later, the man stopped breathing. The nurse barely hit the “Code Blue” button before Anna was over him, moving on instinct. She grabbed the scissors and cut through his old clothes. As the fabric fell away, she froze.

There, on his left side, was an old tattoo of a sailor hugging a girl. Memories surged back, painful and clear. The same tattoo, in the same spot – just like her father's. The father who'd disappeared without a trace eighteen years ago.



*John Doe is a fake name used for an unknown or unidentified person.


October 10, 2024 12:29

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15 comments

Jules D'Arcy
14:15 Oct 15, 2024

Interesting and engaging

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Stasia Komadinko
15:38 Oct 15, 2024

Thank you)

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08:29 Oct 15, 2024

What a twist. He was her father! Did he get revived?

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Stasia Komadinko
09:21 Oct 15, 2024

Thank you so much for reading! I’m still not quite sure if he’s really her father or if he’ll even be revived))

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James Scott
22:31 Oct 13, 2024

Enjoyed this and wanted it to continue! Did she save him? A good place to stop and leave things unsaid though. The characters in this all felt very real in their actions and I could see it all clearly. Great work.

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Stasia Komadinko
09:16 Oct 14, 2024

Thanks so much for reading! I’m really glad the characters felt real — that’s always the part I struggle with the most and spend the most time on. Honestly, I’m not even sure myself if the homeless man survives or if he’s really her father… Maybe it’s best left as a mystery!

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Tawana Burgan
00:43 Nov 05, 2024

I love a story with a twist at the end!! Honestly, I was so upset with her at the beginning, but she redeemed herself by how fast she reacted when needed. I have worked ER, I have seen these patients and your description was spot on. I have also worked with this kind of doctor and nurse so I really can relate to them. I liked the little messaging back and forth. I really am loving all your stories and your writing style. As I said in another review, you make the characters come off the page. Their emotions, their facial expressions, e...

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Stasia Komadinko
07:52 Nov 05, 2024

Thank you for such warm feedback! I’m very glad you enjoy my stories. I also worked in emergency medicine, which has influenced my writing ;))

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Susan O'REILLY
15:44 Oct 17, 2024

wanted to know if it was him gr8 story much enjoyed sláinte x

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Susan O'REILLY
15:28 Oct 17, 2024

great read and I wanted to know who he was sláinte

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Stasia Komadinko
16:32 Oct 17, 2024

Thank you!)) I’m not sure if he’s really her father or if they just have the same tattoo)

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Alexis Araneta
08:00 Oct 16, 2024

Wow, Stasia !!! This one truly kept me hooked. I was wondering where it will end. Certainly, didn't expect that. Stunning work !

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Stasia Komadinko
08:16 Oct 16, 2024

Thank you very much, Alexis))

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Kate Winchester
17:10 Oct 15, 2024

I liked the pace of your story. It kept me engaged. I also liked the twist at the end. Great job!

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Stasia Komadinko
17:13 Oct 15, 2024

Thank you for reading my story and for your feedback)

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