I have a choice here

I have a choice here.

They even dared me to do it, I know it's still my choice though.

Freedom does come at a price, but is it worth it?

Heck, yeah! Being able to go wherever you want, a peaceful place better than my home, is definitely something I would never say no .

Yup, I decided.

It wasn't a hard choice.

I gave one last look at them, didn't care to say bye, put on my slippers and mask and ran out into the world.

I looked back. No one was following me! Yay! I walked faster, and covered quite a safe distance. Looked back again, still no one.

They didn't care about me, yes, I never did ask them to.

I took a left turn into a long road, which I knew would lead me to the beach. It's a long way, but ultimately I planned to go there.

As I was walking, I looked into people's faces. I am starting a new life, I have the freedom to talk to any of them, I can go anywhere I want, sit wherever I wanted to.

I sat on a pillar like thing, and looked around. I saw a police officer in a bike. I quickly got up and started walking. I didn't want to be caught.

I began to think whether they would worry about me. Will they cry because I am gone? I don't want them to. But I won't go back either.

What would I do for food? I had no idea. But I still kept going, I thought she would lead me somewhere. I am sure she wouldn't let me die like that, All my life these sixteen years would be meaningless if I die now.

I walked past the river. I had a small thought of jumping in it, but I buried it. I walked further, this time it was a graveyard. The doors were open and a bike was parked, so I assumed people were inside, so it isn't the place for me, I found a public toilet nearby, and I thought of using it. From now, I am gonna need to use these things.

I slowly opened the door. It was stinky, yikes. There was no water in the tap, and the whole thing was completely unhygienic. I closed my nose and came out in a few seconds. I wiped my hand in a lamp post, I felt disgusted.

I started walking again. My path was covered in green, a lot of trees, so beautiful to see. I walked past a neem tree, jumped above and grabbed a handful of leaves.

There was a junction here. If I go right, I know what holds for me, a familiar temple which leads to highways. But I had a feeling that she wanted me to go straight, so I continued my path.

I found a broken wall both sides, I went close to one, it had glass pieces on it, and the other side of it was filled with trees and plastic bags. I looked again, the glass pieces, I couldn't sit there, so I walked to the other wall.

This one was perfect, no glass pieces, and was quite comfortable to sit. I sat there and looked at the road. An old

man with a little girl were walking through the trees. He explained her about the trees, and soon the disappeared from my sight.

I suddenly got an idea. Neem leaves are edible, I know for a fact. That was the only edible thing accessible near me. My survival instinct helped me overcome my inertia of rest. I went back, which I never thought I would.

I collected a lot of neem leaves and put them as much as I could in both of my pockets.

"I wonder what you got for me ahead," I looked at the long road that promised a brand new life, endless possibilities and peace.

Peace, it's what the whole world is looking for, right? And I felt the most peace in my life. My parents who yelled me and made everyday at home seem like hell, were no longer with me.

I left them, I did abandon them, but I had a valid reason. It's my choice, who could question? I have my legs to carry me around the world, I had my hands to write short stories.

No longer can they scold me for writing stories. I will write again. I am sure she will lead me to somewhere I can. I trust her, I trust life.

*****

My mother, she was the one I thought most about. She did love me, like all mothers do. Now sitting here, I am writing this, I have been thinking so much. How could I just abandon my sister like that?

She didn't do anything wrong, and I am sure she would have been so sad if I never came back.

I always thought it was so easy for me to move on. But, it isn't. I can stop talking to people, but can't stop the thoughts about them that pop up randomly now and then.

I have told them a lot, "Just because you are the parent, doesn't mean you are always right." I even gave an example of my mother's life. When she was sixteen something, her parents wanted her to marry and stop her education. She rebelled and cried for a week.

And finally she convinced them to let her study. She studied in a university, and got a good job, a good life. And if she accepted what her parents told, not only her life would have turned bad, but her sisters' too. Because she studied, they too got a chance to study, otherwise they would have met a bad fate too.

And my mom regretted saying this to me after I started using this as an example. Well, now I realise, I was so keen on pointing them wrong, that I didn't notice, that I was wrong too.

I could have handled the situation much better, instead of just yelling at them back out of anger. I know their method was worse, like saying the same shit until the child listens it. It's just super annoying, they don't get it.

But I can't change their methods, but I could have changed mine. I was wrong at many places. I tried to betray them by leaving them. Everything they did for me, the dreams they had when they paid my fees for school, I betrayed everything. I was selfish, I just cared about myself, my happiness, which was so wrong.

I couldn't change these things by thinking about it, but I am sure my life story could help someone somewhere, and my life isn't over yet. I can still learn from my mistakes and be a better person. I am sure, I will try my best. I hope you will too.

Good luck to the person who's reading this. You have my best wishes for a happy life with your family and friends. Be happy that you have people to care about you.

"He understood what they meant to him only when they weren’t with him anymore."

*********