Lost and found, I call the clouds.

When I was little I would gaze upon the clouds every night with my mom. She would cover me with a blanket so I wouldn’t get cold. But there was never any cover left for her. One day I realized that her nose was red and her face was turning pale. I ran in the house to get her a cover. When I came back she was laying on the ground peacefully. I figured she had been sleeping so I laid the cover over her and we fell asleep under the gray shape making clouds. 

When I woke up mom was still asleep. I tried to wake her up but she wouldn’t budge. I cried and rushed in the house realizing mom hadn't been asleep. I called 911 telling them my mom was dead. Quickly they rushed over and put her in an ambulance. They started questioning me. I froze up… My vision slowly went away and I couldn’t breathe. That’s when everything went black. I was never good under pressure.

When I woke up I was in the hospital. I got up and ran to whoever I could find. She asked me my name. I said my name is Alex. She said “ That’s a beautiful name. Hi,my name is Dr.Robinson”. She asked what had happened. She made me feel safe so I told her. She asked if I had anyone to call. I said it was only me and my mom. I had no friends and neither did she. She looked at my birth records and she found a number that belonged to a man. 

She introduced me and said “ Alex this is your father” . I hugged him tight and I cried. Dr.Robinson explained what all that had happened so I didn’t have to suffer the pain of telling the story again. I told him all about me and told him how much me and mom liked looking at the clouds at night. He also loved the clouds. He told me so many fun facts about clouds. Like Thunderstorm clouds can be green and no one knows why . Extraterrestrial clouds are rarely made of H20. The clouds are heavy. Some things I never knew about. He said he was a scientist. That’s how he knows so much. 

Quickly my dreams changed from floating on clouds to being a scientist. Knowing so many cool things about clouds and many other things. Like counting how many people are in the world. Knowing what dinosaurs did millions of years ago. Dr. Robinson grabbed my hand and told me my mom was extremely sick. From a smile to a frown I burst into tears. Then I realized there was a very important question I had to ask my father. So I asked him...

Why were you never involved in my life? I asked. Why did you leave. Why did mom refuse to speak of you, what did you do to her? He almost slipped a tear. 

She didn't want me to have full custody of you. He said. I was confused. So I said” that doesn't make sense why would you have custody of me?”. Your mom wanted to use you as a science experiment. When you were born she saw your beautiful green eyes and decided not to go through with her plan. She didn't want me to tell you this story. I tried everything to come see you. But she would shut the door in my face. I would hear your sweet little voice asking who it was and she would say” it was the delivery man., he had the wrong address”.  

I stood there in disbelief. Then I shouted and said “my mom is a nice caring woman she would never do something like that”. He said she is a caring woman but when it comes to science nothing is off limits. I met her in a lab and I thought the exact same thing. She’s a monster Alex. I still love her despite everything she has done. But I won’t let you live this way. I will be fighting for part time custody of you. 

I stood there shaking. Remember when I said I wasn’t good under pressure? Well I fainted again… Leading into a concussion since I had hit my head on concrete. I didn’t just suffer from a concussion though. I was also slowly getting sick. And soon I had a feeling something bad was going to happen. 

I hadn't eaten all day which also caused my fainting. But I didn’t know what caused me to have this feeling. I wasn’t able to talk which is why I couldn’t get help. That’s when I found out. As they were inserting IV into my arm I started to have a stroke. 

Strokes cause Lock down syndrome. I felt my muscles tightening up. A few hours after my stroke Dr.Hank came in and diagnosed me with locked down syndrome. I rolled my eyes and he asked if I had already known. I moved my eyes up and down signaling him. Trying to say yes. He could understand me perfectly and so he giggled. 

He told my father that I was a very smart child… And for years I sat there in lock down with only my father by my side. Because once my mom got better (which my father helped with) she found out that my dad told me the truth and she ran off to go get a new identity. And I love my father very much. And what he doesn’t know is that for his birthday I’m getting a communication device that I had my doctor order. I’m going to finally be able to communicate and talk to my dad again. 

 Till this day I still like looking up at the clouds every night…

My dad has people bring me up to the roof to look at the clouds. And every time he tells me something different about clouds. Sometimes its not even about clouds.

Dr. Hank Dr. Robinson and my dad had to be the most important people to me. I still love my mom dearly don't get me wrong. But all I'm saying is who knows what she will do next. My dad was right she was a complete monster. I'm a girl named Alex I have been diagnosed with lock down syndrome and this is my story.