4 comments

Black Crime Drama

Deception, abuse, pain and trauma are all the shuttering words a family can be defined by. When a family turns away from what it's supposed to ideally be, where does one run to?, what does one do when the very four walls of their home become their own haunted house?

A sunny morning, as beautiful as Sally has just begun and she's ready to wear the mask of deceit she has worn her whole life. she wears it proudly and strolls to law school. A very ambitious and bright young lady just taking on the world a day at a time. This was the best time for sally as she got to leave her home and parents. She kisses her little sister Angel goodbye and skips away out of the door with so much radiance.

On average Sally was pretty social and had many friends but mostly spent her time with her sorority girls. One casual day, Sally and her girls are hanging out and one of her insensitive friends Monique turns to the group and says" I have never met a girl as shallow as Sally" and then rolls her eyes after. Sally in that moment has a melt down and takes a knife from the drawers and points it towards Monique and threatens to slice her throat off if she did not retract her statement. Monique adamantly retracts her statement in fear for her life. That was just the beginning of the spiral doom of Sally's social life. She continued to have many episodes like this until eventually she is left with no friends except her self.

Evening draws closer and Sally can not breath because she realizes it is time to head back home. what was an exciting time for all other girls is a night mare to her. She steps into her home's grounds and already she hears yelling from the house. It was her father bluntly yelling at her mother " you disgusting and ugly woman!" he yells. Immediately she knows nothing good could come from this godforsaken evening. She however puts on her brave face and walks through the door and she immediately notices her little sister in a corner, her face clustered with tears and marked by fear. She turns to the other room and her father is pounding heavily on her poor mother's face. She runs and intercepts the two but sadly one of her father's blows welcomes her too. He hits her so hard she collapses to the ground and by the time she regains consciousness, her father is gone and her mother is laying hopelessly on the floor with a bloody eye and red an horrid looking marks on her back. The two women sit in silence and helplessly stare into each other's eyes. The night draws to a close and they all retire to bed.

The very next morning, her mother is all dolled up. An art she had learnt over the years. She is smiling at the kitchen table signaling her to join her family for break fast. Sally too is dressed up in a long sleeved black tube top and she looks gorgeous but underneath the top lies the truth that had been concealed for many years. Her father was an abusive man, incapable of love but very powerful and wealthy and thus had such a hold on society and his family. As usual, Sally kisses Angel goodbye but this time whispers "be strong kid" and she walks out the door off to have her usual sunny day of feigning happiness.

She gets to school, walks up to her sorority group who welcome her with sullen faces as they are still bitter about her acts from the previous day. She proceeds never the less and walks passed them and into her lecture theatre and the lesson of the day is " Domestic violence" and immediately she is triggered by it but still listens attentively. Her lecturer emphasizes the fact that one could always walk away from domestic violence, could report it but most importantly could get help. As the day phases by, those words linger through her head and she begins to read up on the matter and that was the turning point for her! The point she became a different woman even though she had not known it at the time. Evening dawns and once again the shivers fill her body and she quavers at the thought of heading back home. However, as always she wears her brave face and walks through her home and shockingly it is a quiet night but she immediately realizes that her father was not home yet. A sense of relief feels her whole body and her home in a long time felt like a home again. Filled with love and calm. something she had never known before. This moment of bliss did not last long because before they knew it, they hear a strong bang outside and immediately realize that he was back home. They busy them selves with dinner and ignore his attempts to pick a fight or even pounce on them. However even that had never been enough for him and before long, he once again hits her mother and she falls to the ground. Sally mentally decides that enough was enough and takes out her phone and makes a video of the hullaballoo . Her father kicks, slaps, punches and knocks her mother out. She cries while recording the ordeal. Her sister Angel attempts to intercept the act but this time, not even her innocent face could save her. He lifts her up and warns her to stay out of their business. At that point Sally stops the recording and runs to save her sister and her father swiftly paces her down and she injures her arm from the fall.

The next morning, her mother too shrill to even pretend to be okay wears her scars and limps through the kitchen barely strong enough to smile. Sally smiles at her and whispers " we are okay now mom" , and walks out the door smiling. She had got the bastard on tape and that was more than enough to make her day shine so bright. She walks straight to the police department and shows them the videos and they promise to come by that evening when he was back from work. She goes by her day with a stride she had never had before now and this time she looked forward to evening. It finally came and she rushed home and as usual there was shouting but she was okay with hearing it one last time!. She walks through smiling and sits at the table not bothered to stop her father from his abusive tendencies. A door bell soon engulfed the kitchen and she immediately got up and the police walk through and pin her father to the ground and that was it. He was dragged away from their house and she shut the door tightly and looked to her mother and sister and yelled "we got out!, we are free now!''.

February 03, 2021 21:58

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

4 comments

Zoe Knight
23:24 Feb 10, 2021

I think this story could use a little restraint. It is very dramatic, but things don't need to be so dramatic to make the reader emotional. When Sally gets mad at her friends and threathens them - that's just too much and it comes off as unrealistic. I do understand that a violent behaviour can be a reslut of having such a difficult domestic situation, but here it just seems like she went from 0 to 100 without a valid reason. I liked the little sister character and that Sally cares about her so much.

Reply

Angela Halubobya
21:30 Feb 22, 2021

Thank you so much for your honest feedback, constructive criticism is always a good thing.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Angela Halubobya
21:30 Feb 22, 2021

Thank you so much for your honest feedback, constructive criticism is always a good thing.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Angela Halubobya
21:30 Feb 22, 2021

Thank you so much for your honest feedback, constructive criticism is always a good thing.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 3 replies

Bring your short stories to life

Fuse character, story, and conflict with tools in the Reedsy Book Editor. 100% free.