Submitted to: Contest #311

A Young Girls Voice

Written in response to: "A character finds out they have a special power or ability. What happens next?"

American

This story contains themes or mentions of physical violence, gore, or abuse.

CW: Contains themes of suicidal ideation and implied school violence.

Jeanine Bronson was 14 and had always been a lone wolf. This was her way of preserving herself from being hurt. She was misunderstood because she was able to see things others could not. Visions of the future started appearing to her when she was only 9, and she was scared at first, but quickly found out she was unable to talk about her gift. Even her parents turned her away and would not indulge her.

Jeanine learned that her visions only appeared to her when she was abnormally stressed, which was often. She was an only child and her parents had very busy jobs so weren’t around much. She became comfortable with her books and imaginary friend, Lewis. Lewis was her confidante and always understood her, he was the only one she could talk to without being judged.

One day at school during a particularly difficult science exam, she had a vision of her classmates being harmed by an unknown and unseen being. The only thing she was sure of about her vision is that it was different than any other vision she had ever had. It felt more real than anything she had ever seen. Her vision was over within several seconds and it took her a moment to compose herself enough to complete her exam. She wasn’t sure how well she did, but at least she did finish.

After class, she rushed to the restroom to consult Lewis who she talked to via her journal, which she always kept hidden from prying eyes. She told him about her vision in as much detail as she could. This was also a way for her to remember her visions because there were so many, that sometimes it was hard for her to remember them all. This particular vision was so chilling that the only detail she didn’t have was the perpetrator’s face. This was something she felt she could not keep to herself, so after her journal entry, she found herself in the Principals office to make him aware of a potential threat.

Principal Price was well aware of Jeanine’s reputation and did not put much clout in her words. She dismissed her with reassurances that she would take all precautions to make sure the school was safe. Jeanine was not comforted by her words, but thanked her for her time and left her office.

She couldn’t return to class, so left school and ran all the way home.

She was not sure what else she could do, the person she thought she could trust was not someone she thought she was. Once she was home, she sat at the island in her kitchen for some time, trying to decide what else she could do. She didn’t want to be responsible for the deaths of her classmates, but also did not want to be laughed at for her revelation. Her only option was to inform the local police like she did the Principal and hope that something catastrophic would not happen.

She was hungry, so she made herself a sandwich and decided to go to bed early so she could go to the police station first thing in the morning before going to school. She wasn’t sure who she should talk to at the station but felt she would know once she got there. That night, her sleep was fitful with dreams about her most recent vision. The face of the person was still unclear, but the manner in which the students would be harmed was with a firearm. She had watched the news recently and knew there were many stories of schools being shot up by students who felt that was their only way to be heard.

The next morning, a Wednesday, she went to the police station and spoke to Detective Swanson. Detective Swanson had been on the force for many years and got many tips every day from sources whose claims almost never amounted to anything, but Jeanine’s story was so detailed that he assured her that he would increase the police presence for the next week to make sure there was nothing out of the ordinary to worry about. Jeanine thanked him for his time and walked to school. She wasn’t sure if she got through to the Detective, but at this point, she had done all she could do.

The next few days went by without incident even though she was watching her surroundings very closely, especially in her Science class. Friday afternoon during her last class, English Lit, she had another vision. This vision was very vague and very short. All she saw was a face, her own. She pulled out her journal and recorded her vision quickly. The worst thing about her vision was that she was standing in her empty science lab before school had started and there was a date on the whiteboard, Monday, May 7th, 1996. That was this coming up Monday and now she was very concerned that the incident was going to happen in 3 days.

Lewis was abnormally quiet that weekend and it really unnerved Jeanine because she wasn’t sure what to make of either vision. She spent most of the weekend contemplating whether she should go to school or not but finally decided that she had to go, to warn whoever she could no matter how much she got laughed at. On Sunday evening, she readied herself for bed even though she knew she would not get much sleep that night.

Monday morning she left for school early and arrived well before anyone else. Her first class was Science and since the school was already unlocked by the janitor that arrived hours before anyone else, she entered and sat outside the Science Lab and waited for someone, anyone else to arrive. Jeanine did not feel like herself that day, just a little off, and Lewis kept whispering in her ear and it was very difficult to ignore him. He was saying things like, “They will never understand you,” and “You can’t show them who you really are.” She didn’t understand what he was talking about and was very uneasy about the comments.

At that moment another vision came across her and suddenly it was very clear what she had to do. She stood up and ran as fast as she could until she reached the lake outside the park. Her vision, the one she never wrote down, was of her killing all of the students and the teacher in her Science Lab and then turning the gun on herself. She knew that these visions made her very unique and misunderstood, but she would not be responsible for harming anyone. She stood beside the lake for a long time holding her journal and trying to build up her courage to do what she knew she had to do to keep those people safe.

Luckily it was May and unseasonably warm so she would not freeze. She sat and found several large rocks and stuffed them in her backpack with her journal knowing it would be destroyed by the water. She wasn’t sad about what she had to do, even though she didn’t think anyone would understand, but knew it was necessary for the greater good. No one would be harmed at her hand except herself.

She zipped her backpack and gazed once more across the lake and couldn’t remember the water ever being quite that still. She walked slowly into the water until it was over her head and felt herself being pulled further down by the weight on her back. She let go with the comforting thought that her deep thoughts that she realized came to her as “visions” would never be discovered and felt at peace that she was dying a hero, even though she knew no one would ever hear her story.

Posted Jul 12, 2025
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3 likes 1 comment

Donald Hammond
01:34 Jul 24, 2025

First off, I want to say that your story has a powerful emotional core and raises significant themes about isolation, misunderstood mental health, and the desperate need to be heard. Jeanine’s character is deeply sympathetic, and her internal world—especially her connection to Lewis—feels vivid and raw. I was really drawn in by her gift (or curse) of seeing the future and how that shaped her loneliness and her desire to protect others, even at a significant personal cost. There's something very haunting and brave about her final choice, and you handle it with a quiet, tragic grace.
This is a dark yet meaningful story with considerable emotional depth. With a bit of polishing—especially in how Jeanine’s psychological struggle is depicted and how the tone is balanced—it could become something really memorable. You clearly have a strong sense of character and theme, and I’d love to see where you take this next.

Please keep writing! You have a gift for evoking emotion and tackling complex topics with care.

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