Say No To Danielle

Say No To Danielle!

-You

What a weird thing to scribble on the front page. Not a dick? Not a joke? Not a phone number with 'if you like to have fun;)' written next to it?

It's huge lettering but thin lines. The sentence starts in the middle of the page like they didn't have time to move their pen all the way to the left. Why such messy handwriting yet emphasis on importance of the note? I'm questioning how I can read it with the way the letters merge into one another. Then again, it says I wrote it....

And the efficiency of the message. Why one exclamation point and no other qualifiers? Why say '-You' without explaining? Does it mean I said it in the past? Am I saying it now? In the future? Am I supposed to already know the answer?

All of these clues lead me to believe it will make sense at a random time.

That's what I'd think if I was spiritual. Superstitious even. It took me about 5 seconds to process everything I just transcribed and it easily would've led to a very clear message for anybody who's looking for one.

Instead, I whispered, "What an asshole," and continued on.

After only 3 pages I got bored. If it were a message, surely they would've put it in a better novel.

This bookstore is one of my favorites. Not that I'm curled up by a fire every night reading Mark Twain but I do enjoy a good story. I tend to clarify my reading habits because you can get labeled and stereotyped for a thing like that. I don't talk about it much with people outside of my close knit circle, and even then I keep it to a minimum. I've noticed that I'm like that with a lot of things. I don't talk about my work because I don't want to bore people. I stay away from mentioning I work out or play video games. God forbid somebody know I like rock climbing-

"Excuse me," a passerby said. They interrupted my train of thought, but I'm sure you get the gist.

"Do you have any good sci-fi's you'd recommend?" She asked. I know I said I try to avoid it, but if someone questions me I'm going to oblige.

"AAA is pretty good," I said. "Right here." I pointed to it. She grabbed it immediately. It's nice when someone trusts your judgement.

"What's it about?" She asked.

"Teleportation. It's like if it was invented in real life. How would the world react? And it's a drama, so we get to see how the inventors life plays out after creating his version of a Frankenstein." Not sure that was the best explanation but it hit the major points.

"That sounds great." I'm glad she agrees. "Thanks." She began walking away with the book. But it was something about her-

"That was pretty cool." That was pretty cool? What-

"What do you mean?" she asked. I'm trying to figure out the same thing.

"How you just took my advice like that." Good save I guess.

"Well the way you're lurking through the shelves it seemed like you'd know what you're talking about." I'd be worried if she hadn't said that with a smile.

"Lurking? That makes me sound creepy."

"No, no. That was the wrong word."

"Was it or were you fucking with me?"

"Definitely that. I can't help myself."

"I don't mind." I left it silent for a beat after that line hoping she really heard it. I wanted her to feel comfortable. "You come here often?"

"No, actually. I don't read much."

"Me neither." See what I mean? "But I like the feeling of looking through a book store. It makes me feel like I'm doing something right."

"Exactly. That's why I come and buy the books but never read them."

"So what do you do? When you aren't searching for books you'll never read?" At this point my arm is resting up on a bookshelf like I'm in a Disney movie and it's about to fall out from under me.

"I just like to have fun. Go do activities and make friends. It at least convinces me I'm living my best life." She's honest. Observant.

"What about you? What do you do when you aren't creeping around book shelves like Joe Goldberg?"

"I'm a cardiologist."

"Ooooooo. That's cute."

"Now that I'm a doctor I'm cute?"

"No you've been cute that just pushed me to say it."

"Well that's a relief. I despise unrequited attraction."

"Oh and the big words come out. The vibe I'm getting isssss intellectual."

"The vibe I'm getting from you is lovely."

"Lovely?"

"Just lovely." I made her giggle with that one. It couldn't've been cuter if a thousand Ai computers tried to make the cutest laugh.

"Is this a move of yours?"

"What do you mean?" Neither one of us can stop smiling.

"Do you just walk through book stores and hit on unsuspecting women?"

"I could ask you the same thing, do you come to book stores hoping a handsome bookworm wants to create a real life love story with you?"

"Okay what's your name then Mr. lovely?"

"Liam. And you?"

"Danielle."

...

Fuck.

"What, uh, your names Danielle?" I didn't know what to think when I heard her name. I believe the universe is random, but this is a twist of fate that even I couldn't ignore.

"Yeah?" She said as a question. I could see the confusion on her face so I tried to save the moment.

"I don't know why I was shocked by that." I knew exactly why.

"I was about to ask, have you never met a Danielle before?"

"I've met a Daniel. That's about it." I'm reeling now.

"So, Liam. Is that all you want to know?"

At what point am I supposed to say no? For what reason?

"Are you free Friday night?" I asked.

"I am actually. You caught me on a good week."

"Can I take you to dinner?"

"Absolutely."

"Let me get your number." We exchanged phone lines.

"It was nice to meet you," she said to finalize.

"You to Danielle." She walked away.

I reopened the book to see if I was losing my mind.

Say No To Danielle!

-You

Written clear as day. Was I letting a coincidence get in the way of my pursuit for a beautiful woman?

I bought the book and rushed home. I didn't listen to anything in my car. Only thoughts.

As soon as I walked through my front door I opened the first notebook I could find and compared the two. If this wasn't my handwriting, I don't know what was.

You see, the thing about being a lefty is you almost always have messy, unique handwriting. Because we write left to right, a lefties hands are covering our work as we go. So, you don't see what you produce until you're done.

This is why my handwriting is hard to replicate. Hard to label as just an incident of similar elementary writing teachers.

But if it were really me, what does it mean? There was only one way to find out. A date.

...

It's hard to describe how I felt the other night. She was everything I've been looking for. Funny. Smart. Inquisitive. Bubbly. It was a rare combination of fun and serious that only the most emotionally intelligent people can manage. Every sentence I said she listened to and responded accordingly. No rehearsed lines. Regurgitated thoughts. Going along to get along. She was real, but not obnoxious about it.

Which made the moment even more uncanny. Why was I warning against this woman of all people? My curiosity took me to impossible places. Is she crazy? Unlucky? An agent from the future sent to kill me?

Okay that may be too far. But what isn't is to assume 'saying no' meant refusing her from the start. That is, if the note wasn't some kid who got rejected by a Danielle and wanted to scorn her name anywhere he could.

Maybe that kid is me...

But as it stands, I can't turn her down. She's given no red flags. So, when she asked if I'd like to go to a party with her the following weekend I said-

"Of course."

...

It's been five years. I love her. We've travelled to Beijing, Montana, London, New York, every place I've wanted to go but needed a buddy to enjoy it with. Work is going well, yada, yada, yada- everything else seems minute compared to our love.

She knows now that I'm a heavy reader, and in some cases an intellectual. She listens to my rants and theories on the human condition, most of which are not very thought out and have holes in its logic. But in return, I watch her shows and cuddle her anytime she asks. We fight, but only to make up. It's a beautiful thing that we have.

...

Ten years later. Things are getting tougher. Kids will do that to a relationship. She never wanted them but I always felt like life would be meaningless without an heir. So, we had three. One boy, two girls. I can tell it drains her energy. It's not easy being a mom. I try to help how I can when I'm home. She complains from time to time that I don't put enough effort, and she's probably right.

But lately, I've been better. At least, we don't argue as much. The wounds in our relationship we didn't know how to deal with are repairing over time.

However, her mind seems to be steady deteriorating. It's hard to pinpoint why. You could blame it on the 7, 5, and 2 year old, but I've met some sharp moms over the years. You can blame it on how little she gets out of the house now, but some would say that should give you more time to think. I've taken her on a couple dates recently to try and rekindle the romance, but her eyes tell me she's too tired.

So I sent her to Europe on a getaway. A break from it all.

...

"I don't want to come back," she said on the phone. I get that. I remember visiting Montana and wanting to become a mountain man.

"You could extend it a couple days. I'd have to talk to my mom though, I don't want to keep asking her to babysit."

"No. I'm talking about for good." The tone in her voice. The seriousness. I rarely hear that from her.

"I know you want to." I'm waiting for her to sigh and say 'but I'll be getting on that plane tomorrow.' instead, all I heard was awkward silence.

"I don't think I can go back to that life Liam."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm miserable at home. And I've met some people here who can give me a better life."

"I mean, Danielle. Come on."

"What?"

"What are you saying here?"

"I'm saying I'm not coming back." She's serious.

"But, what? Like, but-" I was at a loss for words. "Our kids. Me. You're gonna leave that here?"

"I don't know what to say. I'm just not happy."

"What happened?"

"You pressured me into a life I didn't want is what happened."

"What do you mean?! You didn't want a life with me?"

"I don't know Liam. It's just not for me anymore."

I snapped.

"Well I don't give a damn! You're coming back to take care of your kids! You're coming back to your husband. You don't just get to bail on your whole life because you don't feel like it. That's inconsiderate and selfish. This is the life you chose. You need to live with it and try to find happiness."

"What if I can't?"

"Stop it Danielle! Stop throwing out qualifiers. You're there on MY goddamn dime and I'm not giving you another cent until you get your ass back!"

"...Okay. I'm sorry."

Every married couple goes through trials. Lord knows I've had my reasons to leave. This would be one of them. But that's not how it works. Despite it brewing over years, I couldn't believe the switch her mind made. It still felt sudden in that moment despite my gut telling me she no longer loved me long before. I had a suspicion she cheated on me while overseas, but when she got back I questioned nothing.

"We'll figure this out together," I said. I gained nothing by holding a grudge.

...

Almost three years later, a new technology has been invented. Time travel. But only on a spiritual plane. You could only go in the past and you weren't allowed to alter anything physically. If you did find a way to do so, you'd be punished accordingly. The death penalty. The U.S. government was not playing around. But like with any crime, that retribution is assuming they find out.

I read about it in a briefing my boss gave me. In order to time travel you needed a special surgery on the major organs to ensure the body doesn't give out while you're traveling. This gave me early access to the product and how it works.

Even with the fights me and Danielle had, this was the first time I had thought about that note all those years ago. But, things were better. She was still dull and cold compared to the woman I once knew, but no longer had a yen to leave us. And, with the way things were headed, that seemed good enough until we could renew her spirits.

"I'm home," I said as I walked in. Usually my 8 year old would attack me when I came home. He was my little buddy. Sometimes I wondered if the kids could notice the troubles me and their mom experienced.

"Danielle?" I called out. She could've taken them to the movies. Bowling. They had the day off of school for a teacher conference and I know she likes to get out of the house with them any chance she can.

"Darling?-" I said right before I saw it.

As I turned the corner to see the bathroom, blood was flowing on the tile so freely it was soaking into the bedroom carpet. All three-

I puked. She sat there like she was as shocked as I was, looking blankly at my face.

All three of my babies were bleeding out on my bathroom floor.

"What did you do?!!"

"I solved it Liam. I solved our problems. Now we can travel the world again. We can think freely again." Her voice was soft. Like she was at peace.

"Say no to Danielle." I repeated it again and again staring at the atrocities my wife had committed to her own children. "Say no to Danielle. Say no to Danielle. Say no to Danielle!!"