Imagine Us in Heaven

John Riggall: Inmate 31072

Sing-Sing State Prison

Ossining, New York

July 7, 1933

My Dearest Molly,

I’m writing to let you know this will probably be my last day on Earth. My lawyer just informed me my last attempt at an appeal has been denied, and the warden here at Sing-Sing, is in a hurry to introduce me to “Old Sparky”. So, that’s it, unless the governor shows clemency, and I know the chances of that are about one in a million.

 But don’t cry, my love. I know my words are crushing your heart, but the truth can’t be denied. I killed that woman, as well as the unborn baby she was carrying. I can recite all the reasons why it happened, from we were broke, about to be evicted, and Gregg, the storekeeper, had his nose high in the sky, thinking he was better than us and that he deserved to be robbed. When the lady walked in, catching me in the act, I was scared, and without thinking, I shot, killing her instantly. I’m sure there are endless reasons I could come up with, for what I did, but in the end, I had no excuses, and now paying the price.

The urge to dwell on my short future and its outcome left a bad taste in my mouth, so I said to myself, “Why live my last moments in fear and anxiety when I could spend them remembering the wonderful times we had?” So, I decided to spend my last moments with you.

I recall it was beautiful summer day, when we first met. We were at Sunday School and your teacher was absent. Seeing an opportunity for mischief, I ran other to your table, sat in the teacher’s chair and began talking about the adventures of Tom Sawyer. Oh, how you giggled and laughed when the teacher suddenly came and dragged me out of the church by my ear. After class, you came out and found me standing by the old apple tree, bearing the fruit of Adam and Eve. Graciously, you took a bite of the fruit and we’ve been together ever since. That day, our seeds of love were cast into fertile soil and blossomed, engulfing us, propelling us to a new life where we would face the world, acting as one.

Then, on my eighteenth birthday, I worked up the nerve to ask the question. You stood there so calmly, while I stumbled to my knees, barely able to speak. Sweat poured off my brow, as I extended my hands towards you. While fumbling a ring between my fingers, I forced myself to speak. “Will, will you ma, ma, marry me?”

Oh, my love, you don’t know how close I came to fainting, waiting to hear your answer. Then, your sweet voice echoed through my ears. “Yes, dear. Of course, I will.”

The next thing I knew, I was holding you in my arms, dancing for joy. As we held each other close, the gentle touch of your skin, brushed against mine, giving me the happiest moment of my life. Soon after, we were married and living life in a fairytale world. All was well, until the crash of 1929 fell upon us.

Our dream had turned into a nightmare. Word came to me saying there was a run on the bank. As quickly as I could, I ran back to town. But it was too late. By the time I reached the bank, it had closed its doors for good and within that moment, our life savings was gone, as well as the job I held there. Devastated, I returned home and told you the bad news.

You couldn’t imagine how surprised I was when you took me in your arms and whispered in my ear, “They haven’t taken everything, my love. We still have each other.”

Tears of joy poured down my face, for I couldn’t understand how a marvelous woman like you could end up with the likes of me. The courage you displayed gave me the strength to go back to town and begged Gregg the storekeeper, to give me a job. I’ll never forget how he looked down at me. After what seemed like an eternity, he pointed his crooked finger towards a broom in a corner and cackled, “Get to sweeping.”

Ten hours dragged by that day, and when I returned home, I handed you a fist full of coins. In your wisdom, you spread the coins into two piles. Pointing towards the smaller pile of the two, you said, “This one is for food, and the other one will go towards the rent.” Days turned into weeks, then into months, The ritual went on, but as time passed, the coins grew less, and finally Gregg began to pay me every other day. Then, the inevitable happened.

After another day of scrubbing toilets and mopping floors, I came home to find the lights turned off. Pressing my hand against the wall and feeling my way to the kitchen, I found you sitting at the table, staring at the candle illuminating the room. When your head turned towards me, I was shocked to see tears in your eyes. It was the first time I ever saw you cry.

You slid a letter across the table sobbing, “Oh, John, what are we going to do?” The heading of letter glowed under the candlelight, the words written on it, burrowed into my conscience. Eviction Notice.

My mind snapped. Without thinking, I grabbed my gun out of the drawer and charged out the door. Before I knew it, I was back at the store pointing the gun at Gregg’s face, and words were flying out my mouth. “I’ve slaved for you these past few months and you’ve paid me nothing! You think I didn’t notice that smirk on your face, each time you reached in your front pocket to pay me? Well, now you’re going to pay me by back wages. Open the register drawer.”

As he pressed the “No Sale” key, I heard the front door open, followed by a shriek. My mind blanked out and a moment later, I found myself standing over a woman’s body, with a smoking gun in my hand.

I didn't mean to upset you by going down this road of despair, but I thought it was important to tell you how I got to be in this situation. As you can see, love can make you do the unthinkable.

When my mind cleared, I realized how life can change in a split second. One minute, I had you to lean on, and next I was arrested, never seeing or touching you again. But that’s the thing about love. Time and space don’t matter. We are one, always, even beyond death.

I may be leaving this life today, but after, I will wait for you to follow. Imagine us in Heaven. All the burdens of this world are left behind, leaving us free to love unconditionally for eternity. How wonderful it will be! Yesterday, I thought my time was through, but now, talking to you in this letter, I realize it is only the beginning. I can hardly wait for our next step into our journey to begin. I love you so much, Molly, and I always will.

Until we meet again, I am yours.

John