My name is Kady Norwood
am 16 years old & I am currently in the state of California.
Since the new year started my goal is to lose a couple of pounds before the summer approaches.
You see living in California the majority of the girls my age have perfect bodies.
Flat tummies, slim waist.
I don't have that type of body.
I've always been thick since a child.
I believe that I am the only girl in my family that is this big.
I know that everyone comes in different shapes & sizes but I want to look good.
I want to lay on the beach with my leopard bikini without feeling self-conscious about my weight.
Those around me don't understand why I want to lose weight because in their eyes I'm a 10! But in my eyes, I'm a 6!
One night when my mother & I were having dinner I had explained old to her what my 2021 goals are.
"So what's your goal this year?"
My mother asks me as she takes a sip of her white wine.
"My goal? I have a few which one would you like to know?"
"All of them if you can"
"Ok well the goal that I want to accomplish this year is losing weight"
"Losing weight? Uh, I hate that you are a teenager" my mother says as she shakes her head.
"Mom I'm serious! I'll be 17 this year I want to look nice for the summer."
"You already look nice I don't see anything wrong with the way you look"
"It's easy for you to say you've been skinny your whole life!"
"That's not fair Kady! What's wrong with having meat on your bones it shows that you are healthy! I hate seeing those skinny looking girls your age it looks like their parents don't feed them"
I put my spoon down & turn my face away from my mother's.
My mother recognizes the sadness that showed on my face. She grabbed my hand & gave it a gentle rub.
"If this goal is something that you are truly passionate about then I will help you pursue it."
I turn my head towards her direction with a face of excitement.
"Yes if it means this much to you then yes I will do whatever it takes to help."
"Ok, well I was thinking about going to the gym twice a week."
"Maybe you can help me pay for my gym membership?"
"Sure whatever it takes"
I get up from my seat & hugged my mother so tight.
"Thank you mom"
Although my mother wasn't too pleased about me deciding to lose weight she did the best she could to help me achieve this goal of mine.
Next week was my first day exercising at the gym.
My mom dropped me off once I was done with school & promised to pick me up afterward.
When I stepped foot into the gym with my gym attire & gym back hanging from my shoulder. I looked around & see a bunch of sweaty people exercising.
One lady's face was as red as a tomato as she lifts the weight.
Some girl was sitting on the bench taking pictures of her sweaty body, weird right?
As I continue to look around the big gymnasium I start to have a pep talk with myself.
"You can do this Kady! It's all in your head."
The first equipment that I picked up was the jump rope as I begin to jump up & down along with the rope. I smile as if I had won a trophy.
The next exercise that I did was the treadmill. As I step on the treadmill a girl the same age as me begins to make conversation with me.
She had light orange hair which was in a ponytail with earphones in her ear.
She asks me
Confused I respond. "Huh?
She takes out her earphones & says
" Is this your first time going to the gym?"
"Oh yeah it is"
"Im sandy Im a senior"
"Yea so am I, Im kady! "
"Yea just trying to get a summer bod for the summer!" I say nervously.
Sandy snickers softly & puts her headphones in her ear.
Later on that night I was talking on the phone with my best friend Wilma about how my first day at the gym was.
I sit at my computer at my desk cruising through the internet as I speak to Wilma on speaker.
"So how was the gym?"
"It was so much fun! It's pretty easy!"
"Yea it seems pretty easy at first but once you constantly do it, it'll start becoming tiresome."
"How do you know that? Have you ever stepped foot inside of a gym?"
"No kady I haven't but my Mom & Aunt go all of the time & then come back home to talk my head off about it. So I have sort of a clue of what it might be like"
My mother screams from the bottom stairs "suppers ready!"
"Ok well I have to go eat dinner I'll see you in school tomorrow"
"Ok see ya!"
When I arrive downstairs I join my mother at the dinner table.
"So how was the gym?"
"It was good I'm looking forward to going back!"
"Ok well, that's good."
The next day at the gym I see Sandy again. I walk over to her while she sits on the bench tying her shoes.
"Hey, Sandy! Remember me from yesterday?"
She looks up & smiles.
"Yea I do! How's it going?"
"Well, Im back again"
"I see! Wanna go on the treadmill again?"
She & I approach the treadmill & begin to talk about weight loss.
Sandy asks while out of breath "What made you try the gym?"
"I told you so I could look when summertime comes."
"Yea but a lot of girls our age doesn't think of this as a resolution"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean like, the girls at school pay to lose weight"
"Oh wow but I don't have that kind of money!"
"Yea neither do I "
Sandy & I both stop the treadmill.
Sandy grabs her water bottle out of her bag & begins to drink it.
"I mean I feel like the gym is the most positive alternative when it comes to losing weight."
Sandy says while sitting down.
"Yea & I think that the reason why people get weight loss surgery so they can receive faster results. "
"Yea that's true. But there's pros & cons for everything"
"Yea we'll be nice & fitted by the summer in no time."
Sandy & I latch our pinky together to create a pinky swear.
My name is Sage Scali Im 15 years old & is currently living in Cape May, New Jersey.
I've always been self-conscious about my weight since I was 10.
In school, I tried to do activities such as cheerleading, theater. The kids would tease me about my weight so I didn't do any more activities that involved being around kids that tormented me.
My parents would always have pep talks with me about how I shouldn't perform self-hate.
It would help for just a day & then I would go back to body shaming myself.
I have a boyfriend named Daniel, he & I have been dating for about 4 months.
We met in science class at the beginning of the year.
He thinks that I should lose weight as well.
I don't know why I date him when all he does is body shame me. I think it's because I feel I won't find anyone else.
One day when school ended for the day. Daniel was driving me home & begin to show me magazines of skinny models.
"See look at her she's beautiful!"
He says as he points at the blonde-haired model.
"Yea she is beautiful, but why are you showing me this?"
"Because I want you to look like this. If you wanna continue being my girl."
He stops the car once we arrive at my house.
"Don't you wanna be my girl?"
He grabs my chin & begins to kiss me.
I pull away from his kiss.
"Yea I want to be your girl but it's not gonna be easy to look like this"
"Yea it will be, just go to the gym I could even drive you"
I look at him with a face of disgust & exit his vehicle.
When I arrived home, my mom was in the kitchen cooking dinner while my mother watches television.
I greet my parents & make my way upstairs to my room & begin to cry.
Should I lose weight?
I mean I've always been self-conscious about my body.
As I turn the page of the magazine of models I begin to picture myself in the lingerie that the models were wearing.
I couldn't see myself wearing something with my stomach out. So I close the magazine& throw it on my bedroom floor.
Maybe I need counseling.
The next day at school I went to go see the guidance counselor during my lunch period.
My guidance counselors name was Mrs. Patrick.
As I enter her office she begins to ask me questions about my concerns.
"So Sage what brings you to my office?"
Nervously I respond
"I thought maybe I need some sort of counseling."
"With what? What seems to be the problem?"
As Mrs. Patrick fiddles with her pen waiting for me to respond. I sit there like a statue with a loss of words. Am I making the right choice by being here?
should I just lose the weight? So I can be happy?
I return to reality as Mrs. Patrick yells my name out of annoyance.
"What seems to be the problem? I do have other students to see this afternoon. So if it's something that you seriously would like to talk about then I suggest you start to talk."
"It's my weight! Im self-conscious about my weight & so I thought maybe you could help me."
Mrs. Patrick opens the drawer to her desk & pulls out a book.
"This book is about self-confidence. It usually helps those who struggle with self-confidence."
I take the book from Mrs.Patrick & begin to turn the pages.
"Will this help build my self-confidence?"
"It'll help you to start, but Sage self-confidence is something that you have to build within."
I leave Mrs. Patrick's office curious about what this book might teach me.
Instead of getting a ride from Daniel, I walked home from school with my head in the book.
when I arrived home I walked straight upstairs to my bedroom.
I read & read until my eyes became tired.
I loved the book!
It helped me for the better.
It made me realize that I should love myself more & not change myself for anyone!
I had to get rid of Daniel he is so toxic!
Telling me to look like these skinny bitches who probably starve themselves to look pretty.
The next morning as I dress for school I look at myself in the mirror & smile.
I love my big thighs, my flabby stomach & everything about me.
As I grab my book bag off of my bed I see the magazine that Daniel had given to me.
I proceed to throw it away but then I think of an idea.
When I arrived at school walking to my first-period class.
Daniel approaches me.
"Hey, girl what's going on? You haven't been spending time with me as much!"
"I've been busy"
As I try to walk away from him he grabs my arm aggressively.
"Don't you wanna be my girl?"
I pull away from him by pushing his arm off of my arm.
"No, I don't! Fuck you for telling me to lose weight! If you don't like the way I look then you can't be my guy!"
"I was just trying to save your life! Do you know how many people in America die from obesity?!"
"Fuck you! I am not obese! & if you wanted to help me maybe you should've said it just a little bit nicer!"
when I tried to walk away from him I realized the magazine that was in my hand.
I turned around & threw the magazine in his face.
"Oh yeah here's your stupid magazine."
During the lunch period, I went to Mrs. Patrick's office to thank her for lending me the book.
"You're Welcome, Sage!"
She says while hugging me.