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High School Romance Funny

It was barely noon when things started to crumble around Oliver Hanson, a sixteen year old sophomore who did everything in his power to stay in his own lane. When Miss Andrews told him he was needed in the office, with a disapproving look on her over-blushed face, he felt his palms begin to sweat. As he walked down the hallway, tugging his ill-fitting zip-up sweatshirt over his shoulders he ran through every possible thing he could be in trouble for. He thought about being two minutes late to ceramics last week, or sneaking out of class to get a drink from the water fountain during bus call... but none of that seemed severe enough to warrant a trip to the office. He prayed, sweaty and riddled with new-found anxiety, that this was some kind of mistake. When he opened up the office door, his hands shaky, he felt even more that there was some kind of mix up.

In one of the leather arm chairs across from Principal Allen's desk sat blonde bombshell junior Karina Brooks, arms crossed over her chest defensively. When she heard the sound of the door clicking open and Oliver entering, she turned quickly toward him and smiled sweetly. Immediately Oliver felt his cheeks blaze, and stood frozen a few feet from the door.

"Have a seat, Mr. Hanson," Allen sighed, obviously exasperated. Oliver was preoccupied with the fact that Karina had actually looked at him... she had made literal eye contact. He shuffled awkwardly to the seat beside Karina, struggling not to look at the girl, who sat with her fishnet clad legs crossed, her black silk dress draped over her thighs.

"Just tell him how this is all a mistake," Karina said in a saccharine voice, batting her long black eyelashes at Oliver, who looked up at the girl with a mixture of disbelief and confusion in his brown eyes.

"Wha... What do you..." Karina cut the boy off promptly.

"It's not me in the video, right? You're my boyfriend... you would know," the girl went on, reaching her hand out to take Oliver's between their respective chairs. He stared down at his hand in hers, wrapped up in her shiny, perfectly manicured nails. He glanced back up at Karina's face and saw the desperation in her eyes. She was pleading him to help her. As confused as he was, he could see that and decided to play his part the best he could.

"Um... yeah. No.. yeah... she was with me," Oliver stuttered out, trying his best to sound confident and casual. Karina squeezed his hand thankfully and nodded along with his declaration.

"See? I told you," the girl said triumphantly, looking back to Principal Allen, who seemed unconvinced but too tired to fight.

"Fine. But if I get wind of any other pornographic material being passed around with your name attached to it... you'll be expelled."

Karina rolled her eyes and then nodded her head in agreement with the punishment, standing and taking Oliver with her, his hand still firmly in her grip.

"Uh.. Thanks," Oliver mumbled thoughtlessly as he was dragged out of the room by the girl, following behind her like a puppy on a leash. Once they were outside of the office and down the hall, just outside of the locker rooms, Karina dropped the boy's hand and sighed. When the boy caught a glimpse of her expression, he realized she looked... embarrassed. In all of his time at school, he'd never seen her look so defeated. He took a half step toward her but paused...

"Are you okay?" Oliver questioned gently, the sound of students chattering in the locker room filling the silence. The girl ran a hand back through her platinum hair, and chewed the inside of her cheek.

"Thanks for helping me back there," Karina replied shyly, leaning back against the wall, planting one of her platform combat boots against the painted brick.

"...Why me?" he asked next, unsure why of all people he'd been chosen to help her evade trouble.

Karina laughed softly, suddenly rosy in the cheeks once again. Oliver fought the urge to stare.

"I just thought you seemed... nice..." the blonde girl admitted honestly, shrugging her shoulders, "and If I'd actually brought my ex boyfriend in there with me..."

Oliver let her trail off, not wanting to push anything, though he may have asked an even worse question instead which went something like: "Were you... making porn?"

Karina gasped at the allegation, her cheeks deepening in color. This time Oliver did stare, a smile spreading out across his lips at her bashful reaction. She pointed at him as she reprimanded the boy, like some kind of cartoon character, stance strong.

"I was doing no such thing!" Karina scolded as she turned up her nose, seeming equal parts mortified and embarrassed by the implication of such a thing. "I just... sent my boyfriend--well, ex-boyfriend--a video and he got mad at me and he spread it around..."

She looked down at the floor, obviously disappointed in herself. Oliver shook his head gently, a burning anger roaring in his chest.

"What an asshole," he blurted out without thought, blushing when Karina's eyes darted to him, their eyes meeting again. She smiled softly, and he chewed on the inside of his lip anxiously.

"He is... yeah..." Karina added, breaking their gaze as she paced back and forth in the hall, "Anyway... really, thank you."

The girl put her hand out to the boy again, this time offering him a handshake. Oliver looked down at the gesture and snickered slightly, thinking it was rather silly. Though, he took her hand and shook it anyway. They both laughed then, before Karina's face went sheepish again. Still holding onto Oliver's hand, she smiled, "Could you give me a ride home though? I'm suspended..."

Oliver furrowed his brows, dropping Karina's hand to rub at the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Uh.. I would... But I don't have my license."

Karina chewed on this information for a moment and then made a gesture with her hand like "no matter!"

"You can just walk me home then," the girl decided, heading toward the double doors at the end of the hall. Oliver, still mentally struggling to stay in step with the entire situation, jogged to catch up to her a moment later. They started down the school sidewalk together, heading toward the road.

"You were dating Danny Jameson, right? The senior?" Oliver piped up after a moment of silence, hoping this question wasn't overstepping any boundaries. That said, he figured the porn question had been worse, and decided to take his chances.

"Yeah..." Karina admitted, making a gagging noise to accentuate her feelings about the boy. Oliver smirked despite himself at this, adjusting his tortious shell glasses on the bridge of his nose as he walked beside the girl.

"And the video..?" Oliver joked, making Karina shove him playfully as they walked. They both laughed, and Oliver had to mentally pinch himself once more. Yes... this was real life.

"Don't be gross," Karina said, almost as if making a wish, "I kinda like you."

Oliver felt his chest tighten hearing this, fidgeting with the zipper on his hoodie as he searched his brain for something to say back. He wasn't much of a smooth talker, and settled on an earnest: "I like you, too."

Karina scoffed, though it was gentle, and the way she momentarily looked down at her boots hitting the sidewalk made Oliver think she may have even felt flattered. They were back into town then, walking down the side of the road as cars passed every few minutes. There were houses speckled along one side of the road, and some shops beginning to appear.

"Are you hungry?" Karina asked suddenly, looking over at Oliver, her crystal blue eyes once again speaking to him. This time they looked hopeful, and he realized she wanted his company. It was barely one in the afternoon and he'd eaten a big breakfast but... how could he say no?

"I guess so," he offered kindly, the girl's demeanor brightening even more at his reply. Before he could think he felt the girl grab onto his hand once more and start pulling him across the road, cars beeping and screeching to a halt as to not kill the two of them. The boy nodded apologies at the drivers, making Karina giggle naughtily as they stumbled into a convenience store on the other side of the road, the bell above the door tinkling brightly.

"You wanna eat here?" Oliver asked skeptically, looking around the dingy shop with a puzzled look. Karina came from a wealthy family, that much he knew. He found it odd that a girl wearing a designer silk slip dress would want to get something to eat from a rundown 7/11.

"Yeah... I want a Slush Puppie," Karina replied excitedly as she plucked the largest plastic cup she could from the front counter, and practically skipped across the store to the slushy machines. Oliver smiled once again, following her to the back, where she had already started filling the cup with every flavor imaginable. She looked like a kid as she made her multiple flavor concoction, layering the colors of slush with a surprising amount of concentration.

Once she finished she topped off the cup with a lid and immediately stuck her straw in, taking a big sip. Her eyes lit up at the taste before she stuck the red straw out to Oliver.

"Have some, it's so good," the girl pressed, smiling with blue tinted teeth. Oliver blushed gently, distracted by the fact that him taking a sip would be a bit of an indirect kiss, though he leaned in and took a drink anyway. She was right, it was delicious. He nodded approvingly at her creation, to her obvious satisfaction. Though the mood quickly changed when a voice came down the aisle at them.

"Look who it is... my favorite porn star," Danny hissed, tucking his hands into his Nike sweatpants as he waltzed toward them, "and who's this... your new boyfriend? Kind of faggy..."

The two guys standing behind the boy laughed at his remarks, while Karina's face visibly dropped, the excitement about her slushy disappearing. Oliver, who stood in front of her, turned toward the guys with his lips pressed into a hard line.

"Leave her alone." His voice came out smaller than he would have liked, with less power behind it than he intended. Oliver swallowed a lump in his throat, the guys chuckling again. They were all decked out in expensive name brand clothing, with their hair cut immaculately, and their shoes completely pristine. Oliver felt his mentality falter as he found himself thinking these were the types of guys Karina really should be with. But his mind changed just as quickly when he felt the girl take his hand from behind, looking at him once again with eyes that spoke so clearly. She needed him to save her. It wouldn't be the first time that day, or even the next day, or the next day...

But, Oliver decided, when she made the choice to get him called down to the office, he was given the responsibility of keeping her safe. At least for as long as she would let him do so.

"You've got a stain on your shirt," Oliver said cooly, nodding toward Danny's white tee with some luxury emblem on the chest. Danny scoffed roughly, looking down at his completely clean white shirt. He made a face at Oliver like he was stupid, giving the boy just enough time to turn.

"Where?"

Oliver grabbed Karina's slushy concoction, in a split second snapping the lid off and throwing the multicolored mixture all over Danny's face and shirt. The boy gasped at the cold, looking down at the stain with fury blossoming in his dark eyes.

"Right there," Oliver smiled smugly, gesturing to Danny's entire torso. Karina let out a joyous laugh and started running toward the exit, hand in hand with the boy. Danny and his friends ran after them until they got outside, watching from the stoop of the convenience store as Karina and Oliver sprinted away across the road and then disappeared a little ways down the sidewalk.

The last thing they heard was Danny's angry declaration of revenge: "You'll pay for this shit, dickhead!"

They laughed and laughed, and ran and ran, until they finally collapsed on a patch of grass between a couple of houses. They sat there for a while catching their breath, getting the remainder of their giggles out. When they both calmed, Oliver was the first to notice they were still holding hands. He stared down at their intertwined fingers and wondered if he'd ever had so much fun before. It dawned on him that perhaps just minding his own business was stripping his life of the spontaneous nature he really craved. Admittedly, he just wasn't the type to go off of the beaten path... but Karina was just the opposite. In the midst of his internal revelation, he felt the girl lean in and kiss him gently on his cheek. Once again, she had surprised the boy. He looked up at her with an earnest, easy-going smile. Something about all of it felt right.. destined... ever since Principal Allen's office.

"So... in the video I was..." Karina started, looking off as she was recollecting. Oliver's face burned everywhere, and he shook his head, shock shooting up his spine.

"Y-you don't.... I don't... I mean... I-"

Karina let out a belly laugh once again as she glanced at Oliver's messy expression, nudging him gently with her elbow as she squeezed his hand just the way she had in the principal's office.

"I'm kidding, Oliver," she smiled, going on to further tease the boy, "You'll have to do more than slushy my ex to get a video like that."

Oliver sat completely frozen with embarrassment, his free hand covering his face to try and hide some of his blush.

"Actually, how about we just do it in person this time around?" Karina smirked, mischief twinkling in her eyes as Oliver melted onto the grass, completely overwhelmed. Karina joined him a moment later, giggling softly as she laid her head against the boy's shoulder. They stayed this way for a while, completely quiet, before getting up... but Oliver still felt like it was far too short lived.

It was twenty minutes later that Oliver finally dropped Karina at her home, leaving her at the front gates, their hands disconnecting for the first time since the convenience store.

"See you tomorrow?" Karina asked, her eyes scrunching as her lips turned up sweetly at the boy. Oliver felt a flutter in his chest.

"I was hoping you'd say that."

May 13, 2023 15:33

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20 comments

Colleen Ireland
10:25 Jun 20, 2023

Oliver is adorable! I enjoyed this story and look forward to reading more; you captured the teen spirit perfectly.

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Brynn Helena
12:36 Jun 20, 2023

thank you so much!! :)

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Colleen Ireland
13:15 Jun 20, 2023

YW!

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Mark VanTassel
17:29 Jun 04, 2023

That was a lot of fun. As the awkward boy, I always wanted that to happen when I was young. Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us.

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Brynn Helena
17:46 Jun 04, 2023

thanks for reading!! :)

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Mary Bendickson
05:10 May 15, 2023

I hope the boy wearing the slushy got to pay for it 😉.

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Brynn Helena
11:31 May 15, 2023

LMAO me too!!

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17:16 May 14, 2023

Brilliant ! I kept expecting it to all be a set up to embarrass Oliver, glad that it wasn't (cos that's been done to death). Great title. Reminde me of that scene from Heathers.

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Brynn Helena
18:35 May 14, 2023

thanks so much!! :)

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Helen A Smith
12:34 May 14, 2023

Hi Brynn Easy to read and enjoyable with strong characters. Total opposites, but that’s part of the attraction. You made me want Oliver to succeed. He seems a really nice guy.

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Brynn Helena
12:41 May 14, 2023

thanks!! i appreciate your comment so much :)

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Wally Schmidt
04:53 May 14, 2023

This is such a sweet story and I love the characters you've created. Although in most stories the pretty girl ends up using the dorky guy for her purposes, here, you feel like Oliver might just have a chance because he is a genuinely nice guy and sincere. Your writing flows so well, making the story believable. And how can you not get behind a tale called 'How to Slushy a Fuckboy"???? Looking forward to reading more of your work!

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Brynn Helena
12:00 May 14, 2023

thanks so much!!! if there's one thing that always grabs me as a reader it's an interesting title, so i couldn't resist calling this one something a bit outlandish. i think it sort of evokes a goofy Y2K kind of vibe, and i love that! thank you for reading and for your comment i appreciate it! :)

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Wally Schmidt
13:10 May 14, 2023

I am THE WORST at titles. Also competition deadlines. So I am usually writing and submitting my work at the last minute and the title is an afterthought. Although truth be told, I probably wouldn't be any better at it if I had more time to think about it. Maybe you could start a business for writers like me who would gladly pay you to come up with a title as catchy as yours are.

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Brynn Helena
13:25 May 14, 2023

my entire writing process has always been very fluid. every story i've ever written is written only with a very broad idea in mind (for example this story--my broad idea was a girl getting in trouble for a risque video, the rest filled itself in once i started writing), and then i sit down and write it all at once, start to finish (i can never leave something in the middle or i lose my momentum), until i end on whatever feeling i'm looking for. i think my approach to titles is sort of similar, i want to evoke a feeling! i never have a title ...

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Wally Schmidt
13:59 May 14, 2023

It would indeed be [profitable. You could make bank on my needs alone. My writing process is similiar to yours -sit down with an idea and write from start to finish-until I get to the title part. Then I think, 'Oh crap. I need a title.'

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Chris Miller
21:52 May 13, 2023

Hi Brynn, I enjoyed this. Not usually my type of thing, but the characters were really convincing and well written. Great idea for the the prompt.

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Brynn Helena
22:05 May 13, 2023

thank you!! glad you found it entertaining even though it wouldn't traditionally be your cup of tea--that means a lot! :)

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Mike Panasitti
20:54 May 13, 2023

"So... in the video I was..." What has the hapless, yet heroic, Oliver gotten himself into? Hopefully, not a situation where the slushied fuckboy returns to the picture. For some reason this reminded me of an early 80s flick, The Last American Virgin. I think you'd find it entertaining. Great take on the prompt.

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Brynn Helena
21:17 May 13, 2023

oooh! i'll have to check that out!! thanks for reading and, as always, for a lovely comment! always look forward to hearing your thoughts :)

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