2023 Resolutions (Version 8)

2023 Resolutions 

(Version 8)

1. Start by not throwing out this Resolution list! Seriously. You keep missing the trash anyway. From now on, just cross things out instead of throwing this across the room. According to the braver part of you, ugly on the page is better than having the ugly in your head another year.
2. This year you WILL reorganize your “office.” But for the love of all that is holy, do not just put things “away” this time? Pick a theme, stick with the theme, toss out anything that doesn’t fit the theme. Is it an arts and crafts room? An exercise room? The place where you get dressed in the morning, or pick outfits for a night out? Is it a quiet place to ease in and out of your day? Let the room have ONE job for a change. It’s too small to hold an entire garage sale worth of stuff plus everything you lost. You have the whole house now. Also, draw a map of where you decide to put things. You will never find what you want or need if you don’t.
3. Swedish Death Cleaning will be completed throughout the whole house in the basement. If you have not used it for ten years, and it isn’t exercise related, it goes. The clothes that still don’t fit, donate them. The things that you bought but didn’t mail? Get them out. Not on the next holiday/birthday, as soon as you find one. Or give them to people who will be grateful to have them, not pissed at who sent them. Box up the recipe books and mail them. Face it, she is never coming back to get them. Don’t leave it for someone else to do when you’re gone. 
4. Get a lawyer, a will, advance directives, make funeral arrangements, and appoint a guardian. Put all the paperwork in the same place. Make sure everyone has keys and information on how to handle the mess you are leaving behind contact information for the necessary people. In the end, you will be alone. So Do Not leave any extra problems for folks to figure out. Make a “mix tape” for the people who care about you, and leave them thank you letters. They deserve it for staying when everyone else left. Make sure they know their kindness was appreciated. Put the lawyer in charge of contacting the kids. 
5. You may not start working on #5 until you have finished #3 and #4. This is not some homework assignment where you work on the problems that are easy before you handle the tough stuff. This is hard core adulting! Plus, you are too old to leave all that stuff undone. You’ll leave a mess no one but family should deal with, and you don’t have a family anymore. No one should have to deal with the things you are holding onto. Dig deep, find your inner Elsa, and Let It Go. The things that you are holding back could be bringing someone else joy right now. The kids do not want anything that reminds them of you. When you are done waiting for the moment when anyone else wants to fix what has been broken, you get to do #5. Have you finally faced the fact that you blew it, handled your mess? Are all your affairs in order? If the answer to both questions is yes, you can begin #5 and start living as if you are excited to be ALIVE!
6. Jump out of a plane. Go hiking again! Do things that crank your heart rate up until you can feel it again. Sweat during the day instead of just at night. Drag every piece of exercise equipment in the house in one place and use them. Get a tattoo. Take dancing lessons. Go sailing. Join a book club - and please stick with it. Go to Napa Valley for a wine tasting tour. Paint badly with Bob Ross and turn everything into happy little trees! Sing karaoke with your friends again. Make plans with the next person that calls to ask if you are ok. Or better yet, schedule days that you are going to call them instead. When was the last time you called your sister? Or played with your nephews? They sent you an invite to the movies and you told them you were sick. You owe them a movie night. Have you seen your brother’s new patio? Get out of the house three times a week to do something extremely odd. Become eclectic! 
7. Stop holding your breath. Beginning right now you are officially 25 with 65 years of experience. Volunteer at the shelter. Help at the theater. Find out who needs a ride. Those silly things you didn’t do while you worked two jobs while trying to raise kids who hate you for not being home are still waiting for you to do them. Not everyone gets to live long enough to do things they thought they could never do. You did. Be grateful until you feel grateful.
8. Get a passport and a map. Make a list of all the places you ever thought you wanted to see and get a plan to see them. Go to at least two of the places on your list this year. Make one a mission trip. Take your sisters, grab your brothers, ask your friends. Take their kids! Or go alone. No excuses from now on. Just GO.
9. Stay with the people who stayed with you. Love the people who love you. Talk to the folks who listen to you. Listen to the folks who talk to you. Stop living as if the people who left you are coming back. The people who stayed deserve to have the person they know you are. Be that person.
10. Celebrate every small victory, act of kindness, and triumphant moment. Start doing this one right now. You have completed #1 on your 2023 Resolutions (Version 8) list. Congratulations! Don’t forget this feeling while you work on #2.

   Get busy living, period. Life is more important than death.

You’ve got this!