The butterfly's grave

Lilien let Gabriel guide her through the maze of bridges in that exaggeratedly large courtyard. Her head was still spinning and she was breathing hard from the vision she had in the hall. Gabriel's warm hand was the only thing holding her together. Her hair was undone, she felt the strands of dark hair sticking into her back due to sweat despite the fresh air blowing across the steeps. She had not even realized they had reached a white kiosk located amid the dense trees that covered the landscape, which linked four bridges going in different directions.

    “Lilien?” she heard Gabriel's worried voice calling her.

    She blinked in an attempt to clear the mist that was flooding her head and looked up at the boy with black hair and blue eyes who was looking at her worried. She tried to smile to reassure him, but he placed his free hand on her face to examine her.

  “Sorry,” she apologized, “did you say anything?”

    “I asked if you were better,” he answered with his hand still on her face.

    “I am, thanks.”

    “Are you sure?” He asked, not very convinced.

    Lilien let out the air. Yes, she was feeling better. At least, she no longer had the feeling of numbness like sailing amongst extreme tides and was now able to walk without her legs shaking. Gabriel's company reminded her that she did not have to go through all of this alone, seeing that he had come to her rescue again in the hall, She had felt relief and happiness to see that of all the people who were there, Gabriel had been the first to reach her. Without realizing it, she rested her head on his palm and looked at him gently. 

    He smiled at her in response and started caressing her cheekbone with his thumb. Lilien, now aware of how close they were to each other, slowly pulled away and saw the kiosk above Gabriel's head. She had not appreciated it well because of her anguish until now, but now she could admire how beautiful the place was. It had its columns covered with vines with lilac and blue flowers. The roof ended in a semicircle and, like the bridge railings, was lit from within by soft tints of the orange magic stones.

    “Amazing––” she exclaimed, entering it while looking at the ceiling with a hypnotized expression. Despite her slippers, her peach-colored dress brushed the floor a little, so she had to pull up her skirt so as not to step on it when she climbed the steps of the kiosk. “––Is there any place here that is not beautiful?”

    Gabriel followed her and stood beside her, despite how little he liked this place, he had to admit that this kiosk gave him a more familiar air. Perhaps it was for the simplicity of it since each part of the castle expressed unnecessary and forced ostentation, but that space did not. This one shone naturally, without the need to have molten gold or precious stones embedded in its columns. He looked at Lilien and a warm sensation settled in his chest. Had he ever seen someone doing something as simple as laughing or talking and had he smiled at the simple fact of enjoying their company? Definitely not, only Lilien was capable of causing such an effect on him.

    She looked at him and smiled. Suddenly, the soft music of violins and a piano began to sound in the distance: a waltz. The music came from the hall, which meant they weren't too far from the palace. Without being fully aware of his actions, Gabriel bowed and offered his hand to Lilien.

    “Can I have this dance?” he asked with a mischievous expression. “Your Highness,” he added.

    Lilien put her tongue out playfully.

    “Don't call me that,” she said mockingly and took Gabriel's hand, this time not even minding that she didn't know how to dance.

    He took her by her waist and pulled her gently as she placed her free hand on Gabriel's shoulder. Suddenly they were swaying gently, to the rhythm of the music that filtered from the palace. In those moments, the world around Lilien disappeared, as her eyes were only focused on Gabriel's, on those blue, ocean eyes which were able to reassure her and make her feel like herself with just a glance. Lilien felt a lukewarm sensation wash through her entire body spreading down her cheeks, she felt how Gabriel's hand began to run down her wrist causing her to shiver–– and he suddenly stopped. With a quick movement, he lowered the sleeve of her dress, exposing an iron shackle and the swollen skin beneath it. Suddenly self-conscious, she stepped back, putting her hands back to her chest.

    “Why are you wearing that?” Gabriel asked tightly, clenching his fists. “You don't have to wear them like me, you are free.”

    “You wouldn't understand,” she replied in a low voice, with her gaze on the ground. She was no longer able to look him in the eye.

    “You're right. I definitely don't get it,” he replied in a sharp tone. “Is this the work of the queen and the royal family? Do they mean to denigrate you or deny your position by forcing you to use them?”

    “No,” she answered, jerking his head up. “They are not forcing me to do anything.”

    That only angered him even more.

    “Are you telling me, you take them on your own free will?” –– He asked dumbfounded, raising a hand to his hair–– “Why? What ideas caught to your head now?”

    Lilien opened her face in outrage, did Gabriel really think she was that easy to influence? He did not know what she knew, he had no right to judge her without reason. She suddenly felt the urge to return to the palace to avoid talking about that.

    “Enough, Gabriel,” she snapped, “I won't stay here listening to you criticize my decisions. You don't know my reasons for taking them and the thought of you assuming that I obey anything the vipers with a crown have to say offends me––” she wanted to stop, to close her mouth, but she was no longer able to control herself, she had even started screaming “––stop getting into matters you're incapable of understanding!” She exclaimed.

    She started to walk furiously towards the bridge they had come from, she heard her blood thundering into her ears and again began breathing heavily. However, she felt Gabriel's hand grip her arm firmly, but without hurting her. She turned to him, still angry, and opened her mouth, ready to demand him to release her. Though, all her anger had dissipated when she saw Gabriel's pleading look.

    “Then explain to me," he said in a voice so low that Lilien doubted for a second that she had heard him. After a moment of silence, he let go of her arm. I don't mean to corner you, as they do, it's just that––” He paused,“––it bothers me to see you with these things.” He said, rolling up the sleeves of his navy blue trench coat to reveal his immobilizers. “These things mean slavery to me. They are a bitter reminder that I am not welcome in this place; that my family is not welcome in this place. But you––” he said approaching and taking Lilien's face in his hands. “You are free. You do not carry any guilt. You do not have to hide.”

    Tears stung Lilien's eyes, and she was unable to stop them after what Gabriel had just told her. Of course, she was also guilty of a terrible sin: she had murdered someone. She was a monster that only harmed others, but Gabriel insisted on seeing an angel where there was none, she shook his head and looked him in the eyes.

    “You don't understand,” she gasped in a cry, “I'm a monster.”

    “You are not, Why would you say that?”

   “My power is to bring a person's worst fears when I touch them,” she blurted out. “I am not able to control it yet, I have practiced, but I don't want to risk it. I don't want to endanger any of you––” she said urgently “––the first time I touched someone, I left an innocent girl unconscious, I could have killed her. These bracelets are the only thing that keeps me from hurting them.” She looked down, unable to stop crying. “I do everything to protect you. Also, Samantha––”

    “Samantha didn't die because of you, stop blaming yourself for that.”

    She couldn't take it anymore.

    “Of course, I'm to blame!” she burst out without controlling the words that came out of her mouth. “I killed her” she fell to the ground, sobbing and covering her face with both hands. She expected to hear Gabriel yell at her for taking Samantha away. She had also expected him to leave, utterly disgusted by what she had just confessed.

    However, he knelt and surrounded her in a heartfelt hug. He buried his face in Lilien's neck and she could feel his warm breath brushing the skin of her neck. She even stopped crying because of how shocked she was, why was he doing that?

   “Had I known you were blaming yourself for this all this time, for something that Stephan's killer is to blame for, I would have explained what happened from the moment you woke up.” Without waiting for an answer from her, he continued. “Samantha died from a necromancer spell, so her body ended like that. You don't control that kind of magic, but Stephan does. She died from the spell he set on her. You did not kill her, on the contrary. You freed her from whatever she was suffering”––said the latter moving away from her to look at her.

    Lilien was still processing what he had just said: she had not killed Samantha, she was not a murderer. She wasn't––

    Gabriel took her right wrist and removed the bracelet, that was enough to interrupt the thread of his thoughts.

    “What are you doing?!” she exclaimed, shrugging his hand towards his body, “give it back to me.”

   “You say your power is to see other people's fears,” he said, putting the bracelet in his raincoat pocket, ignoring what she had said. “And that you have practiced, so as not to hurt those around you, which means you do not plan to wear those bracelets forever––” he extended his hand towards her “––see mine.” Seeing Lilien's alarmed expression, he added: “Don't worry, I know you would never hurt me. I trust you” ––he said with an intense look.

   She stood stiff, still weighing Gabriel's request; however, prompted by something unknown inside her, she reached out her right hand for Gabriel but did not touch his hand. Slightly, with the tips of her fingers, she gently brushed his cheek, and with that contact, it was more than enough. She felt Gabriel's soul, but it did not resist; on the contrary, he welcomed her, and Lilien was carried away by Gabriel's feelings and thoughts. It was like reading a book that she knew excellently, and in a short time, she found what she was looking for; Gabriel's greatest fear.

    She saw a cliff that was familiar to her: it was the place where Samantha had died. Gabriel's mind had guided her to that memory, but why? Reluctantly she watched the scene unfold before her eyes ––thank goodness she didn't have to see her friend's death again––, she saw a completely scared Lilien being dragged away by Stephan and Gabriel calling her to rescue her. She didn't have to observe much because she still had fresh memories of that day: she running towards Gabriel and becoming unconscious.

  She felt a wave of panic and a genuine dread of not knowing if she was okay, or why she had been unconscious, she felt a deep fear that he had not arrived in time, that Stephan had done something to her––Then she realized this was not something she felt: it was what Gabriel had felt that day. The scene began to fade like ink into water, and she felt Gabriel gently let her out. She was stunned by what she had just seen, Gabriel's greatest fear was––

    “Losing you,” Gabriel's voice said.

   Lilien blinked a couple of times to get out of her stupor, in which she always left having entered someone's soul. She was back at the kiosk, and everything was completely silent, but now they were both standing, and Gabriel was holding her by the waist. He was looking at her deeply and with a tenderness that Lilien had never seen before.

    “My biggest fear is losing you,” he said, and with a bitter laugh added, “I must thank Stephan for what he did, if it hadn't been for that day, I wouldn't have realized how I feel about you.”

    “And what do you feel?” she asked, feeling her heart was about to explode.

    He tenderly took her face in his hands, and with his thumb began to run over Lilien's face. She felt a shudder, but she didn't want him to stop, she wanted him to keep touching her. He stared at her for a few seconds before lowering his blue gaze to her lips, wholly sleepy, and as if a force attracted her, she raised her face to Gabriel's half-open mouth and, without realizing it, he was already kissing her. Lilien gasped, Gabriel's lips were soft and warm, making the kiss soft and slow. She felt a powerful electric shock ran from her lips to the most hidden part of her body, and it was then that she stopped thinking and abandoned herself to the kiss. She opened her mouth to reciprocate and wrapped her arms around the young man's neck.

   In response, Gabriel made a soft growl and hugged her tightly around the waist, increasing the intensity of his lips and pulling her back up a column while still kissing. He took a moment to take a breath, but she stood on tiptoe to find his mouth again as she tangled her fingers in Gabriel's black hair, it was long and silky; stroking the strands was pleasant. The heat radiating from him, their hearts beating, he made her feel that she was not alone, that she would always find refuge in his arms, that she did not have to feel sad again––

    “Lilien,” she heard her mother call her kindly.

    She blinked a few times to return to reality, reluctantly letting go of the happiest memory she had. Suddenly she felt a cold chill to the bone, and she hugged herself, hoping to get rid of that feeling, heartily wishing that Gabriel was there to wrap his warm arms around her. She yearned to feel his breath tickle the back of her neck more than anything, she craved she could see his blue eyes again, looking at her with love and sweetness; but that could not happen ever again.

   “Honey,” her mother called, gently stroking her black hair, “it's our turn.”

    Lilien kept her composure, smoothed down the dark dress she was wearing and walked with her mother through the crowded circular courtyard until she reached a glass sarcophagus in the middle of the room. She kept walking until she could see the figure inside it. There laid Gabriel, her Gabriel. The young man who had taught her that he was not a monster, the one who taught him there was light amidst the darkness. Surrounded by blue flowers and dressed in a white suit that highlighted his black hair and long dark eyelashes, Lilien placed her hand gently on the glass, at Gabriel's chest height.

   “There is nothing more I should tell you,” she began to say in a voice firmer than she expected. “I love you, and I will love you until the end of my days. I do not regret anything that I lived with you. The only thing I regret is that you did not get to see what I have become thanks to you. You taught me to be strong and not to believe what I was, was wrong.”  She paused for a moment as she felt tears streaming down her cheeks. “I promise I will walk with my head up and hope from now on, Gabriel. Thanks for everything. I'll see you in eternity.”

   She leaned down, kissed the glass of the coffin softly, and taking one last look at her beloved, prepared to leave. Even though the future was no longer so uncertain, Lilien did not know what would come from now, since Gabriel would no longer walk beside her on her way to the unknown. She was in the same situation as when it all started: completely alone. As she walked towards the exit, she couldn't help but wonder what her purpose was then. Was her destiny to be abandoned after all for the rest of her life? Was everyone destined to be alone for the rest of their lives?