STEERING

“SHE’S COMING!  EVERYONE REPORT TO YOUR STATIONS NOW!”

No one had ever seen the famously calm general so riled up.  It did, however, make sense that today would be the day that his men would see him in a panic.  Despite his words, his loyal soldiers stayed where they were.  They would stare in silent shock from across and beside the central table in the command room.  

Finally, his lieutenant spoke up.  “Sir, if she is coming, then she is coming for you.  We can’t leave you here unguarded.”

“NO!  We know this room is secure.  I need all of you searching for her before this turns into an even worse debacle! NOW GO!”

As ordered, they would march out of the doors and take to their stations.  Once he was alone, Hark let out a heavy sigh.  “I knew this would happen one day,” he whispered to himself.

“I’m sure you did.”  The painfully familiar voice would come from behind and twist his stomach.  Slowly, he turned to face the barrel of a pistol.  Behind it was a woman with wide eyes and dark bags under each of them.  She would wear a stolen military uniform that was only slightly oversized.  

Defeated, Hark let out a quiet laugh.  “When did you sneak in here, Violet?”

“About an hour ago.  I set off the alarms and left some evidence around because I knew you would play hero and isolate yourself.  Now,” she said, pulling the hammer, “where is she?”

“Violet, you have to understand--.”

“I understand that you’re a liar and that you and all the higher-ups don’t give a shit about me.  Sorry, I meant that you’ve never given a shit about me.”

“That’s not true, Violet!”

“SHUT UP!” she roared.  Many times, Hark had seen this same furious expression of VIolet’s.  To have that horrifying expression peering into him rather than one of their enemies would strike fear into the core of his being.  It not only terrified him, but would also fill him with profound sorrow.  “Where. Is.  She?”

“Of course I care about you!” Hark roared back.  “I did what I did for you!”

A smirk crept up on her face.  “Are you actually serious?  Is that what you tell yourself to get to sleep at night?  I gave my life to the military.  I gave up all my hopes, dreams--I subjected myself to your surgeries so I could be the perfect soldier for all of you.  And I was…”  Both the joyous and harrowing memories of her service would make pulling the trigger more and more tempting.  “Over one hundred successful tours--being used by the brass and the government until I had nothing left to give!  For decades, I served this country and did whatever you asked me to…and then I had my baby.”  Her voice would wither on her last few words.  “For once in my whole entire life, I finally found something that I wanted.  Do you understand what that’s like..?  Going your whole life just doing what other people want, finally finding something that you want…only to have it ripped away from you by the people you thought were your family!?  HUH!?”  Tears began to stream down her pained face.  Her teeth grit as she tried to hold them back.

Her tears would then summon Hark’s own.  He would need a second to gather himself before responding.  “I am your family!” he exclaimed.  “Ever since that day you were brought here, I did all that I could to make you feel at home!  You don’t think it sickened me that they would illegally enlist you at the age of twelve and subject you to--to those awful enhancement surgeries.  Who was it that comforted you when you were in recovery!?  Who was there throwing you secret birthday parties and sneaking you off base!?  Don’t you remember that night after your survival training?  When your body was tired and broken--who was it that stayed by your hospital bed for days!?”

“And why?” her voice lowered to a menacing hiss. “Why do all that?  Is it because you actually loved or cared for me?  Or was it all a part of the plan to make sure I was a good little soldier?  You and the fucking brass…always controlling my life.  When I finally had my daughter…how long did it take for you all to decide to lie to me and tell me she died?  What was that conversation like, hm?  You would all do anything to make sure you could control the trajectory of my life--to play the part that you wanted.  And now…”  her eyes lifted above the gun as if she could see beyond the metal walls, “there’s a poor little girl out there who is going to suffer the same fate.  I won’t let that happen.” Her cold eyes returned to Hark.

“You think that decision was easy for me!?  Maybe you’re right about the others, but do you really think I would want to rip your child from your arms!?  When you reported your pregnancy to me I was ecstatic!  I wanted you to know the joys of raising a child--to give it the life that you never got.  This choice was a selfish one, but it was made with your best interest.  I had to pull countless strings and ask for many favors to--.”

“ENOUGH of your SHIT!  I don’t care about your reasons.  I’m going to stop you monsters from turning my child into…me.  Now, tell me where she is.  NOW!”

For quite some time, Hark stared into her pained eyes.  He could not bear bringing the woman she saw as a niece anymore pain.  “I will take you to her,” he said.  “But she’s not here.”

Violet, being an expert of stealth and knowing the base layout quite thoroughly, was able to sneak out with Hark without anyone noticing.  There, they would trek for miles until they reached the car that she had brought.  She would have Hark drive and would be sure to keep her gun trained on him in case he tried anything.  They would drive for over three hours in mostly silence.  Expecting to drive to another military facility, Violet would become suspicious when they got further and further from any of the facilities she knew of.  “If you are trying to drive me into some kind of trap--.”

“I’m not.  And put the gun away.  Even if I wanted to hurt you, you could literally kill me with a single punch.”  WIth much hesitation, she obliged.  “Thank you.  We’re almost there.”

Where they would arrive was not a military base or a government facility of any kind.  She would find herself at a local park…

“What are we doing here?”

Hark pointed toward the playground where a few children enjoyed their time in the sun.  She would realize what she was looking at before Hark spoke.  “Blue shirt,” he said.  “There she is.”

There, a little under one hundred feet away was her child.  Too young to play alone, her parents would happily guide her around and in the jungle gym.  Her father would take her up to the top of the slide where at the bottom, her mother would await her with a bright smile.  When she slid down into the embrace of her mother, she giggled as she received a barrage of kisses. 

  Violet would watch from behind the window.  It was now quite literally the only thing between her and her daughter. She was so close to taking back what she wanted…yet she found herself unable to move.

“Those are good people,” Hark began.  “The brass…many of them wanted to do what you said and turn her into a soldier like you.  I fought so hard that it nearly cost me my career.  I couldn’t convince them to let you keep your daughter, but I was able to stop them from making her one of their test subjects.  I also made them promise me that I would be the one to approve of her parents.  I turned down eighty--maybe ninety of them to make sure she would be raised how you would want her to be.  They are kind--just the right amount of flaws, healthy, have great jobs and are very open minded.  They’ll love her, let her be herself and support her as she chooses her own path rather than steering it like we did you.  People like that…they aren’t like you and I.  While they live life and learn to be better people, it is our duty to harden ourselves in order to protect them.  People like you and I--who live for combat…we don’t get to have that life.”

Her eyes never left her daughter.  With every one of Hark’s words, it felt as if the distance between her and her daughter would grow.  “...Fuck…”

Hark gently placed her hand on her shoulder.  “I’m sorry…I am so sorry.”

The pain in her voice challenged Hark’s composure.  “It’s not fair.  You all…my parents…you not only took my child, but my ability to even be a proper mother if I ever got the chance.  But you’re right…this is what’s best for her.”  Relief, clarity and sorrow would finally bring down her emotional defenses.  She would weep like she never had.  It would activate Hark’s old instincts.  Like when she was a child, he would wrap his large frame around her and nestle her as if to be her shield from all of her worries.  Over and over, he apologized.

When she was finished, she gently pulled herself from his embrace.  Her weary eyes lowered to her lap.  “Go.”

“Violet, just come back with me.  They will understand if we--.”

“Maybe they will…but I think it's time I live my own life.”

“But they’ll be looking for you.  You’ll be on the run for the rest of your life until they capture you and throw you in prison.”

“Yeah, but it will be my choice.  Go.  Now.”  With much hesitation, Hark exited the car.  “I’m not going to thank you.”

“I know.  I don’t deserve it.”

Her eyes would then meet with his.  This time, he would find no hatred in them.  “But I will give you this, Hark…you…are a good man.”

It was the absolute last thing Hark would describe himself as.  It would nearly cause him to break out into tears again.  He had lived in silent shame ever since Violet gave birth.  Those words coming from the woman who he betrayed--they would stay with him forever.  “And you, an even better woman,” he replied.

After one more long look at her daughter, she drove off.  The pain she felt would never be forgotten…but a new feeling would aid in dousing the flames of her rage.  A feeling of hope--  hope that her child could live a life that she was never able to.