Jack said his little brother yeah with a fake sick voice r u ok said his little brother no said jack what's wrong said his
little brother my throat hurts said jack with his fake sick voice did u tell mom or dad said his little brother I wanted
to but their not home said jack with his fake sick voice their not said jacks little brother no said jack with his fake sick voice oh said jacks little brother yeah said jack with his
fake sick voice jacob what did u wanted to tell me said jack
with his fake sick voice oh nothing said his little brother Jacob tell me said jack with his fake sick voice ok I wanted u to come outside with me to see if the boat u made me
yesterday slides in the rain but i'll go alone said jacob ok but before u go take this said jack with his fake sick voice jack got up his bed and opened a drawer and got 2 walkie talkies out* jack sat on his bed* what is that said Jacob this is a walkie talkie said jack with his fake sick voice a walkie talkie said Jacob yeah said jack with his fake sick voice u hold into this circle and u say something said jack with his fake sick voice like a phone said Jacob yeah said jack with his sick voice here test it out said jack with his fake sick voice ok said Jacob jack gaved the walkie talkie to his little brother* jacks little brother hold onto the circle and said something* hi said Jacob hi said the other walkie talkie* that's really cool smiled Jacob ikr said jack with his fake sick voice Jacob hugged his brother* I hope u feel better said Jacob I hope said jack with his fake sick voice I'll cya later said jacob ok said jack with his fake sick voice Jacob got out his room and went downstairs jacob put on his rain coat and his rain boots and opened the door and went outside and closed the door* Jacob started to walk to the road nexts to the sidewalk* Jacob saw his brother in the window and waved at him jack waved back* Jacob put the paper boat down the paper boat started to slide* Jacob stopped watching the paper boat and press the circle *jack said Jacob yeah said Jack with his fake sick voice the paper boat slides said Jacob cool said jack with his fake sick voice jack made a fake vomit sound * jack r u ok said his brother no I feel like I wanna throat up said jack I'll talk to u in a bit said jack ok said Jacob jack pretended he went to the bathroom to throw up * it worked said jack it worked now I could call my friends said jack jack got his phone under his pillow and got his phone out * jacob saw the boat going far Jacob runned after it * jacob was staring at the boat and didn't see where he was running Jacob fell * the paper boat was going nexts to the a sewer Jacob got up and saw it going nexts to a sewer Jacob got up and runned before it goes inside the sewer * the sewer fell inside* NOOOOOOO screamed Jacob Jacob bend down the sewer * no my favorite work hard to make that said jacob hiya said a voice behind him hi said jacob is this ur boat said the voice Jacob got up and turned around when he turned around he saw a clown ahhh said Jacob hey kid it's ok said the clown I'm not gonna hurt u I just wanted to know if this was urs said the clown Jacob got scared it's ok said the clown like I said I won't hurt u said the clown is this ur boat said the clown yyes said Jacob oh really said the clown yes said Jacob it's a really nice boat said the clown thanks said Jacob my brother made it u have a brother said the clown yes said Jacob but he is sick said Jacob aw is he said the clown yeah said Jacob getting a bit sad* aw kid don't be sad it's ok he might feel better soon said the clown thanks said Jacob ofc kid what is ur name said the clown Jacob the clown put his hand on Jacob I'm penny shaking his hand nice to meet u penny said Jacob nice to meet u to with a evil smile the clown hold his hand so tight* penny can u let me go said Jacob why said the clown because I have to go home said Jacob penny didn't let go * Jacob try to pull his hand out but he couldn't* please can u let me go said Jacob I SAID NO said the clown opening his mouth and biting his hand* Jacob fell in the road and started to cry * the clown went into the sewer with his power and pulled Jacob with his power * Jacob tried to get up but he couldn't no cried Jacob please stop said Jacob jack screamed Jacob Jacob fell in the sewer the clown ate all of his body * 4 minutes later jack looked out the window to see if his brother was coming* jack got his walkie talkie and press the circle * Jacob r u coming inside said Jack with his fake sick voice Jacob he didn't respond jack stopped doing his fake sick voice and started to get worried JACOB JACOB PLEASE ANSWER JACOB jack got out his room and went downstairs and put on his shoes and opened the door and went outside and closed it* JACOB JACOB jack looked behind the backyard and didn't see him jack looked in the sidewalk outside his house and didn't see him jack saw a walkie talkie nexts to the sewer * jack runned to the sewer jack picked up the walkie talkie* JACOB JACOB JACOB jack started to cry* jack and Jacobs parents arrived* jack and Jacobs mom saw jack crying nexts to the sewer jack and Jacobs mom walked with him* jack said his mom mom cried jack jack hugged his mom *sweetie what's wrong said his mom jack told his mom everything to be continued......
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5 comments
You need to edit this to make it more readable. Every time you switch speakers you need a new paragraph with quote marks around what the character says. Look at my story "When Will We Ever Learn" to see what I mean. I purposefully misspelled some of their words to show their speech patterns. It may be too late to edit if your story has been approved. Remember next time.
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Now ik what it means thank u I'll fix it later
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Ok i will
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If I may jump onto the suggestion wagon, I recommend spelling out all of your words. For example, if you write "r u ok" then you would change it to "are you okay". When you write numbers under three characters, write the entire word out. Instead of 2, write two. For a larger number, like 27, you would write twenty-seven. Good plot, though I don't see how it relates to the prompt.
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Tysm this is my old account that I had in my tablet it got wet sadly and I am using a phone my brother let me keep it
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