Dan Finds His Place In Danvile

Dan Finds His Place In, "Dan" -ville, Virginia

There was a man named Dan who lived in a huge metropolis called Danville, Va. . That was because he loved the big-city life. He also thought any huge town with his name in it must be the perfect type of environment for him to take up residence in. He grew up on a farm with many different kinds of animals on it so his daddy taught him how to be a cow-puncher at an early age so he could help him when he grew up with his farming chores. The problem was Dan got mad at the cows so easily he would always end up, “punching” them when they didn’t do all the things he wanted them to do. His daddy got a little mad at him saying that he didn’t mean for him to actually, “punch” all the cows. Then his daddy told him to slop the pigs. Again, he didn’t understand his directions so he slapped the pigs. Then his daddy told him to give them all a drink. He meant water, but Dan didn’t read the label which was written on the jug and ended up giving them wine to drink. When his daddy got upset at him, he told him, “I thought they’d enjoy a change of pace from water so what they drink’s, ‘swein.’ “ Again, his daddy frowned at his lack of accomplishments with succeeding at his task.

That’s when he told him to take care of the chickens, thinking it would be hard to mess up at that task. Yet Dan took them to The Hilton and helped them to, “chick-in” for a reservation. Needless to say, his daddy was more than just a little bit irritated at his son's lack of understanding.

The next assignment he gave Dan was to go shear the sheep because they were getting hot, but as usual, Dan didn't understand his daddy’s directions and cut off virtually all their fur. His assignment was just to cut off enough to take into town and sell it to the merchents who would use it to make clothes and affegans to earn some money and still have enough left over to give his mamme so that she could use it to do her knitting projects. After that, Dan was assigned to feed the bulls, although they’re pen was locked for obvious reasons. When Dan took the bucket of food into their pen, he heard the sound of galloping hooves which was coming up quickly behind him. When he whirled around, he saw to his horror that there were 3 bulls charging at him with their heads pointed down, obviously with some mal intentions on their minds about what they were going to do with Dan. He gasped and jumped over the fence, with the bull running full-speed at him with his head pointed down and snorting all the way as he came charging towards the young man, obviously with mal intentions on his mind, and smashed into the big, thick fence, getting his horns stuck in the wooden beams and he couldn't get them to come out. That made him commence to cussing, but since it was done in bull-language, and Dan didn’t speak any foreign languages besides French, German and Spanish, he didn’t understand what the bull was saying, which was just as well because his mamma would definitely not have approved of letting her son hear such cursing, even if it did happen to be in a foreign language of any kind.

After that his daddy told him to take care of the horses, but again, he didn’t understand his daddy’s instructions and ended up wasting all their throat lozenges because he didn’t want them to sound, at all “horse.”

Next he was assigned to take care of the family's sheep, since that task would be really hard to do anything wrong with. Yet as always, Dan didn’t understand his daddy’s simple directions and ended up cutting all their fur off because he thought they looked hot. When his daddy saw what he had done to his preshous sheep, he shook his head and said to himself, “Good grief! Now, that really was a, ‘sheer’ disaster asking my brilient son to do that right!”

That’s when his daddy fussed at him and told him to take care of the bulls. Yet before he went out to the field, he had assigned him to go, he changed his mind while yelling, “Bulls! Huh! That’s what you’re full of, son!” and wouldn’t let him fulfill that task. It became obvious that his son was definitely not put here on Earth to be a farmer's assistant.

Since the only kind of work his daddy had been exposed to was working on the farm, he told him to try some other avenues. The first one he tried was to be a hairstylist. That turned out to be more down his alley. One reason for that decision was because he had the perfect first name for the job, Dan. His boss wanted him to change his last name to Druff, but that was where his parents drew the line at. No son of their would ever be a hairstylist who had that name. Regardless, at least he had found his place in the world. Many girls came to see him and have their hair styled by him. He even got some Playboy Bunnies to come in. That’s because he was so good at giving them the best, “ ‘hare’-cut” in the entire town of Danville, Va. which meant many people, especially girls, would come from miles around to get their hair done by him. He got to be so totally awesome at doing that extremely major task, that he eventually got the idea to broaden his horizons some more and cut some animals firs in addition to people's hair. That meant people would bring in their pets from miles away just to have Dan but their pet's fur. That caused him to become quite famous, at least for any person who needed to have some kind of treatment done to their hair. Even the rabbits came in because they wanted to get their, "hare-cut." At any rate, Dan's fame grew not just throughout Danville, but throughout all of Virginia. Life had made a dramatic turn for the best for, "The Dan-Man" whom had gotten to be a well-known hair-stylist. Life had become quite good for him and his entire family, and so, as the best-written children's srorries of all time will officially finish up with, "THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!!!" The end. ---------------------------------------

By, Cuz Roye, ....1-434-849-8268.