What About...Me?

There she is! The blue-eyed blonde girl in her lavish piece of clothing, a black classy crepe dress that shapes her slim waist accessorized with her sparkling necklace and diamond earrings that almost certainly telling me I'm out at elbows, she's the popular girl at high school and college back then, that's her, Aki (short for Akisha).

I'm a fortuition person enough to be friends with her, unexpectedly.

Once at the bookstore when we aimed for the same book, that was the only book left of- "To Be Love is Not Enough"- it was an all-time favorite love story that unveils the rigor in relationships and ended up so-so. Well, I am single and Aki too I suppose, but there's no law forbidding singles to get butterflies in the stomach though.

Eventhough I'm deadass wanting that book, looking at this beautiful young lady, I gave it up for her, I'm not a yo-yo and I wouldn't like to be the antagonist in this main character's story.

This angel's benevolence is a boon to this world, she shared the book with me when she came up with a witty idea by asking my social media, and every night when she reads, she reads it for me too!

She's flawless. If no one is perfect, she'd probably be that no one then. She's Miss Fine. Aki lights up every room she enters, and the atmosphere goes seamless. She's always spotted under spotlight and the world is her stage.

"Nice dress, Aki!", I exhilarate.

"Awe, thank you Lei. Cool shirt though." , she smiles as one gentleman pulls her chair out and let her properly seated.

"Anyway, Lei, are you coming to tonight's party?", cupping her face while looking at me, waiting for a reply.

"Party?", looking confuse, I never heard of a party to be held or something to celebrate tonight.

One co-worker beside her taps Aki, leaning and whispers.

"Oh- uhhhh..." the look in her face shows as if she's made a mistake.

"Um sorry Lei, they forgot to tell me it wasn't for everyone, I should've asked first about it.", her angelic smile appears with her innocent eyes.

"Oh, it's okay, it's fine, don't worry."

Aki always invites me with her to parties, she's the best ever! Maybe this time, it was only for the deep-pocketed, it's safer not to go for my impecunious self, I might get the eyes in the chips, unlike Aki, even if she wears plain white shirt and jeans, she still dolls up.

Looking at Aki working, she's like a worker with a worker, someone would give her water and she receives snacks from nowhere, probably admirers, she never runs out of them. She's still single until now though, the line is continuously adding and I wonder what she's still searching for.

She can look from left to right or in front and behind, there's someone waiting for her everywhere; there's a businessman, a popular athlete, a genius guy winning world records from spelling the hardest and longest words while completing the Rubik's cube, and even our boss likes her, everyone does! I'd question someone who doesn't. And so sometimes I wonder if the world was only meant to be made for her...

"Lei, we're going first. See you!", she cheerfully says her goodbye.

"Okay, take care." Looking down through the glassed window, Aki was picked up by a matte black Lamborghini, maybe by her brother. Black is her favourite colour, she said it's simple, and it's everything and nothing at the same time, it's classy, it suits her. She's a living princess in this world, that's how I see her because what else is she asking that wasn't granted? She have everything, I see. I wonder what she is crying about at night, I think, because the story would be boring if she didn't have to go through some adversity.

Well, I too must go home. It's late, I don't get paid more by working for more hours.

...

Under my sheet-built-tent I wonder. For years being her friend, people only come to me to ask about her, how about her, what about her. But, what about me?

No, don't think like that, don't feel that way. Be grateful. Say I am grateful. I am grateful for everything I have and I am contented. I repeat this to myself, rejecting , invalidating the feeling I felt.

But Lei, you're gaslighting yourself! I am not jealous, she's my friend and she's great, she deserve everything she have because she's good. But ain't you, too? What are you doing? This is ego. It's me versus me, I'm going insane.

...

What about my mother? Would she want to listen about me?

"Ma, you never ask about me for a long time now, not even my grades when I was still at school, don't you care?"

"Lei, what is this again? You called for this?Your grades were always fine and you graduated already, you have your own life now, as long as you're doing great, I know you're doing great, because you have to.

Anyway, How's Aki? Send my regards to your prettiest friend."

...

Then maybe, or probably, this world isn't my story to tell, but Aki. Maybe, just maybe, if I did something differently and didn't meet Aki, I could try to turn around and make the world rotate otherwise. I don't want to blame Aki, she's a good friend but she covered me, I'm sorry Aki.

...

"Hello, Lei?", it's Aki at my front door, what is she doing here? I thought they're having a party.

"Oh Aki? How's the party?"

"Well, just slow music and wines and guys in their suits and girls in their fancy dresses, it was more of a principal's speech at school than a party, it's so booooring I left. Now, will you let me in?", showing me her widest smile and broaded her eyes that made me chuckle.

"Ofcourse, sit yourself." Aki, having so many friends, I wonder why among all, she came here to me.

"Aki? Why are you here?" Oh my.

My poor choice of words, this is so awkward, Aki I don't mean to blurt those words out, I was just wondering, it doesn't mean I don't want you here if it sounded like that to you.

"Well, because I just want to. You don't want me here?", her eyebrows furrow and her eyes sparkle, she looks cute like that with those puppy eyes though.

"Oh! no, no, not like that, I'm very glad that you are here actually."

"Let's just talk. I want to know more about you. So, what about you?", interested Aki, cupping her face again.

"What about me?", did I hear that right?

"Yes, Lei, tell me more about you. I was busy the whole time and I'm sorry Lei, you're my friend and you were always there for me, telling people about me, but I only know very few about you. I remember the first time we met because of my favorite book which was also your favorite book, you're an interesting person, Lei. And I don't want to miss anything about you. So, tell me, what about you, Lei?"