Behind These Walls

Behind these walls.

Behind these walls, I am breaking

Behind these walls, my world is crumbling

Behind these walls, my life is falling apart

Behind these walls, no one believes me

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

A strong gut feeling in my stomach. A sharp tug of my heart as a person walks by. This is it. Something is coming. The bile slips up and down my dry throat. Words leave me as I am turned away. Turned away from society. Turned away from the community. A nobody. Destined to live their life with no one. No lover and no story. There is something about to happen. I just know there is. A sharp intake of breath. A quick glance across a room. It's all sliding into place. But no one is any the wiser. Going about their daily business like life is normal. Like life is fine. But it's not. Because behind these walls, behind my walls, everything is crashing down. No one wants to be near me anymore. They say I have the jigs. The fleas. The plague even. It's all ridiculous. It hasn't even been Friday 13th yet and I'm having premonitions.

My hair sweeps to the left of my face and I tie it up into a ponytail. My mascara leaks as it starts to rain. It runs down my face and I feel my face blur into a big mess. Who am I? Someone who runs from society? Someone who runs from their fear of being caught? Another gust of wind and I'm in the air. I catch the trail of wind and let it lead me up to the clouds. The dark moon up above sings down to me, its distant melodies humming a silent tune. I shut my eyes. The pure glory of it engulfs my mind and soul. It sinks into my skin. Whispering, into the dark night. A crow swoops overhead. Another call of bad luck. I need people to believe what I'm saying. I may be the village crazy person but I have a voice. I had a name once too. Not that I remember it. This world is too mucked up for that. My gaze sweeps over the land beneath me. They say that falling in love is wonderful. I wouldn't know. It's never happened to me. Once it did. But all heck broke loose soon after. 

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

It was a couple years back. I was sitting on my front porch. Braiding my hair and humming to myself. A girl walked past. She wore kid clothes, big mushroom earrings were on her ears and a gaze was in her eyes that could kill. It killed my heart in a second. I felt my common sense leave me. Her yellow overalls were like a big highlighter, emphasising her importance in my life. Her hair, short and dark red. Like my heart. She walked past without a second glance. Her honey oak skin glistening in the sunlight. Rosie. That was her name. Rosie. The name still felt new to me. Beautiful. I remember the distinct feeling of being wanted for once in my life. She was the only one who ever believed me. But, alas, she did not feel the way I did. We went from friends to what I hoped was something more, before she broke it off. Never spoke a word to anyone again. So rumour has it.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

A lone tear slides down my cheek as I remember Rosie. Those were the good old days. Before my premonitions. My stomach grumbles. Even if my world is falling apart and tearing at the seams, I still need to eat. I follow the wind trail down and let it land me near a food station. it has a distinct smell, although, I can't place it. Familiar. The emotions it stirs inside of me are sad. Why? I do not know. Only that they echo through my heart as I step inside the glass door. A hot chocolate sits on the counter. Just as it does every day. I take it, downing it. It isn't the good hot chocolate like I'm used to.  But, it'll have to do. I head outside again. Everyone seems cold to me this morning. I feel my facade slip away as a familiar person walks by. I hide my face and glance across at them. An orange tie hangs from their neck. Big baggy jeans wrap around their legs, enormous hoop earrings hang from their earlobes. It's them. It's Dahlia. Dahlia was the one who started me on all these premonitions. We were trapped in the same room as each other in an escape room. She started talking about superstitions. She seemed to be the only one enthusiastic about them. Like me. Now, I am cautious of everything I do. You never know when something bad can happen and I have a feeling something is going to happen.

Right.

Now.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Sydney sat up. Their head was spinning. In front of them was a mug of hot chocolate. A drip was attached to their arm. They screamed. Wanting to get out. A hand clutched at them. A familiar face in the madness. Rosie. They smiled, but it faded as they saw what she held. A big envelope. She was leaving Sydney. Rosie smiled one last time, the feeling of her hand on Sydney's lingered. Sydney was in a hospital. They knew that much. Their mind was spinning, their vision blurry.

"Welcome back."

"From where?" They asked, looking around the desolate room

"You've been in a coma for six years."

A coma? That's why Sydney had felt the way they did. But their world was still crumbling down. Behind these hospital walls sat a person in the dark. Behind these walls sat a person who wanted to start over. For their premonition had just happened. Their feeling that something was going to happen was correct. That bad thing was that they had woken up.

They had fallen asleep in a world of dreams and awoken in a world of nightmares.