Forever, I do

I wake up to a loving message from my soon-to-be husband.

I can't wait to see you, beautiful. I love you <3

I respond with a quick similar message, telling him I love him, too, and jump out of bed. Today is the day - today, I'm getting married. My best friend Eliza comes rushing into my room in the Airbnb, gushing excitement and glee. She squeals as she jumps onto my unmade bed. “Sooooo, are you excited?!”

“Very!” I pause. “But I’m also super nervous about a lot of things… Maybe I’m just getting those wedding jitters?” I look at her with a hint of fear in my eyes.

“I wouldn’t worry about it! That’s normal, Abagail.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” I sigh. I turn to the mirror and look down at the clock sitting on the dresser. “Oh my! It’s getting late! We have to get ready!”

“We have plenty of time.” Eliza giggles. “Come on! Let’s go get your makeup done!” She jumps up off the bed with light in her eyes. She bounces to the door and gestures me to follow her out. I laugh shaking my head and follow. We rush to the other girl’s rooms and wake everyone up. Before we know it, the house is full of laughter and cheers. The photographer shows up about an hour later, and we all begin cleaning up from breakfast and getting ready. As we get ready – our hair, make-up, and even some matching robe photos – the photographer grabs pictures of us all. I can’t help but think of how much fun my groom and his men are having a few doors down.

My mother stops by a little while later in her dress. I have yet to get into mine. She walks into the room with the most endearing smile as tears begin to fill her eyes rapidly. I rush to her and give her the biggest of hugs. “Don’t cry, momma. I’ll cry, too, and then we both will have to redo our makeup.”

She chuckles. “I’m so proud of you… and I love you so very much.”

I pull away and look her in her blue eyes. “I love you, too, momma. Thank you – for everything.” Tears start to fill my eyes once again. We both laugh lightly as I pull away and we both begin fanning my eyes.

The photographer enters the room, “Are you ready, hun?” She gives us a small, polite smile.

I nod. She instructs us around the room and takes pictures of my mom helping me into my wedding dress and shoes. Then she has all the bridesmaids come into the room and takes a few photos all together. The photographer departs from us as she goes down the street to the groomsmen’s Airbnb to take some photos over there. All of us go to the kitchen. Before we leave, Eliza (who is also my maid of honor) comes up to me and gives me a bear hug. “We prepared something for you.” She pulls away and gives me an endearing smile. As she steps back and I turn toward the kitchen island, all of my bridesmaids pull out a flower. Each is holding a different kind and color of flower. Starting with my momma, they go around one by one giving me a piece of advice for my marriage, a hope they have for my future, and a loving statement or memory. As they say their parts, they come put their flower somewhere in my bouquet and give me a hug. With each one, more tears were shared. I look at my white bouquet now featured with splashes of color from the additional flowers. I started tearing up as I realized that, like the flowers, my life was colorless and dull without them. They made it interesting and brought fun to my life. They were all so important. We have one more, long group hug, filled with small giggles and sniffles. We finally head outside where our limo awaits us to take us to the venue for the ceremony.

As we walk to the limo, we are all laughing and chit-chatting. We all get in, blasting some upbeat songs ranging from good ol’ 80s songs to current pop songs. Many of the songs were early 2000s beats, though. We dance around and there was some champagne and sparkling cider for everyone - even my momma is enjoying herself! The venue is around 20 miles away so we would be there in about a half hour.

Upon arriving to the venue, we quickly go to our spots inside. As I looked around the parking lot, I noticed that my fiancé’s car was not there. He’s probably just running late in traffic.

I head inside with the rest of my party and we go to our spots behind closed doors for the entrance of the aisle to walk down. By the time we all get to our spots and my father stands beside me, it’s time to release our party pair by pair. My mother stands in front of me, walking down my older brother. My father leans over to me and whispers in my ear, “I love you, you know… you’ll always be my little princess. If you ever need anything, remember you can always come home.” He pulls away and winks with his teary eyes.

I tear up a little bit and stand up a little higher to kiss him on the cheek and lay my head on his shoulder. “Thank you, daddy. I love you, too.” We smile and just stand there for a minute. After a little while, my dad checks his watch and shows me. Fifteen minutes later than we were supposed to start… what is going on? I lean forward and nudge my brother. “Where is Miguel?” I look at him alarmed.

“I’m not sure.” He stares at the ground for a second, rummaging his brain. “He left a little before us because he wanted to go pick something up from a shop nearby.”

“Was it the rings?” My momma pipes in.

“No, Daryl has those… He said it was a gift for you, Abbie.”

I look at him with concerned expression. Eliza comes back to me. “Hey, it’s going to be okay, Abbie… It’s your call though. What do you want to do?”

“Well…” I pause, deep in thought. There were many options to this. “We will wait for about 10 more minutes… if Miguel still isn’t here, we will start the wedding. If I reach the altar before him, we will just wait for a little while. I’m sure he’s just caught in traffic. Did he say where this shop was?”

My brother replies, “He just said it was a little out of the way. I think it was a little bit west of this venue.”

I nod. I instruct Eliza to relay the information to the officiant and we continue to wait. As 7:30 rolls around, we start the wedding. Each pair, one by one, goes through the doors and enters the aisle. Open, close. Open, close. Open, close. The doors open for every pair. Soon enough, it comes to my father and I. I take a deep breath as the doors open for us. Finally.

We take slow strides down the aisle as the wedding march is played by the orchestra. I notice my fiancé is still not at the altar. I try not to cry… What if he stood me up? What did I do wrong? Is he okay? Did I say something to upset him? Did he get cold feet? Questions started to flood my mind and tears warmed my eyes. I took another deep breath.

My father kissed my cheek and whispered, “It’ll be okay, honey,” as he let me go at the altar. I looked to my brother with fear, but his expression was hard. I can hear the guests all clamoring and whispering. Finally, as 8:30 rolls around, I look to the officiant and ask for his microphone.

I take a deep, shaky breath. “Well, folks, I guess I’m going to have to cancel the rest of the wedding… I’m very sorry; I know many of you have driven a long way. It appears that I’ve been stood-” Before I can get another word in, the entry doors burst open with Miguel’s father standing there frantically breathing. I had been so consumed by my anxiety that I hadn’t even noticed he left the room.

“We need to leave… Now!” He shouts breathlessly, eyes wide with fear. I furrow my brows in confusion.

My mother calmly asks, “What’s going on, Arthur?” She slowly starts walking down the short aisle toward him, approaching with caution.

“It’s Miguel…” His voice shakily trails off and breaks as he says his son’s name. My mother stops in her tracks and turns to me. Tears of fear flood my eyes and my heart rate skyrockets. I feel a crushing weight and as though my world is crashing down. I feel as though my chest might explode and my hands shake violently. I start running as fast as I can in my heels down the altar and toward Arthur. He runs out and my wedding party follows. We all jump into various vehicles of our own and race toward the hospital.

When we get in, the receptionist asks who we are there to see. Arthur gives his son’s name. “Well, seeing as he is in critical condition, we can allow so many people at once in his room… and it’s outside guest hours. Only family is also allowed.” She absent-mindedly explains.

My heart drops and my mind goes rampant with thoughts at the words critical condition. Something came over me and I step forward. “Listen, I don’t want to be rude or anything – but my fiancé is in that room and we were supposed to get married today.” I gesture toward my get-up.

“So… you two aren’t married yet?” She looks at me and I shake my head. “Then I’m afraid I cannot allow you to enter back there at all.”

I become instantly furious and tears starts rushing down my face. “The love of my LIFE is back there! He is family to all of us,” I gesture to my wedding party, “blood or not. You either allow us back there, or we will find him ourselves. I love him too much to not be there for him.” I’m breathing heavily and all eyes in the lobby are on us.

The receptionist gives me a look of sympathy… “He’s in room B38 on the second floor… Josh!” She calls over her shoulder. “Show them to B38, please.” He nods and gestures us to the elevator. I mouth a silent thank you to the receptionist before racing to the elevator. We all climb in and this gentleman brings us to Miguel’s room, knocks, then opens the door. When I get through the doors, I pause in my tracks and gasp. He’s all battered and bruised.

“What happened…?” I whisper, horrified.

“There was a massive accident on West 13^th… A drunk driver in a large F150 hit his sedan… the driver was drunken and ran a red light.” Josh says quietly. Tears stream down my face and I take the seat next to his bed slowly. My voice is extremely shaky. “He’s currently on life support… but, we don’t think he will make it past tonight. I’m so sorry…” The kind nurse leaves room to give us some privacy. I hold my love’s hand caress it. I listen to the sniffles around the room, including my own. I pray he opens his eyes. We stay there as the nurses come in and out. Much of the bridal party goes home when the doctor tells us Miguel seems to be doing better and may fully mend. Eliza offers to bring me a pair of clothes to change into before she leaves with her husband around midnight.

“No, thank you. I want him to see me in it if he wakes up… Then we could finish getting married right here…” My voice cracks with each word I say.

“Alright, hun… let me know if anything changes, okay?” She comes over and gives me a teary-eyed smile and a strong hug. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Liz… Thank you.” I sit down and focus on the love of my life. My mother stays next to me and rubs my back. “You should get rest, momma. You’re exhausted.”

“It’s okay.” She gives me a weak smile that I’m unable to return.

Around 1:30 AM I hear a sound I never wanted to hear. It’s loud and piercing. Everything becomes a blur as a flood of medical professionals fill the room.

“Clear!”

“Clear!”

“Clear!”

Miguel was determined deceased at 2:02 AM. I scream and cry and wail. I went by his bedside for one last good-bye… “I love you… Always and…” I shakily whisper, holding his lifeless hand. “Forever…” I pause as a cry comes out and I choke on my words. I barely form these next words. They come out weak and I cry. The mascara-filled tear stains continuing to fall on my dress. 

“I do.”