6 comments

General

Tod was all smiles as the jeep pulled up to a stop and the five friends all piled out. It had been just over a year since last time when they’d made their hurried escape.

“Where do we want our tent setup, Honey?” he asked, catching Samantha’s eye as he started to unpack.

“You can set up your two person love nest as far away from me as possible, please!” Samantha’s brother Andrew quipped, making kissing noises before screwing his face up in disgust.

After the failure of last year’s attempt Tod had focused on Andrew’s sister tenfold. Chocolates and flowers had been a regular delivery to the Freelings’ house, much to Andrew’s horror. His sister had enjoyed the chocolates but binned the flowers, allergic to many natural perfumes. Boxes of sweets had not won the girl’s heat. What in truth did change Samantha’s mind was the song Tod had written and then performed for her, at her seventeenth birthday party. The couple was now inseparable. Andrew could not understand, Tod still loved to tell lame jokes and his supposed horror stories were just as terrible. For some impossible to understand reason Samantha loved having the goofball around, a lot. During their alone times Andrew swore he heard plenty of giggling in between the sound of lips squishing together.

Michelle and Amanda took the three person palace that last year had been set aside for the girls. Andrew gave them a hand setting it up before he found his bedroll.

“I’ll pop the rods in and start gathering some kindling,” Andrew suggested once his lonely sleeping quarters were hammered into place.

“We’ll hunt for a few bigger bits,” Mandy suggested. “You girls coming to give me a hand?” she added, hopeful.

“Coming!” sighed Michelle who always hated looking for wood.

“I might stay back with Tod,” suggested Samantha.

“Oooooooooooo!” chorused the girls together.

“To help unload all the food,” quickly added Tod.

“Yeah, right,” said Andrew, disappointed. He had hoped Tod would have suggested he’d tag along.

Tod was not much of a fisherman but he was good to chat with, especially when he was not trying to tell jokes or scare his friends. Andrew missed serious Tod. It had been at least six months since the guys had just hung out.

“I’ll join you when we’re done,” Tod promised.

“Done smooching?” asked Michelle, innocently.

“That will never happen,” followed Amanda.

Both girls laughed.

“Whatever,” Andy murmured as he grabbed the fishing gear.

 

Memories flooded back to Andrew as he stood alone on the bank of the lake. The thick fir forest that surrounded the silvery waters gave this place a cozy feeling, at least during the day. Presently he could hear Michelle and Mandy foraging for decent sized logs, limbs from the pine needled giants that all the friends knew burned fast and hot. They would need lots of wood, even for just the two days they planned to stay. Thinking of night and the crackle of the fire Andy’s thoughts drifted back to their swift escape from last year.

There was a loud crack directly behind him causing Andy to turn swiftly, eyes wide open.

“I’d almost got you!” Tod laughed. “See I told you I’d come and help.”

“Help give me a heart attack?” replied Andy, scowling at first but then giving his friend a relieved smile.

“I thought I was her didn’t you,” Tod said with a toothy grin.

“Nah,” Andy said, unconvincingly.

“Do you remember what she said?” Tod stated, suddenly serious.

“Has anyone seen my husband, boys?” growled Andy in a deadpan voice.

“No it was more like… Have you seen my husband, boys?” said Tod, his voice more crypt-like.

“I remember you standing there like a stunned mullet…” continued Andy as he began tying the hooks to the nylon using that special knot his grandfather had taught him.

“I thought that was you mate, the stunned mullet.” Tod shot back.” I definitely remember you needed me to tell you the woman was dangerous…”

“Yeah,” agreed Andrew. “She looked cold so of course I was going to invite her back for a brandy.”

“We remember you two yelling as you ran back to camp,” stated Mandy.

The sudden appearance of all three girls behind them shocked both boys.

“Pretty sure that was how your faces looked as you burst in on us having a girl power moment,” said Samantha.

“Ripped out of our tent and thrown back into the jeep,” recalled Michelle.

“We saved you,” Tod pleaded.

“Pretty sure that was thanks to my brother,” added Samantha, staring at Andy proudly.

“Yeah, well, needless to say it cost us a bundle to by new tents and gear but now we’re here and it is going to be a great weekend,” stated Tod, attempting to draw his girlfriend’s eyes back his way.

Andy coughed, embarrassed.

“Yeah… Well… How about you all finish up gathering the wood and then Tod and I get the fire started.”

“We can have hot potatoes with sour cream and coleslaw for lunch in an hour or two,” suggested one of the girls.

“Maybe with a fish or two if we’re lucky,” added Tod, giving his mate a hopeful look.

“We shall see what the lake is willing to give,” replied Andy as he cast the first of three rods.

As the five friends watched the float bobbing on the pristine waters they soaked up the silence.

Mandy broke it after only a few seconds.

“They did find that woman, didn’t they Tod?”

“Yeah Tod, do you remember if there was a hunt for her?”

Tod shook his head.

“We reported it when we got back home, but I’m pretty sure we got told it was a different district… Something to do with zoning…”

“Any way,” began Andy. “I’m fairly sure the woman is as dead as her husband.”

“Or at least moved on,” said Tod.

“I guess it would be too harsh an area to live out here on your own,” agreed Michelle.

“Especially during the Fall and Winter months,” added Samantha.

“Let’s go find that wood,” suggested Tod.

 

Andrew joined the other four soon after he was satisfied the three rods were secured. He had them running on a free line and then tied each rod to a post. Unless it was a really big fish, anything that the hooks caught would be bending the rods when he got back to check on them. It only took the five friends half an hour to gather up sufficient armfuls of twigs, needles and logs to at least get the fire started for lunch. As the five stepped back into camp they discovered the lady waiting for them.

“I knew you would return,” she laughed.

Her eyes were bloodshot, hair mattered and her pale skin was covered in scratches.

“Quick everyone, get into the jeep!” Tod ordered.

The woman brandished Andy’s filleting knife.

“Don’t bother,” she purred. “I’ve cut the fuel line and disabled the brakes.”

“Run!” urged Andy.

“Yes, run my little rabbits!” laughed the woman. “For this time there will be no escape.”

As the five friends bolted off in differing directions they each clearly heard the cackle of insanity. It promised each one of them a slow and agonizing death.

May 02, 2020 23:59

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

6 comments

Mr Jingo
04:08 May 17, 2020

Very nice descriptions and atmosphere ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ A few things to consider, I think the introduction of the scary lady was abrupt and could've used more foreshadowing to build tension. Having the reader learn more about her gradually throughout the story could accomplish this. I'd also advise picking names that don't start with the same letter to avoid confusion (Andrew/Amanda & Michelle/Mandy), as well as choosing to call Andrew either "Andrew" or "Andy" at the start and sticking with it.

Reply

Tim Law
06:57 May 19, 2020

Thanks Mr Jingo... The scary lady appeared in the original story (featured on my blog). This story for Reedsy is a continuation of that post. I forgot that readers may not have the background information from reading that initial story. Worst sin of the writer... Never assume! Thanks for the feedback.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Hawwa Yusuf
17:57 May 14, 2020

great story!

Reply

Tim Law
23:07 May 15, 2020

Thanks Hawwa. I’m so glad you liked it. I thought your story about friendship was great too.

Reply

Hawwa Yusuf
17:24 May 16, 2020

thanks!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Tim Law
21:58 May 08, 2020

I originally wrote about these friends on my blogger site in 2017. Made sense to revisit them with this prompt.

Reply

Show 0 replies
RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

Bring your short stories to life

Fuse character, story, and conflict with tools in Reedsy Studio. 100% free.