New Year's Resolutions

1) To lose thirty Pounds. 2) To get back in the dating scene 3) To get my credentials back. 4) To get the stalker off my back. 5) To move back to a suburb of Chicago and change church memberships. 6) To get Kristen back or to visit Kristen. 6) To win the Publisher's Clearance House and/or the Mega Millions, 7) To get married and have kids (I know it contradicts number 6. Sue me). 8) To keep sober. 9) To build muscles. 10) To have free time and sleep. 11) To get a CDL-A, B, and C. 12) To say no. 13) To be happy. 14) To set reasonable goals. 15) To get rid of unnecessary goals. 16)  To stop giving a fuck about everything and everyone. 17) To borrow less books at a time from the library. 18) To ask for hugs when I want them instead of being jealous. 19) To just be. 20) To audition for the Conservatory at Second City and get in. 21) To buy and own a home an a Ford Fusion (see 6). 22) To cuddle. 23) To get a dog to cuddle with. 24) To get my credentials as an Ordained Minister. 25) I'm published with a best seller and rich. 26) I got another neuro-psyche and I'm normal. 27) I've mastered the law of attraction. 28) I'm going to the spoon bending class in New York in the summer. 29) I have a jacuzzi bathtub in my home where I can soak every night and sleep well. 30) Massages all the time. 31) There's a flowrider around the corner. 32) I'm in graduate school in art at Julliard or DePaul. 33) I got all my old contacts, notes, e-mail, Facebook, etc. back. 35) Legal guardianship is now illegal everywhere. 36) I'm in a state where marijuana is legal. 37) The dog lives in our home and comes in bed with us. 38) I can drive, skateboard, bike, subway, or train anywhere. 39) I'm in the Church of the Spirit every Sunday morning. 40) I have scanning skills and can drive alone. 41) I got the tattoos I've wanted. 42) To go skydiving. 43) To go coal walking. 44) To achieve peace between Russia and Ukraine. 45) To buy a house in Lily Dale. 46) Lots and lots of hugs. 47) Visit a state with legalized marijuana. 48) Eat new foods like squirrel, bear, rat, cow brains, etc. 49) To appeal. 50) To get into competitive weight lifting. 51) Join a bowling league. 52) Learn tap dance. 53) To get to sleep whenever I want. 54) To be given total freedom and financial freedom. 55) French food. 56) Peace, quiet, massage, rest, incense, 57) To be a hermit 58) To never be asked stupid questions or any questions by idiots ever again. Like ever. 59) To win on Worst Cooks in America 60) A padlock and a hand gun 61) Be an official member of the AANR 63) To get stem-cells done, 64) To laugh more. 65) To have feelings again (maybe) 66) I complete everything I start. 67) I'm around women my own age who are smart and hug. 68) I now know how to fold. 69) I can tie my shoes. 70) I can view all websites on my laptop and cellphone. 71) I'm done with everything and can relax. 72) My parents are proud of me and so are the Hill family. 73) I'm famous, rich, and published. 74) My art work is in art museums.  75) Stephanie took us to art museums and explained the art to us. 76) I'm free of pain. 77) I have a job I love that pays $1,000,000.00 a year. 78) I get to go to all the concerts I want for free and enjoy them. 79) A woodburning cave to finish my gourds. 80) Woodcarving club membership.  81) I'm in SAMs again. 82) I visit Port St. Lucie and Orlando any time I want. 83) Gourmet food. 84) A librarian to organize my books 85) $100.00 bills. 86) Hair growth on my head 87) A razor that always stays sharp. 88) A veternarian. 89) A dream again.  90) Terry Bozzio's drumset. 91) My own gym with all the equipment. 92) A nutritionist. 93) A personal trainer. 94) Steak tartare at a restaurant. 95) Wagyu beef. 96) Fancy meal in New York with Kristen we saw tv show of. 97) A sound-proof booth. 98) A space ship to get away. 99) A comedian. 100) Friends who understand boundaries/borders. 101) A restraining order against Allison. 102) Hope. 103) A psychiatrist who believes in talk therapy and coping mechanisms instead of medications. 104) An assistance dog. 105) A self-motivation device. 106) To be the winner every time I take a Walmart Survey. 107) To know everything about everything. 108) To be a millionaire from Jeopardy. 109) An appeal and a fair trial. 110) I get all my perscriptions at Walmart with a pill dispenser. 111) A working blood pressure machine. 112) Sleep. 113) To win. 114) To go on a cruise with Kristen with all the soda we can drink, making love, exploring new places, having fun. 115) To go back to Bellas in Toledo. 116) To go to Makata in Port St. Lucie. 117) To go to Moma Joe's Pizza in Solon. 118) To go to the Chinese Buffet in Bowling Green, Ohio. 119) To hear the grunge in Seattle, Washington. 120) To go to Bath Houses in San Francisco. 121) To go to Celebrate Life in San Francisco. 122) To go to any single's bar with people my age. 123) To be free and to make my own choices. 124) To make love to my girlfriend and cuddle beside her all night. 125) Deep meditations and relaxations. 126) Past life regressions. 127) To hug Neena again. 128) To hug Kristen again. 129) To have a slow-cooked meal from Kristen. 130) 24 hour salad. 131) For Mom to die before Dad of natural causes. 132) Children of my own. 133) To taste her breast milk from her breast. 134) To know what it feels like to have sex with a virgin. 135) To be complete. 136) To not have any more wants. 137) To start a home circle. 138) My constitutional rights back. 139) Freedom. 140) To be done and proud of myself. 141) Less clubs and expectations. 142) A fridge full of food I enjoy. 143) A professional cook. 144) Hassintheffer. 145) Looney Tunes parifinalia. 146) An empty schedule. 147) A trivia team. 148) A debating society. 149) Recycling. 150) A mailbox of my own. 151) A knock-free door. 152) The full Ren and Stimpy collection. 153) Univeral Plus 154) a Digital Video Recorder again. 155) Sleep. 156) Choice. 157) Suicide (sometimes). 158) A way out/to be free. 159) anti-depressants. 160) An escape/drug/tv/music/writing/art, anything. Get me out. 161) A nylon slip. 162) Something to shave my chest and back. 163) A Lazor hat to regrow my hair. 164) Freedom to decide my own medications. 165) Midol. 166)  Stay out of the psyche ward. 167) Cross dress 168) More hugs 169) Less prescriptions 170) Boundaries and boundaries 171) Learn self sufficiency, 173) Breathe Deeply 174) Less coffee, 175) See specialist doctors 176) Take time off. 177) Healthy eating 176) Pick career and stick to it 177) Attend church in person and hug everyone. 178) Buy a bulletproof vest. 179) Take a trip to see the aurora borealis in Alaska and go dog sledding. 180) See live strippers, 181) Prostitutes in Vegas 182) Stem cell therapy. 182) Cognitive therapy. 183) Psychologist 185) Get back in shape 186) Personal trainer, 187) Insomnia anonymous 188) Cross dress, 189) Do nothing, 190) Say no more often. 191) Change color of room, 192) Organizing my room, 193) Financial freedom, 194) Single bars 195) Maybe I need to make my list of New Year's resolutions shorter because most people give up on their New Year's resolutions before January is over.