Office whispers

At twenty two years of age, I was the only woman on the technical team when I started working. Around me, there were engineers and technicians, and me: the girl, the woman. I was also one of the youngest and eager to do whatever was necessary to be successful, as long as it was work-related and did not require my personal time. There was a time when I was good at setting personal boundaries.

For years, I was surrounded by those men, listened to their stories, and learned from them. Some became almost paternal figures, and others reminded me that not everyone is to be trusted, but no matter what, I always maintained good professional relationships with my colleagues. Since the beginning, I asked them to treat me like any other guy, and after a while, they did. The funny thing, though, about demanding equality is that it works for the good and the bad stuff, so whenever they spoke with no shame about women, they started to expect me to do the same. They liked to tell each other detailed stories about who they had met, where, and how. They complained about girlfriends and wives, pitted each other, and encouraged the "free ones" to never get caught by any woman. Then, they asked me about my days, my friends, and my views on their lives.

Soon, it became clear that I could listen to them, but I was not willing to share who I fancied or not, so the guys started talking and whispering on my back. 

"She is single and available, so why wouldn't she be interested in any of the guys working next to her?" someone said.

"Surely there is something wrong with me," others replied. 

They pitied me: 

"How could she say no to such capable and attractive suitors?"

And they were right; there was something, but it was not bad... I had a rule: "Never date someone from work," and I lived according to it. On the one hand, it made my dating life a little bit more challenging, but on the other, it made my life at work much easier. Of course, some colleagues tried to invite me to coffee or dinner, but I always treated them as friends and nothing else. That's how we lived and worked together: with me listening to the guy's stories and with them imagining all the things I never told them, gossiping like little girls in the schoolyard. In their minds, I dated all the new guys in the company until they discovered they had girlfriends, were married, or were gay. There were times when I became the temptress who broke relationships and mistreated poor and innocent men... but that never happened. My life was much less interesting than all their fantasies, and I learned that ignoring their imagination was the healthiest way to live my life. But then, it arrived the day that I broke my rule. I broke nothing else, no relationship, no poor man's heart. I just felt for someone new at work... what a sin! 

By the time I started dating someone from work, my job had already changed. I was no longer a technician or "another engineer" but part of the company's commercial team. Around me, there were no working benches but laptops and suits; there were men and women, and the conversations were about money instead of technical specifications. Still, there was something that never changed: there were whispers, gossip, and, again, questions I did not want to reply to. After a couple of months of dating, I introduced my now husband to a reduced amount of people at my boss' house. We were celebrating the result of one of the team's latest projects, and since my boyfriend had worked on the technical side, it seemed almost the perfect occasion for us to be together. Everyone liked him, and there were a couple of jokes, but then, they forgot about the whole couple thing. As I said, my life was relatively dull, and there is only a certain amount of gossip a stable relationship can provide. 

Two weeks later, I attended a critical meeting with potential customers from Russia. I was in the conference room in the management building together with my boss, the company's CEO, and the two people we were supposed to convince to get into business together. By ten in the morning, all the men were drinking port wine, and when lunch arrived, the poison changed to a diverse array of gins and whiskey. As my manager recommended, I drank water the whole day, so that meeting was not as entertaining as it seemed to be for them. During lunch, I sat by the right-hand side of the CEO; my boss was on the left, and the potential customers were in front of us, discovering the world of wines and spirits. I was minding my own business when the boss of my boss asked me: 

"So, I believe you are dating someone..."

I looked at him, at my boss, and my plate. I smiled at him and put a piece of food in my mouth. He seemed confused for a bit, looked at my boss, then at me again, and asked:

"Who are you dating?"

I finished chewing my food, and I replied, cool as a cucumber:

"I don't think you should be worried about that."

The CEO looked at the men in front of us, who were giggling- we never knew if it was because of my answer or the effects of the alcohol- and then fixed his eyes on my boss:

"Who is she dating?"

"I don't know."

Of course, it was not true, but that man, right there, decided not to give his boss what he wanted, which was both scary and inspiring.

The CEO then turned to me again, put his face really close to mine, and said:

"You know I can know whatever I want."

"Nice," I replied.

He blushed. It seemed his head was about to explode. He picked up his phone from his jacket and called his assistant:

"Hello, yes, I need to know who Ella is dating... yes, the Spanish one... yes, as soon as possible."

He finished the call and looked at me with a spooky smile.

"It will not take too much, don't worry."

One hour later, lunch was over, and my boss, his boss, and the Russians were over. I drove back to the office while the men called taxis to return to wherever they could: work, home, hotel, or the next bar. I was about to sit at my desk when one of the office assistants called me and asked me to go to her desk due to "very urgent matters." I power-walked my way to her office, and the moment she saw me entering the room, she asked:

"What have you done?"

"What do you mean?" I replied.

"I've received a call from the management office asking me who you are dating," she continued.

"And what did you tell them?" I asked.

"The truth. I don't know!"

"Then, there is no problem, right?"

"Yes, because I've spent the last half hour checking a list someone prepared to try to find out who you're dating. Girl, I had to go through the names of too-old, too-young, and too-married guys from the office. Why is the man so interested?"

"Because I did not tell him."

"Why?"

"Because it's none of his business."

"But one day, he'll know..."

"Probably."

I smiled at her, excused myself because I had contracts to develop, and headed to the door when she called me:

"Ella!"

"Yes?"

"Since you are here... can I know who you are dating?"

"It's better if you don't; that way, you won't have to lie," I told her, leaving the room.

I did not speak about this episode with my colleagues. My boss just winked at me the next time we met. There were no whispers or gossip about me that week, but there were many about a particular CEO who arrived late and drunk at home and was left without dinner as a punishment. Ultimately, most of our lives seemed dull outside the office, and the whispers didn't care where we sat...