Win-Win

Focus, she thought.

           She’d been standing there, towering over the creature for several minutes. She could hear him talking, but she wasn’t registering what he was saying.

What the hell IS he?

“And what do you think of that, my dear?”

An elf? A gnome? A leprechaun? No, a leprechaun would be dressed in green, wouldn’t he? He’s got ears like Spock, that alien from Star Wars. No, that’d be Star Trek.

“Did you HEAR me, dear?” He lifted his hands up, palms towards her and waved them back and forth.

Oh no, he’s getting impatient. Focus!

“I’m sorry. I’ve been so distracted lately. Too much going on, I guess. I just bought a new car. First one!” She beamed and paused, but the creature stared at her blankly. “Anyway, forgive me. I should introduce myself; my name is Petunia.”

“Criminy! Not another one named after a flower! Rose, Lily, Iris, Daisy. Hazel, Poppy or Violet - who cares? Did I ask your name? I certainly didn’t ask about what’s been happening in your life.”

“Hmm, I think ‘hazel’ is a tree, not a flower… isn’t it?”

The creature raised his eyebrow and contorted his mouth. Then he rolled his eyes and growled. She knew she’d said the wrong thing and should be afraid of the way he was reacting, but she stood still and calm, transfixed by the look of him.

His eyes are way too big for his face, that’s what’s it is, she thought. Maybe he’s a troll. Are trolls that short? Could be a gremlin. Oh, hold on - what are those characters from the “Lord of the Rings” called?

“Hel-looo! Didn’t anyone ever teach you it was impolite to stare?”

“Oh! I’m sorry! Where are my manners?”

“What-e-ver.”

Hobbits! Yes. Oh, but they’re fictional, not mythological. Wait, what IS happ…

“Can you please focus? Dagnabbit!”

Hmm, I think I hear the hint of a southern accent in his voice.

”Son of a biscuit! Listen and listen good. We’re gonna settle this straightaway!”

           He’s got a mean streak, that’s for sure.

Petunia decided the creature must be some sort of southern demon. With that out of the way, she found it easier to concentrate on what he was saying.

           “It’s win-win, you understand me? You go to the other side of that crick back there and…”

           Crick instead of creek. I knew I was right, a southerner!

           “Are you listening?”

           “Yes, sir, I assure you I am,” she said, proud to have remembered that southern people like to be addressed more formally. “You’ve got my full attention. Sir.”

           The demon creature sighed. “So, when you get to the live oak…”

           “Live oak?”

           “The BIG TREE! The biggest tree you’ll see across the crick!”

           “Understood, sir. Big oak, got it, sir.” She nodded her head up and down several times.

           The southern demon started enunciating every word as clearly as he could. His drawl became comical, but Petunia was now being extra careful to mind her manners - she knew how impolite it was to laugh at somebody else’s accent. She tried her best to be attentive to what he was saying.

 “When you gi-it to the lah-ive oak, the big tree, knock on the trunk three times – one, two, three, you understand? And then, put your hands out like this.”

           He stretched his arms out in front of him and curved the palms of his hands together to  form a cup.

           His arms are way too short, she thought. Not at all proportional to the rest of his body.

He went on and on about what a good deal it was. A goldfinch would fly down from the top of the tree and drop a small parchment scroll into her cupped hands, she would carry it back to him and in return, he would grant her a wish.

           “Win-win, you see?”

           “Shouldn’t it be three wishes?” she asked.

           “For the love of Pete! Do I look like a doggone genie to you? One wish is an excellent offer! You won’t get better around here. And I’m telling you, you’d better take it quick, before I change my mind!”

           “Now, sir, please. You’re starting to remind me of that awful man at the car dealership. And I walked out on him! I didn’t appreciate his high-pressure tactics, no sir, I did not. I bought my car online, that’s what I ended up doing. No commission for him!”

           The demon opened his mouth, but no sound came out.

           What followed was the longest period of silence since they’d met.

           She could now hear the water trickling behind her.

Makes sense, she thought. That’s the direction he pointed to when he talked about the creek.

There was a high-pitched twittering in the distance.

That must be the song of the goldfinch he mentioned.

 “Miss… Miss…?” The demon was trying to get her attention but clearly couldn’t remember her name.

She looked at him but said nothing.

“Petunia?”

Her lips curled up, not quite forming a smile.

“Miss Petunia, pretty Miss Petunia. I think we got off on the wrong foot, my dearest Petunia. Now let me…”

“No sir, no. Don’t try to sweet-talk me now.” Petunia was not going to let herself be manipulated. “You’re a foul-mouthed creature, that much I know. Don’t try to sound all gentleman-like now. You don’t care about me. You need something from me. Why?”

“It’s WIN-WIN!”

“WHY?”

His little face became a purplish-red shade.

Petunia looked down at her skirt. Hey, exact same colour!

He stomped his right foot, pirouetted and yelled out, “Sufferin’ succotash!”

Petunia let out a giggle. She couldn’t help it. He pirouetted! Not to mention this latest expletive. The only time she’d ever heard that expression was in a cartoon.

“Why are you laughing?”

“You sound like that cat!” She started laughing so hard she could barely get the words out. “That… rascally… cartoon… cat. Oh, you know the one…”

“Stop laughing!”

“What WAS his name?”

“I will not be laughed at!” His voice boomed out.

It was suddenly dark as night. Petunia gasped.

“I will not be compared to some cartoon cat!” he roared.

A violent, unseasonably cold wind started blowing from all directions at once. Petunia shivered but did not shake.

The little demon smirked.

Petunia stood firm. She tilted her neck down to look him in the eye.

Ugly outsized eyes! Ugh!

The wind blew straight into her face, which made her blink.

No way, southern demon! You think your tricks are gonna scare me?

She took a step towards him.

This took him by surprise. He stepped back and tripped on a rock. This must have distracted him from his spell because the dark clouds faded away and the sun shone bright again.

It was hilarious to see the little guy fall on his behind like that, but Petunia refused to laugh. No, now that she realized that she had the upper hand in this negotiation, she stood tall.

“Win-win, huh?” she said. “Pfft!” She lifted her index finger to point. “You need something from me.”

He jumped up and brushed himself off. He was about to say something, but Petunia continued before he could say a word.

 “I don’t need to make a WISH. I’ve got everything I need. Good day, sir.”

She turned to walk away. For a split second, she hesitated. She was a little nervous that she couldn’t remember from which direction she’d come to get here, but she didn’t let that stop her.

This way, she said to herself. Just walk and keep walking.

She hadn’t even taken two steps when he called out to her.

“Wait! Miss Petunia!”

           She could hear it in his voice, he was choking back a sob.

           “Please, wait.”

           Hmm… maybe the beastly creature has a heart after all.

Once he’d apologized for his behaviour and told her about the curse that left him unable to cross the creek, Petunia gladly agreed to do him the favour.

           “You understand now, right? I’m STUCK here – and the love of my life is on the other side!”

Who wouldn’t be moved by such a tale of forbidden love? Petunia definitely had a soft spot for such things.

“You should have told me from the start, I would…”

“She’s my heart and soul, Miss. I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced such a passion! And, let me tell you, she’s as pretty as a peach, she is. Sweeter than cherry pie!”

“How wond…”

“WOE IS ME!”

Well, he’s a little over the top, but he seems sincere, Petunia thought as she walked

toward the creek. I just wish he’d stop following me.

           “You know, you can wait here…”

“Can you imagine being kept apart from your treasured sweetheart in such

a pitiless fashion?”

“Well, I can’t say…”

 “BLASTED CURSE!”

Petunia quickened her step. The sooner I can get this over with, the better.

“Oh, Miss Petunia! Such a nasty fate for my beautiful buttercup and I! Damned to

communicate by goldfinch-delivered notes for the rest of our lives! Do you know what I wrote in my last message to her? I said…”

“Hang on.” Petunia stopped so suddenly that the little guy bumped right into her. He stumbled but didn’t fall.

She turned to him. “I’m confused. Am I delivering a note from you to her?”

           “Oh no! I wish! But we must take turns. I’m now awaiting her reply. The goldfinch is quite particular, you see. It’s my turn to receive HER scroll.”

Particular. Huh.

“And this bird refuses to fly over the creek to deliv…”

“For fear of retribution, Miss! A cruel addendum to the punishment which forces me to strike bargains with passing strangers.”

“Retribu…”

“It’s the law, you see. No one is supposed to associate with the likes of me.”

           “Well, I’m sorry to hear that. But I gotta tell you, you’re not gonna make any new friends on this side of the creek if you keep acting the way you did with me earlier.”

           “Well, usually, it works,” he said, tilting his head to one side and winking at her.

           Ugh. Just as slimy as that car salesman. Petunia wanted to end her association with this cunning bully as soon as possible.

“Why don’t you wait here?” she said. “The creek is right there. I’ll be back with your scroll before you know it.”

           “Ok, I guess I could rest in the shade for…”

           Petunia darted towards the creek. She easily crossed it by using the large stepping stones.

The oak tree was magnificent. She stepped under its canopy of branches and knocked on the trunk as instructed. The bird came and went so quickly, she barely realized what had happened until she noticed the tiny scroll in her hands.

As she prepared to cross back, she noticed the lovesick creature on the other side, jumping up and down and waving his little arms at her.

I wonder what she sees in him, Petunia thought as she lifted her skirt and hopped onto the first stone.

As she was about to step onto shore, the creature stretched his arm out in her direction.

Maybe he is a gentleman, Petunia thought, reaching out to him.

 But instead of helping her climb off the final stone, he snatched the scroll out of her hand.

Well, he is… whatever he is.

He hopped around like a little line-dancing cowboy for a few moments then asked, “Do you want your wish now?”

           “Nah. I’m happy I could help you out. I just want to get home; this whole thing has really tired me out. I need some rest.”

When she opened her eyes, she felt refreshed and alert. Her bedroom window was open. This was unusual. She normally shut and locked the window at night - but she’d forgotten before, so she wasn’t that concerned.

However, when a goldfinch landed on her windowsill, sang a little tune and flew away, she found it odd.

           She rolled over to push herself up from the bed, but her purplish-red skirt got tangled up in the sheets. She chuckled. It had not been a dream.

“You wouldn’t take no for an answer, eh?” she said out loud. “Well, okay then, you held up your part of the bargain. Win-win.”

I wanted to get home, and I needed some rest, she thought. Wait… isn’t that technically two wishes he granted me?

“So, the sneaky little demon turned out to be the bigger man after all!” she yelled out. A high-pitched twittering could be heard in the distance.

Petunia sat on the edge of her bed and offered up a little prayer.

May the creature’s magnanimity have an influence, like, perhaps the curse could be lifted so that he can be reunited with his beloved? Blessings on them both.

           She stood up and added, then he can stop trying to strike bargains with random strangers. Ultimate win-win.