Happy For You

I just write what I feel. I don’t have time to worry about what people think. I’m a freelance writer, and I’ve got to get the product out there. They can say what they want. I’ve got to move on to the next story. It’s not an issue. Don’t act like you care.

What else am I supposed to do? I have to keep food on the table and a roof over my head. I do my own critiquing. One star, no star, doesn’t matter. No one reads it. One person reads it. I’m the one. Great. I’ve got to move on. Don’t act like you don’t know it. Whatever happens, happens. I just move on to the next story; a hundred people may like it a hundred people may not. I don’t care.

That’s how you make it in this world. I can’t allow my feelings to control my actions, or I’ll never get anything done. I’ll never write anything. And that’s how it is with everything. I’ve got to make that money. No matter what it is. If it’s writing, working in that warehouse, riding that forklift, or driving that truck, I can’t have a conscious. I have to keep it moving.

So what if I get fired? I’ll just get another gig. What if they trash me all over town? It goes with the territory. You know it. I know it. Don’t pretend. They give me all the worst shifts. They give me all the raggedy equipment. They short my check. They pretend I don’t have benefits. I can’t get my teeth fixed. I can’t buy a pair of glasses. If I do, I have to pay out of my pocket with the check they shorted me on.

Checks my boss shorted me on for work they claim was never done. For work the boss claims was shoddy. It was not shoddy. It was excellent. I got all kinds of gigs. They give the credit to someone else for all the work worthy of being paid for. They put someone else’s name on the article I wrote. Or the truck I loaded, or the warehouse I cleaned, they claim I didn’t come to work, so I get fired. I don’t think twice about that foolishness.

I don’t. I fight them. I speak the truth. I’m speaking it now. Yeah, so what. It’s because you keep bringing it up is why I keep speaking on it. No, I don’t need to talk to someone. So you can let that go.

There you go again. Look, I’m trying to be polite since we’re carpooling, and we work together. No. I didn’t forget engaged. Must you remind me every day as if it’s something special? I proposed, remember. I’m not angry you proposed first. I’m simply traditional. Our relationship wouldn’t be legitimate if I, the man, didn’t do the proposing. That makes it an official engagement, the man being the head of the household. It only seems as if I bring it up all the time because you bring up we’re engaged all the time.

I know it’s not the 1800s. It doesn’t matter the year or the century. The philosophy, the man being the head of the household, is better, that’s all. No. I’m not angry you got the promotion. And why do you always bring that up? Well, it’s not an issue. I wouldn’t go so far as to say you were the best candidate. You got lucky with one project manager assignment, and co-workers, managers, custodians, and even the wait staff at lunch want to coronate you.

I understand being recognized for a moment, buy a cake, candles lit,  hang a streamer, or two. But a leadership position. Manager of the whole department. That’s too much. You’ve been out of college just as long as you were in college. If you were so great, why not make you manager when you walked in the door? 

I didn’t, nor do I want, the position. I’ve got a couple side gigs you very well know. I’m too busy as it is. Yes, I enjoy them. And I don’t use the “h” word. Happy may not be a derogatory word in your book, but it is in mine. I enjoy what I do l. Let’s leave it at that. I don’t have hate for everybody else. What goes on with you and your subjects has nothing to do with my well-being.

I’m fine. Why you insist on creating some scenario that paints me as envious, I can’t figure. I  believe you should support me as much as I support you. I informed you that the business I worked for was expanding. I suggested you for project manager, which led to your promotion. And then you got engaged due to the fact I asked you. You should have more gratitude. I would. Everybody isn’t me. I get it. I don’t give petty issues like that a second thought. 

You can’t quit. You accepted the promotion less than a week ago. But, if you must. I’ve been telling you all along project manager doesn’t equate to a leadership position over a department. But you don’t listen to me. If it’s not that, then what are you talking about? Your relationship with who? We just got engaged, and you’re cheating.

Who is it? For the last month, you have been spending excessive time at work. You’re the piece of work. You’ve been working on somebody else but not working for us. I guess people with no self-esteem and no business skills have to get ahead any way they can. 

If that’s not what it is, then what are you quitting? You and me? There is no you without me. When are you going to realize that? The sooner you accept that, the better off you’ll be. All the promotions and trips to company retreats with expensive off-road vehicles won’t change that, but you go on. I’m not like you. I can be⎯happy for you.