1 comment

Fiction

The four young men were excited and thrilled to be on their first-ever deer hunting adventure. Having completed their hunting safety course, they felt confident in their newfound knowledge. David, Ronald, Tom, and Roy left their homes in high spirits.

After several hours of trudging through woods and swamps with no luck, the boys decided to call it a day and head for home. As they proceeded to unload their rifles, Tom forgot the number one rule taught in gun safety, make sure your weapon is pointed away from others at all times. Tom's gun misfired. The bullet smashed through Roy's chest, killing him almost instantly. Ron later stated that Roy's last words were, "David, David, help me."

Today is to be the beginning of a new life for Johnny--hopefully. It's all he can do to lie still while the doctors clip away the bandages covering his eyes. His heart raced with excitement, but still, he wonders how he will handle it if he opens his eyes and still sees nothing. Born blind, Johnny has never seen his mother or father's face in his nineteen years on earth. Finally, the last bit of tape comes off, and Johnny opens his eyes to--darkness--or maybe more like a grayness. He can make out vague shapes, like ghosts floating in a fog, but not much else.

"Johnny, Johnny, can you see me?" his mother asks in a voice trembling and choked with emotion. Then slowly, her face materializes out of the mist that surrounds Johnny. She is smiling at him with tears in her eyes.

Johnny blinks several times, and the fog lightens a bit more. The ghostly shapes become doctors and nurses, another his father. A young woman is standing in the corner furthest from the bed. She has shoulder-length hair and is wearing a checkered shirt and blue jeans. In some strange way, she seems familiar to Johnny, but there is no way he could ever have ' seen ' her. A few minutes later, he glances her way again, but she is gone. He forgets about her in the excitement of being able to see.

Johnny fires off questions faster than a machine gun. "What color are my eyes? Are they blue like yours? Is my hair like yours or Dad's? Wow, your beautiful, Mom.

"Whoa, Son, one thing at a time," Johnny's dad laughs. "yes, your eyes are blue, but your hair is black like mine. Now let's check you out of here. You can ask all the questions you want at home.

Johnny finds himself in awe of the beautiful world around him. Having lived in darkness his whole life, he finds the colors amazing. A Cardinal landing in the Fir tree by the house makes him giddy with delight. The red and golds in sunrises and sunsets take his breath away. Clouds sailing across an azure sky can hold his attention for hours. The things most people take for granted give Johnny a high, like heroin to a dope addict.

One thing puzzles him, though. He keeps dreaming about the woman he saw in his hospital room. He now knows her hair is red, and she always seems to be wearing blue jeans with the same blue and white checked shirt. Johnny thinks she looks sad. Also, of all things, he keeps dreaming about cows, a white German Shepard, a small striped cat, and a gun of some sort, but most often, the woman. Finally, he asks his mother, "Mom do you know who donated my eyes?"

"No, all I know is a sixteen-year-old boy died in some kind of horrible accident near the farm where he lived. That's all the information the doctors gave me other than the child's mother donating his eyes, so perhaps some good could come from his untimely death. It must have taken a lot of courage for her to do that, but maybe it makes her feel a bit better knowing some part of her son lives on."

When Autumn arrives, the vivid orange, red, and gold colors of the trees seem to be calling Johnny's name. So on one extra nice, sunny day, he decides to take a walk in the woods near his home. Johnny hasn't gone far before a weird feeling fills him, and the landscape seems to waiver and looks kind of hazy. Shortly after that, four boys carrying deer rifles came walking out of the mist. Strangely, Johnny feels as if he knows them from somewhere. One of them, David ( how do I know his name? Johnny thinks ), starts unloading his gun. The rifle misfires and Johnny screams as a bullet smashes through his body.

Several hours later, or maybe minutes, Johnny slowly regains awareness. He can feel the coolness of the moist ground beneath him; somewhere in the distance, a crow is squawking, and a squirrel chitters in a nearby tree. Spitting the dirt out of his mouth, and shaking his head to clear it of the awful vision, Johnny starts to rise. Only then, does he realize he is not alone.

A young man is sitting on a weather-beaten log about ten feet away. His hair is black and a bit long; he is wearing a denim shirt, blue jeans, and sturdy boots. The boy might have been a very handsome fellow, except for one thing, there are only two black holes where his eyes should be. Horrified, Johnny tries to run but finds himself paralyzed.

To make things worse, the apparition, boy, or whatever begin to speak. "I wasn't ready to die, but sometimes things happen we can't control. Now you have my eyes, and while I may not like it, there is nothing I can do. I just wanted you to know how it feels to die as I did. You owe me big-time for my gift, and this is what I want you to do to repay me. I'm going to tell you where my mother is, and you are to find her, tell her I will love her forever, and how sorry I am that I never got to say goodby. Then you are to pet my dog; he will know who it is from, and most important too, hug my cat, Iggy; she misses me terribly. Do these things and I will consider your debt paid in full." The image of the boy gradually fades into the mist.

Johnny buries his face in his hands and sobs. He vows to find the boy's mother and deliver the message if it is the last thing he does on earth. He does indeed have a debt to pay.

August 04, 2021 19:48

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

1 comment

Mark Baxter
15:21 Aug 12, 2021

This is haunting, and well told. I think, however, that it would have worked better if the past and present tense viewpoints were switched around. There’s also lots of room for expansion and development of the ending.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Reedsy | Default — Editors with Marker | 2024-05

Bring your publishing dreams to life

The world's best editors, designers, and marketers are on Reedsy. Come meet them.