Till Death Do Us Part

“Oh my gosh…” the words fall out of Lilith’s lips. She stands still, her hands trembling as they cover her mouth. Her legs collapse, and she drops onto her knees right in front of her uncle’s body.

There he lies in a pile of blood, his back visible with all the stab wounds. The stain on his dress shirt grows bigger and bigger like watercolor paint spreading on its canvas.

Her big brother Ivan chuckles, “Why are you so surprised? You wanted this to happen. In fact, you even did what I told you to do.”

“That’s not true!” she quickly objects. Right, it’s not true. She has always been an innocent person, free from drugs, cigarettes, and anything related to those horrible things because that would mean she’s like her uncle, and she would rather die than become that man. She does not have blood on her hands. Ivan is the one that killed him, not her. No, she is just being used by Ivan! That’s what’s happening… right?

Ivan drops the knife and walks towards his precious little sister, kneeling down in front of her. He smiles, but it does not comfort Lilith; it does not comfort her at all. His smiles are usually bright and warm, just like the sun that breaks through the dark clouds on a rainy day. Rainy days are like the times uncle would beat her up with a bottle of that strange drink that makes him mean.

This smile, however, is cold. It darkens Ivan’s expression, changing him into a completely different person. The blood smeared on his cheek and hands doesn’t do any good for his image either. She no longer feels safe, only simple fear.

A sudden thought makes her blood run cold.

It’s almost as if this smile… resembles her uncle.

When Ivan reaches out to caress Lilith’s head, she freezes with her eyes wide. Don’t run or else he’ll see you. Don’t resist or else he’ll keep hitting you. Don’t breathe or else he won’t know when to stop hurting you.

“Lilith,” Ivan mumbles, dropping his smile. Now, instead of that sadistic face that reminded her of her uncle, his expression is empty, but his eyes look as if they’ll rip her apart. “You’re the one that snuck those sleeping pills that I gave you into his drink when he wasn’t looking, and I know you got hit for getting too close to him. I’m sorry about that, okay? But big brother just made it all better! Look!”

Ivan gets up and points to the body with his bloody hands.

“He’s dead, Lilith. Dead!” he whispers excitedly. He spreads his arms out and walks around the dimly lit living room, kicking the empty glass bottles on the ground. One of them crashes against the wall. Lilith squeezes her ears shut to block the loud noises, a deep frown forming on her face from the incredible discomfort. “This mess of a home is ours now. We get to finally live in peace, Lilith! No more alcohol, no more being pushed around, no more lying to the teacher about why you have so many bruises!

“We deserve to be happy, Lilith. We deserve to be free from that man, and we are now!” He goes up to her again and grabs her tightly by the shoulders, getting a squeak out of her. “So please… don’t say I did this for nothing… don’t say that I’m in the wrong…”

The little girl can only look anywhere but at her brother’s face. She does not want the one person she trusted to become the one person she despised. What if she sees no hint of remorse in his eyes? What if he has that terrifying smile on his face again? What if big brother became a monster?

“Look at me, Lilith,” Ivan begs. “Look at me.”

Hesitantly, the girl flicks her eyes up. When she meets with his face, she doesn’t see something dreadful. She notices how his eyes are somewhat crinkled and widened, almost at the brink of tears, how eyebrows are curved downward, and how his smile is anxious.

He’s afraid.

This relieves the girl to know that he’s still human. But now, they are both humans who are tainted, who have done wrong. And when you do something wrong, you have to come forward and be honest… at least, that’s what she learned in school.

So what did she decide to do?

She looks up at her older brother and gently tells him, “Let’s call the police.”

His eyes widen even more. The horror drains the color in his face, and he lets go of Lilith’s shoulders.

With a nervous laugh, he backs away from her and responds, “You can’t be serious.” 

“Ivan, it’s the right thing to do-

“No!” he yells. Lilith flinches; Ivan never raises his voice at her. This is the first time he has been so hostile with her. “You don’t know what’s right for the both of us, alright? I’m your big brother, so let me take care of this.”

“But it’s wrong!”

“Well, Lilith, the world is a cruel place,” he snarls while standing up. “Look around you! You think the cops will be on our side? They’ve never once helped us before, so why do you think they’ll help us now, huh?! Especially when we look like we’re the bad guys.

“They’ll take you away from me, Lilith. They’ll lock us up and separate us forever! Do you want that, huh? Do you want that, Lilith?!”

Silently, tears fall from her eyes as she watches her brother change right before her. Has he always been this broken?

After some silence, Ivan sighs, “Look, I’ll call the police and tell them that all of this was out of self-defense. You,” he points at Lilith, “are going to be my witness, okay?”

She asks him nervously, “What does a witness do?”

“Well,” he starts. “You’re going to lie to them.”

“But isn’t lying bad?”

“No, this lying is good. Lying isn’t always bad. Sometimes, you have to lie to save someone. Don’t you want to protect your brother?”

Lilith does want to protect her brother. Of course, she does! He’s the one that defended her all these years whenever her uncle beat her. At least, when he was there and not at practice.

But, in school, her teacher always tells her that lying is very bad.

“Come on, Lilith. You’ve lied about your bruises before. Can’t you lie about this? I promise I’ll buy you a big stuffed animal tomorrow.” He kneels down in front of her again. This time, his smile is the one she is familiar with. Does this mean he is back to normal? If lying keeps Ivan from becoming Uncle, then maybe she shall keep lying.

After some deep thought, as deep as a young child can think, Lilith nods and whispers, “Okay… but you have to call the police…!”

For a second, his face darkens, but it quickly lightens up again.

“Yup! As long as you help your brother and lie, everything will be fine, and we’ll get to live the rest of our lives eating ice cream if you wanted to! Just trust me, okay?”

Lilith nods again and is embraced by her brother’s arms. She cautiously wraps her small arms around him too, and she enjoys her moment of peace before she has to feel her stomach twisting and turning, her insides screaming and reminding her of this guilt she must now bear.