When The World Began To Wilt

“It’s like…the world is slowly dying.”

My friend's eyes stared into mine. I could feel--even see the fear that they shared--that we all shared.

Something strange was happening to Earth. It was as if everyone at the same time began to give up on life. The fire that burns in us to prosper, thrive--to simply live…it would dwindle in all humans no matter their background.  

My friends were just talking about how great it is that crime, especially violent, is at an all time low. What they didn’t know before I opened my big mouth was that suicide rates and depression diagnoses have more than doubled in the last three months. And in those last three months, I have become more and more paranoid about the state of the world. Until now, I kept my feelings to myself until I could no longer hold it in. 

“Are you sure you’re not emo, Lance?” Tasha asked with her refined ability to break an awkward silence. The table, minus myself, would burst into laughter. Very frequently, they would tease me about being the gloomy one in the group. Which is fair. For as long as I remember, my personality has resonated with things that are conventionally negative…which is my way of saying that I’m always sad about something.

Quinn, the optimistic one, would speak next. “I’m sure it’s just some weird seasonal depression thing. ”

And lastly, the one person who I thought would have my back, would object as well. Mark was always into conspiracy theories whether he thought them true or not. To my surprise, he said, “I’m willing to bet the media is just doubling down on writing about negative stuff because it's making them the most money. The world is always a sad place. People can only stay ignorant and happy for so long.”

No. I refuse to believe that’s what they actually think. Maybe it’s because of my bleak outlook of life that I’m actually willing to speak out about this. Because these days, there seem to only be two types of people. There are those who have been consumed in sorrow and those who deny that they've already been devoured.

The streets on my way to the library were nearly barren. Thousands of businesses within the last three months had transitioned many of their positions to be work from home. I say this to describe just how unmotivated humanity has become. People couldn't even be bothered to get up and go to work anymore. 

I've always frequented the library. It was where I spent many years of my life alongside my mother. She was a woman who had the brightest flame fueling her soul. When she had me, she would put herself through school all the while spending as much time with me as possible. While she committed herself to her studies, I would rush to get my schoolwork done so I could read. Stories, biographies, field guides--anything I found at least remotely interesting. We spent countless nights there until she graduated and found an amazing job. Even then, she wanted more for us. It was her dream to become her own boss and create a business that would support the lives of our family for generations to come. I believed she could do it…until the world began to wilt. That woman…that symbol of passion and drive…she now finds it a chore to simply get dressed.

Being here at the library was not only my comfort space, but it made me feel as if I was doing something. I spent much of my time researching to find any sort of explanation of what is going on. Experts are referring to it as “mass sympathetic depression.” I found this in an article about how there is now a demand for psychologists in every continent. Coming out of the house was also my way of fighting back. Every time I picked myself up and left, it gave me the feeling that someone was willing to face the truth and stand against the “wilting.” Despite all my efforts, all I was doing was trying to make myself feel better. My research and making an effort to keep my soul’s fire lit would do nothing for humanity. Even if I were to find the cause…I am powerless to stop it. I tried to push these thoughts back as I continued my research on my laptop.

That was when I noticed someone approaching from behind. Their footsteps stopped right behind me. “‘The Wilting?’ Cool name. Very dramatic.” I turned to find a young girl. She would wear a confident smirk where the right corner of her mouth would curl as if she were holding back a laugh. I opened my mouth to speak…but I wound up unable to. In this dreary world that we live in, looking at this girl was like staring into the sun after surviving a harsh winter. Her existence alone seemed to breathe life into mine. “I know, I know, I’m stunning. Move over.” She would pull up a chair before shooing me to the side and helping herself to my notes.  

Finally, I snapped out of my stupor. “Who are you?”

The way she so comfortably scanned through my work was as if she were already familiar with its contents. “I guess you could say I'm a fellow ‘sympathetic depression’ fanatic. God you’re really into this stuff. How many pages is this?”

“Around five hundred. For three months I've amassed all of the knowledge before you from scholarly studies, historical texts, internet forums and even mythology. I've been searching for an answer…but to no avail.”

When she turned to look at me, I noticed her smirk had grown. “Are…are you serious? Do you really talk like that?”

 “Y--yes. I do.”

As she spoke, she straightened her posture and bobbed her head with every word. “‘I have amassed my knowledge from texts of various genres and have compiled them into one--.’” She would then burst into laughter, unable to continue her poor impression. “You sound like you're narrating some nerd book or something.”

I was never fully proud of the person I had become. My biggest regret was and still is my inability to break out of my comfort zone. My lack of confidence and bravery kept me from doing many things in life. There was, however, one thing that I held great pride in. It was my mother who instilled this pride in me at an early age when I would come home crying after being teased about how I spoke. She would tell me there was no shame to be had and that it was a sign of my intelligence. That is why I responded to her with, “Insulting me for speaking properly? I should expect nothing less from a child.”

“Oh c’mon it’s just a joke.” Her eyes returned to my notes. “Say you found the answer. What next?”

“Nothing. What could I do?”

“But if you had the means…” her eyes slowly returned to me, “...would you do it?”

She asked me…as if she knew the answer. Was she serious? Did she truly know what was happening!? “Who are you? What do you know?”

  A veil of darkness would suddenly consume me.

Seconds later, I could see again. Now, however, I could see a strange aura emanating from her body. It would share the same bright oranges, yellows and soft purples as a sunset. I would notice my own as well. Unlike her own, it would be a dark and dreary navy blue. “What is this? What did you do?”

“I've given you the ability to see the essence of life itself. Take a look at the librarian.”

Her own was like mine, but of a forest green hue. I quickly diverted my gaze when she noticed my staring. “I…I don't even know what to say. This can't be real.”

“To answer your question,” she said, “I am something like an agent of life. I come from a different plane of existence entirely. The strange phenomenon you're experiencing is the result of an attack.”

I must be dreaming. Having read hundreds of books in my life, my imagination can run wild at times. She must have known exactly what I was thinking, for the next thing she would do is prove herself. Grabbing my hand, she led me outside. There I would see a wide assortment of colors radiating off of all life whether man, beast or plant. They would all flow into one another, thriving off of the other in an…eternal cycle. I…could literally see the circle of life itself!

“Eyes on me,” she said, yanking my chin to face her. “I know this is a lot, but you have to keep it together. What I’m about to show you is gonna haunt your ass for a while. No matter what you see, keep it together.” Before I had any time to respond, she slowly raised her hand just above her head and pointed to the sky. Despite her words…or perhaps because of them, I had to look. What I would witness could only be described as a monster. It was as if the moon had grown twice its size, shedded its craterous exterior for pale skin and grew a gaping mouth with endless rows of awful, curved fangs. But what would strike fear in my being the most would be its eyes. Horrid, yellow and varying in size, they would cover its entire body. Swiftly, all the eyes visible to me would meet with mine. I had never truly gasped until then. With the air in my gut, my strength would leave my body out of pure shock. With a surprising amount of strength, she caught me before I hit the ground. “Stay with me!” she said. “It won’t hurt you. At least not physically.”

“Wh--what is that!?”

“That is what you call the ‘Wilting.’ Now I need you to focus up. I have a lot to explain.”

I could not take my eyes off of that--that creature that hung beside the moon. I was only able to gather myself when her words registered in my mind. “That is the cause?”

“Yes. Now are you ready to hear me out?” For the first time since I met her, she was no longer smiling. Her change in demeanor worked well to restore my composure. I stood to my feet and took a deep breath. “Good. Now, like I said before, I’m from a place where the energy of life comprises my own universe. Chi, Ki, chakra, aura, essence--call it whatever you like so long as you follow me. Just like you, we have sentient beings and animals. Some of those animals need to devour energy to live. They are both a threat as well as a necessity. They can devour me and my people, but they also devour dangerous negative energy that can harm the balance of my universe. My people have spent billions of years keeping their numbers in check until one day, we realized that one species had grown a dangerous adaptation to our hunting methods. Since it could no longer hunt us, it developed the ability over millions of years to travel between my world and yours to prey on a species that is nutritious and does not have the ability to harm it. That beast that we call a devourer is literally absorbing the life force out of every living thing. In order to survive for a longer period of time, it eats slowly--for decades and decades until the planet becomes a wasteland. My job is to kill it.”

“Then do it!”  

She laughed at my ignorance. “To kill’em, we need to counteract the energy it's stealing from Earth. When they were simple beasts, all we needed to do was blast’em with a bit of energy and overwhelm their own. Now, however, they are far more complex. That monster has been watching you humans for decades--eating your energy and learning more about what makes you you. I believe I have the solution to kill it, but I need the input of humans to know if it will work or not. If it doesn’t, I may not be able to save earth in time.” She would then open her palm out in front of me as if to hand me something. The aura around her would gather in the center of her palm and take shape. The light died down to reveal a small, golden covered journal. “You’re a nerd. Think of the contents as a spell.”

I would begin to flip through the pages of elegant, cursive handwriting. I read the first few pages in less than a minute. “These are…your notes? Your observations about humans.”

“Yeah. In order for my ‘spell’ to work, I need to know just what it is the devourer is preying on. What common emotion, feeling or instinct is it using to hunt all of you? What is it about humans that drives them--what makes them such a delectable meal?”

I halted reading and squinted at her. “Odd phrasing.” I would then continue. It would only take me ten minutes to finish. “Survival. You think the driving force of us humans is our survival…”

“Isn’t it?” she asked with a smirk. “Humans' innate need to survive is what drives you. It’s why you exercise, why you eat, drink--it’s even coded in all your emotions. You find friendship and love to give life more meaning. You travel and have parties to make life more exciting. Without these things, most humans are not able to survive. Why is it you spend so much time in the library? Isn’t it because it makes you feel more useful? What would happen if you didn't?”

She was right. That had to be the answer. Her logic was completely sound. Then why…why was it that it felt wrong? I stood in deep thought, staring at the journal with a level of focus I never thought imaginable. My studies, my life--it would all race through my mind to find the strongest commonality. I realized my answer when I remembered one fateful night in the library with my mother. She had failed a crucial assignment on a technicality and her grade was in jeopardy. I didn’t know it then, but if she failed, she would lose a major scholarship and would no longer be able to afford her classes as well as attain the life that she had promised me. The pressure finally bore down on her until she could no longer hide her emotions. Seeing the strongest woman break down in front of me was terrifying…but it would also bring us closer. She revealed that staying strong for me was an arduous battle. My response was simple, but incredibly effective. “You’re still strong.” Her confidence would return after that, and I didn't understand why until now. It was that emotion she tried to hide. It was what drives us humans…and yet we would never dare speak a word of it.

“Weakness,” I said.

The girl’s face scrunched in confusion. After a few more seconds, it softened. Soon, her eyes widened and stared directly into mine. “Weakness…” she whispered.

“To be weak, to show weakness…we avoid it at any cost. It’s why I hide in the library--why I keep my emotions to myself. To avoid them, to conquer them--it shapes all of our actions. And only if we are honest and open about our weaknesses can we conquer them. Right?”

Her signature smirk slowly returned to her face and with it, a boastful laugh. “I knew it. When I would see you camp out in the library until closing for weeks on end, I knew you were the right one to come to…you nerd.” The journal would then suddenly lift into the air above us and emit a blinding light. The pages would turn vigorously as it converted back into raw energy. The girl would then gracefully raise her hand and bring the light to rest just above her palm in which aimed straight for the devourer. All of this energy would be sent flying in a single, concentrated bolt. We watched its approach in silence. Nothing would happen for what felt like hours…until its eyes began sporadically shifting. Next would come a horrible roar that could be heard and felt through the atmosphere. Its skin would begin to crack. From them, her energy shone bright until finally, one final flash would reduce it to dust.

We would stare into the sky in silence for some time. “Is…it over?”

For another few seconds, she continued gazing into the sky. Finally, she looked at me. “You know what else I realized when I saw you hiding away in the library? Despite our clear differences, you and I are a lot alike.”

She wouldn't answer with her words, but her calm aura assured me all was well. I grinned widely before responding. “Which makes you a nerd.”

We would share a good laugh before darkness consumed me like before. “It was a pleasure…Lance.”

When I opened my eyes, all was normal again. No longer could I see the energy of life. Despite that, I felt as if I could still feel it. The dullness that haunted us for months had seemed to be gone. And in me, a new fire kindled my being. If the two of us were truly alike, maybe I could turn my dim energy into one like her own or my mother’s. That was when my phone rang. “Hey mom.”

The energy in her tone alone would bring a smile to my face. “Hey! I gotta get outta this house for a bit. Come to the park with me?”

Tears would spring from my smiling face. “Yes…I would love that.”