YOUR HUSBAND, MY HUSBAND, WHOSE HUSBAND?

YOUR HUSBAND, MY HUSBAND, WHOSE HUSBAND?

“What a five-star day! Makes you forget all your troubles out here on the ocean. Have you ever taken a cruise before? Have you ever been to this part of the world …..before?”

“Actually this is my first. My first cruise and my first visit to the Greek Islands. It’s thrilling.”

“Mine too ... I don’t know why I waited this long. Oh, sorry, my name is Estelle. I’m traveling alone. “

“ I’m Joy. Nice to meet you. I’m also traveling solo. But same here. I don’t know why I waited so long except, well, I wouldn’t have been able to do it  before …not it on a model -slash -waitress salary.”

“I hear you. I’ve always wanted to go on a cruise, but  work and kids got in the way, you know?  I have two kids, age 6 and 8 and I’m on sabbatical from my job. Grandma is watching the kids. And the dogs.”

“So you’re married?”

“For the moment, but I’m about to become one of those gay divorcees! Imagine, after 15 long years of being the dutiful wife!  How about you? “

“Oh, no, not yet. But soon.”

“I get it. Well, you are much younger. You can afford to take your time. A husband and kids can come later.”

“Well I don’t know about children at all.  I’m pretty independent And my husband, well, my husband- to- be is a bit older than me. I don’t think we’ll be having any kids. Dogs, yes. Golden labs, my favorites, and his, too, but kids, no.

“That’s funny! Another thing we two strangers have in common.  My husband ---or rather my husband not-to-be --loves golden labs, too. We have two.”

“I know. So funny.  What made you decide on this cruise this month and this year?”

“I think I just wanted to get as far away from Milwaukee as possible. As far away as possible from him.

“What does he do, your husband ‘not to be’?

“He’s in finance. If he’d only spent as much time with me and the kids as he did at his job moving money around, maybe we would be having a couples cruise, instead of this solo woman’s vacation.  What does your husband –to- be do?”

“Oh, He’s a corporate attorney. Not sure which firm. Anyway, he doesn’t seem to be home a lot.  Gee, I don’t know as much about him as I should, I guess. He travels a lot.  Like your husband. “

“You mean my husband not- to- be!!”

“Right. I really wanted my guy to come along on the cruise, but he wasn’t free to come, He knows that I could never afford a trip like this so he paid for it.  But, I’ll call daily and send him lots of pictures. And not just me in bikinis. But those, too. You know how men are!

“Yes, I know how men are. It’s a pretty generous engagement gift, a luxury cruise like this.  Lucky you!  This is one heck of an elegant ship wouldn’t you say? I have my own veranda, room service, breakfast- in- bed, a maid, all- day buffet, gambling tables, what’s not to like? “

“Yes, for sure.  I never had a lot of nice things growing up. And the only time I really had any money to spend was from the beauty contest I won last year.   That’s how I met my fiancé. Actually I met him online. He saw my photos from the beauty contest and tracked me down. “

“Well, Joy, you are a beautiful young woman. Do you want to hear something funny? My cruise was a gift, too.  “

“You’re kidding. From your husband, or rather your husband not- to- be?

“Exactly. I guess he thought it would make me forget I will be a divorced woman from now on with two kids to raise.  Oh, well, as you say, we know how men are. “

“Shall we hit the deck? Let’s have coffee and breathe in some sea air. When does the divorce go through?”

“Oh, I plan to take my time so my lawyer can get as much financial support and alimony as possible from him. I deserve it. He doesn’t seem in a rush, either. He’s probably chasing down another woman.  Do you have a picture of this amazing generous guy of yours?

“You know, Estelle, the funny thing is he asked me not to show his picture to anyone, especially strangers. So funny!  I don’t know what he’s afraid of.”

“What a coincidence!  My husband was the same way. Always having his picture taken in a wide- brimmed hat, or standing in the shadows. It was as though he didn’t want to be seen.  As though he had a secret to hide. I do have a picture of our dogs, though. I think he loved the dogs more than me. Here’s Hero and Howdy, our labs.”

“Oh wow, such a coincidence, Estelle.  Teddy did send me a picture of his two dogs .They looked a lot like yours. See?

“Golden labs all look a lot alike, I guess. And they are popular. Maybe the most popular breed in the country. But, here’s another coincidence! My husband not- to- be’s name is Freddy. And yours is Teddy! And wow, that is one impressive engagement ring you are wearing!”

“Yes, isn’t it? I’ve never had a diamond. It’s a Harry Winston….

“Don’t tell me!  A cushion- cut diamond micropave?

“How did you know?

“I had one, very similar to yours… ..Very similar… I returned it to him. Last week “

“Teddy gave this to me yesterday, just before the cruise. “

“Joy, can I see that picture of the labs again”

“Sure, what are you looking for?”

“Oh, nothing much. Just one thing—Joy, that is our house in the background, past the doghouse. That is Freddy and Estelle’s house!  “And….that is my ring you are wearing!!!”

“Does this make us sister wives?”

“Close enough. Come on, sister; let’s go below deck and spend some of Teddy and Freddy’s  money at the poker table!”

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