Joshua's Choice

The day dawned with a mist that seemed to permeate everywhere and everything. Joshua woke, rubbed his eyes, hopeful always that he wouldn't be in the same place where he had gone to sleep.

On opening his eyes fully, he realised that unfortunately he was in the same place. It was the corner of a small attic at the top of a big apartment building in the Jewish ghetto in Warsaw. He was squashed up against the wall on a dirty lumpy mattress with no pillow and only a very thin grey blanket for cover. Joshua was hungry, but then he was always hungry these days. His stomach had been rumbling for days and if his blanket had been edible he would have devoured it.

It was the summer of 1942 and he, his mother, younger sister and grandparents had been in this ghetto for nearly two years. Joshua was eight years old. He looked younger than his age, being small and wiry with a crop of curly dark hair. A typical Jewish look with the characteristic nose. His father had been killed in 1939 resisting the Germans in a street fight outside their house as they were all being rounded up to be sent to the Ghetto. He was a brave man, but Jewish bravery was not rewarded; it was punished.

Ever since the Nazis had occupied Poland they had been searching out all the Jews and in 1940 this Warsaw ghetto had been established. Almost 30% of Warsaw's population were squashed into this overcrowded smelly ghetto. There were minimal rations, unsanitary conditions and extreme starvation which led to the death of thousands of Jews each month.

Joshua got up, walking over the sleeping members of the rest of his family, determined to see if he could get out early to find some food. If he was lucky he might find some bread or even an old turnip or a carrot somewhere. Quietly opening the door, he crept down the stairs to the basement of the building where he climbed up on to a window sill opened the window jumping down on to the pavement outside. Although it was summer, it was not a warm day and Joshua was only wearing a thin vest and pair of shorts. He was as thin as a rake and consequently he started to shiver. Quickening his pace, he started off down the street, his eyes looking in every possible place where there might be some food.

The gutters were often good for old vegetables. Occasionally if he was lucky there might be an apple or a pear that a soldier had accidentally dropped. . It was early in the morning, about 5am. There weren't many people about, but Joshua was wary of the SS and the Nazi guards who were always patrolling the ghetto. He pulled his grey blanket tightly around him , hoping that it made him invisible. By now after two years he knew all the back lanes in this awful ghetto. Somehow today he had an inkling that he would find food. His sharp eyes suddenly spotted a turnip on the side of the road. Quick as a flash he picked it up and stuffed in his pocket. He was so tempted to bite into it straight away but he could hear his Dad saying to him,just as he left their home to try to stop them being evicted, “Joshua,if anything happens to me, you must be the man of the family. . I am relying on you”. He knew that his family relied on him to hunt out food somehow, by fair or foul means.

He walked on for what seemed like ages, only managing to find a mangy piece of bread, but anything was better than nothing. Because his eyes had been so firmly focused on the ground, when he actually looked up he saw that he was very near the 10 foot high wall that the Nazis had made the Jews erect around the ghetto. “If only”, he thought to himself, “I could get over that wall, I know I could find food on the other side, but how can I do it”? Without really thinking it was in any way possible he walked on the other side of the road, opposite the wall, keeping hidden as much as possible, so the guards didn't stop him and start to question him. “I have to get food, I have to get food”, he kept mumbling to himself, “Its my duty, my responsibility, I have to do this for my Daddy and my family. I am the man of the house now”. He felt courage seeping into him as he kept repeating this mantra, over and over to himself.

When he thought about what had happened afterwards, it seemed like a miracle, like a guardian angel was showing him the way, guiding him to this particular spot where there was one of the twenty-two gates that were stationed along the wall. Of course the gate was shut and locked with there were two police guarding the gate. Joshua ducked into a doorway so that he couldn't be seen, pulling his grey blanket more firmly around him and over his head so that just his eyes were showing. “Perhaps”, he thought to himself,” the gate will open and I can nip across to the other side, find some food and run quickly back home”. He had the optimism of a little boy that something like this would even be possible. He knew he was a very quick runner, always winning the races at school in the few years he had been at school before everything changed and the “Nasty Nazis” as he called them had ruined everything.

Just as he was thinking this, he heard a rumbling in the distance. Looking over he saw a horse and cart come into view stopping outside the gates. Joshua had seen this particular horse and cart before on his escapades and he recognised the driver. It was his mother's friend Piotr who previously before this horrible world had been their local baker. He used to go to their temple and occasionally had come to their house for Jewish feasts. He had heard his mother and grandmother talking, saying that Piotr had got a job with the Jewish Police. He would be allowed to take out cart loads of rubble from the ghetto, sometimes being able to smuggle in small amounts of food which of course he first shared with his large family. Very occasionally he would find Rebecca, Joshua's mother, and give her some food.

An idea sprung into Joshua's head, if he could creep up to the cart, climb up into it and hide beneath the tarpaulin covering the rubble and dust he might be able to smuggle some food back in, because hopefully that was what Piotr was going to do this morning.

Seeing Piotr pull up the cart, get out of it, showing all his credentials to one of the police on the gates, Joshua realised it was now or never to make a run for it. Abandoning his precious blanket as he thought that would handicap him, he ran like he had never run before, reached the side of the cart that was hidden from the police, quietly climbing up the side and sneaked in beneath the tarpaulin. He could hear Piotr still talking to the guard. It was almost like Piotr knew that Joshua was there because he was making a great fuss of not being able to find all his paper work. The Policeman was getting very angry and impatient, shouting obscenities,when Piotr suddenly seemed to be able to find the missing piece of paper.

Joshua, under the tarpaulin was trying to make himself as small and flat as possible. He was wedged between two enormous pieces of stone, very jagged with the edges sticking into his back. “This is the most uncomfortable bed I have ever had”, he thought to himself, which for some obscure reason made him laugh inwardly! To his great relief he heard Piotr climb up into the driver's seat , urging the horse into action. They moved off which made things even more uncomfortable for Joshua as the rubble bumped up and down on the uneven cobble stones down the tunnels that led out of the ghetto.

Once they were through the tunnel and had safely passed through the gate,security check done, they were into the other world so to speak. Joshua heard his name being spoken in a very loud whisper. “Joshua, I know you are there, you scamp. What on earth do you think you are doing and does your mother know where you are?” Josh's mouth felt dry, his heart was beating fast and he found he couldn't say anything. Piotr continued, “I suppose you are looking for food, well I might be able to help you there. Once I have got rid of this rubble, a friend of mine is going to meet me at the rubble dump and has some food for me, but we have to be very careful. In fact you are going to come in very useful as I know I will be very carefully watched . So, as I am getting rid of this stuff,you can hop out and grab the bag of food from my friend Marek. You will know him as he will be wearing a black coat, carrying a blue bag. Do you think you could do that?” In a very small voice, Joshua replied in the positive. “Ok good,” said Piotr , “Wait for my signal and then go like the clappers. The signal will be these words that I will say to my horse, Good boy, well done. Good luck Joshua, you are a brave boy”.

Joshua managed to say hoarsely, “Okay”. He didn't feel brave at all, his mouth was dry, his stomach felt sick, he didn't even feel hungry any more and he was sure that when he moved his legs would turn to jelly. All too soon he heard Piotr say the words to his horse. This was his moment. With some strength that he hadn't had a second before, he lept from the cart, hid behind the wheel ' saw Piotr get out and stroll to the guard in charge of the rubble dump. Looking around he couldn't see anybody else. Panic started to set in , but then miraculously from behind a large heap of rubble appeared Marek in his black coat carrying the blue bag. Joshua could see that Marek was looking over at Piotr. With an innate gut instinct, Joshua knew that he had to get to Marek before Marek started to move. Keeping himself very low to the ground he ran like a giselle and before Marek had had time to move he found that there was a young grubby urchin tugging at his leg. His first reaction was to kick him out of the way, but then he heard this impassioned voice begging him to believe him, that he was a friend of Piotr and was to pick up the blue bag.

Marek didn't know whether to believe this voice, but his survival instinct kicked in and he realised that it would be a lot less dangerous for him to hand this bag of food to this desperate kid than to try getting the bag into the cart. This kid would do it for him, so he dropped the bag scuttling back behind the rubble, leaving Joshua to his fate.

Grabbing the bag as if his life depended on it, indeed it did, he once again ran with every ounce his poor malnourished, scared body could summon up, back to the cart. It was much harder on the return route as he had the bag this time. With frightened eyes he looked over to Piotr who once again was holding the guard hostage, talking non-stop. “Thank goodness that Piotr is a good talker”, Joshua thought. At the wheel now, he found the gap in the tarpaulin and with a superhuman effort he threw the bag into the cart , then scraping every part of his body he hauled himself into the cart, dragging the tarpaulin over him,. He didn't care that he was lying in what seemed like animal excrement, he didn't care that he was freezing cold and so hungry that he could have eaten the dirt that he was lying in,he didn't' care that he had cuts and scrapes all over him, he was just so glad that he had got back without being seen. He wanted to look in the bag, but all he could do was lie there, his breath coming in ragged gasps, his eyes closed. He just wanted his Mummy.

The cart swayed, Piotr got in, the horse began to turn around and trot back the way she had come. After a few minutes Joshua heard Piotr's voice asking him in anxious tones, “Joshua are you there? Are you okay?” Without opening his eyes, the little boy replied weakly, “I am here Piotr”. “Thank God “he heard the good man mumble, “Now lets get you back to your mother and get some food into you”.

Ending A}

Going back through the gate into the ghetto was, Joshua knew going to be scary, as the police very aware of how food was being smuggled into the ghetto often checked these empty rubble carts. The danger wasn't yet over. He heard the gate being locked behind them. He heard the police ask Piotr to lift up the tarpaulin. Just as he thought that his life was over, there was a lot of noise, it seemed like people were throwing things at each other. There was screaming and some gun shots. Piotr and his cart were forgotten by the police. Piotr made off as quickly as he could without causing suspicion. He took Joshua back to his building, emptied half the bag of food into the empty horse's nosebag, gave that to Joshua, shooing him on his way up the back stairs of the building. Joshua didn't think he had the strength to climb the stairs but he somehow managed it, opened the door falling into his mother's arms.

Ending B}

Joshua knew that going back through the gate into the ghetto was going to be scary, as the police were very aware of how food was being smuggled into the ghetto often checked these empty rubble carts. The danger wasn't over yet. He heard the gate being locked behind them. He heard the police ask Piotr to lift up the tarpaulin. He tried to hide himself under the dust, but he knew that he would still be seen; he must try something. Piotr was arguing with the police and it seemed like he was convincing them that there was a whole pile of horse poo under the tarpaulin that would cause the most tremendous stink if the cover was lifted off.

Joshua was just starting to breathe again when he heard the all too familiar thudding sound of the Nazi soldier's boots. Being unusually bright for his age, Joshua had picked up quite a bit of German over the last two years in the ghetto. His grandfather who spoke it fluently had also been trying to teach him some because it was often useful, in order to be able to understand what was going on. With a terrible sinking feeling in his stomach Joshua heard the commanding tone of the Nazi soldier telling Piotr to lift back the cover. No words came back from Piotr. Joshua closed his eyes, starting to say his prayers, as the cover was ripped off and a German soldier was poking him in the ribs with a bayonet. Next his bag of food was thrown all over the cart, a gun shot was fired, there was a thud from the front of the cart. Joshua opened his eyes to see the gun now levelled at him, heard the trigger being pulled, felt a searing pain through his chest, then blackness. His last thought was “Daddy I tried to look after the family”.