Tea and Mimosas

      The tables on the patio are close enough so that the nearby eavesdroppers don’t have to lean to get a listen. The afternoon sun is reason enough for people to wear their sunglasses, hiding their stare from that one table. It’s doubtful those two at the table would notice; they have more pressing matters than some onlookers absorbing their conversation.

           Scrolling through her phone, the woman stops on a screen, showing it to the man at her table, stopping inches from his face. “That’s you, right? Right with that skank in black, right?” She scrolls again, purposefully scanning her library of pictures. “Here’s another one, dancing with that same person, right? I mean, wait, I’m sorry, that’s you, right? Unless you have a twin who has your same clothes, hair, and glasses, right? I mean, Justine took those pics and maybe she doesn’t know your look as well as I do, and I wasn’t there so I don’t know how dark or whatever it was, but what do you have to say?”

           With his hands clasped in front of his face, he nods, in full realization of where the conversation is leading. “Yeah Linda, that’s me.”

           Taking the last of her mimosa in one gulp, Linda puts her hand to her chin, as if deep in thought. A red-lipsticked smile slowly develops. “That’s interesting. But how can that be you at this club if you told me you were going to your friend’s to play games all night? Maybe I’m missing something. Maybe you can clear it up for me. How can this be you at this club with this…whoever she is…when you were supposed to be at your friend’s playing games?”

           With his phone in his pocket, Noe stops himself from pulling it out. Six months is perhaps six months too long, he convinces himself. Those pools of green she gazes at him with had the power to drag their relationship out. He thinks maybe it was the fact that their first date was a performance of A Doll’s House at her suggestion. 

            He wonders how often he actually was happy during those six months. Definitely not that time Linda insisted on going to dinner with him and his mom after their third week. Nor at the argument that stemmed from him buying cupcakes for the office potluck because Linda knew how many women Noe works with and thought the cupcakes were a way to get sweet with them. He begins to wonder if there was any happiness during those six months.

           It would be an easy matter to explain things. Nodding in defeat, Noe looks down at his French toast, away from Linda. “Okay, umm, no point in lying since Justine sent you those pics. I don’t know who that woman was. Just met at that club and…” Noe sinks into his chair as he takes a drink of mimosa. “…I think you can figure out the rest.”

           Linda slams a palm on the table, nearly knocking over the glassware. “No, no, no, you’re not waiving me off like that. I know what you did and I want you to say it. Say it! Say it, you fucking asshole!”

           A breath of submission leaves Noe’s nostrils. He takes off his glasses, rubbing his eyes, not thinking he could be exhausted so early in the day. “We fu…we had sex, okay? We left the club a little early. She was parked nearby so we did it in her car. I didn’t even ask her for her number.”

           Standing up, nearly knocking the chair away from her, she grabs his mimosa and tosses it into his face. “I just want to fucking punch you so bad right now, you dickless prick.”

           Waiting a moment or two after Linda storms off, a waiter comes to the table, placing some napkins down while Noe cleans his glasses with his shirt. “Anything I can get you?”

           Noe takes out his phone. “No, I think just the check, thanks.” He begins texting Gustavo, the friend he was supposed to be gaming with. You busy?

Nah.

Can you meet me at the Teazer’s on Olive in about an hour?

Sure. Might be late, but sure.

•          •          •

           Sipping on an iced sencha green tea as Gustavo enters the building, Noe waives him over, with Gustavo pointing to the counter, gesturing that he’ll order before sitting. Breathing a little easier, Noe rests in his chair.

           Wasting no time, Gustavo sits at the table. “Hey, what’s going on? I thought you were supposed to be with Linda today?”

           A smile spreads across Noe’s face. “I was, earlier. We broke up.”

           Barely able to keep out a muffled chuckle, Gustavo sits up in his chair. “Dude, what? Just today? Like, what happened?”

           Smiling and nodding as he sips his tea, Noe breathes in, feeling better about the day. “Okay, it was…it was nuts is what it was. So you know how I told you I couldn’t make it to your place the other night, right?”

           Gustavo nods as his tea comes to the table. “Yeah. Your cousin’s birthday.”

           “Yeah. So earlier that day I told Linda I couldn’t spend time with her that night because I was going to your place, but I didn’t tell her that I had that change of plans.”

           A brief laugh escapes Gustavo. “It’s not like you have to check-in with Linda. But I get it, it can kinda look bad.”

           “It gets worse. So my cousin wanted to go to Splash for her birthday; that club just down the street.”

           Gustavo almost chokes on his tea as he laughs, getting tea on his beard. “Wait, wait, wait, so you bailed on Linda and told her you were hanging out with me, only to go to a club and not let her know? I mean, again, you’re not on a leash, but still…!”

            Smiling and nodding as he sips his tea, Noe realizes how right Gustavo is. “It gets better. My cousins friends were there, of course. One of them, Selene…Celia…I know her but I don’t actually know her, right? Anyway, not important. So she’s there and we’re just catching up. Nothing important. One of Linda’s friends was there too.  I guess she saw me with what’s her name and took pictures of it to make it look like I was actually there with her.”

           Leaning back in his wicker chair, Gustavo ponders the situation. His brow furrows. “Okay, so you were there with an old family friend. Easy enough to explain. Plus, your cousin had to call or text you to let you know what they were doing, right? Like, an invitation text or something that came from your cousin. Easy enough to show that you were there for your cousin and everything can, like, be explained from there.”

           Sitting up in his chair, smiling, Noe becomes eager to discuss his revelation. “Yeah, and I was about to. I had the texts and everything from my cousin. If I had to, I could’ve called her and she could’ve cleared everything up. But things with Linda weren’t…well, they’re just bad. I mean, she’s…no, I’ve been wanting out. And I figure this was the most painless way.”

           The confusion continues to wash over Gustavo. “Painless? What do you mean? Linda thinks you cheated on her.”

           “Yeah, and I let her. I even added some details to really let her think I did. Okay, if I wanted to break up with her, it would’ve been a whole thing, she would be asking why and I’d have to tell her all the things I don’t like about her. But this way, she gets something to be mad at. She gets to think nothing is wrong with her and I get to cut the ties. Yeah, I got a drink thrown at me and it was a rough few minutes, but it was much easier than a rough couple of hours or however long it would’ve been.”

           “You got a drink thrown at you?”

           Noe nods.

           Gustavo strokes his beard, staring at the table in contemplation as the unraveling of events. “So you’d rather let her think you cheated instead of having a legit break up? I mean, it gets the job done, but still, just to avoid the drama you let a different kind of drama take it’s place?”

           Noe seems baffled. He realizes the situation might not be the ideal way to break up. But there was no harsh argument. No drawn out tension. And he didn’t have to explain himself. 

           A buzz resonates from Noe’s pocket. Pulling out his phone, he’s baffled at the caller. “Fuck, Linda’s calling. Why would she be calling?”

           Shrugging his shoulders, Gustavo takes a sip of his tea. “You don’t have to answer, you know. I mean, you’re broken up, right? No obligation to talk to her? Besides, you know you’d rather not, right?”

           Getting up from his wicker chair, Noe heads for an exit as he taps on the phone, feeling an urge to know why Linda is calling. “Hello?”

           “Hey, listen, I want us to talk. I’m still pissed at you, but when you were caught, you didn’t try to lie or anything. I know guys, I mean, actually know guys, who even when they’re caught would stick with any lie even when they’re busted. But you came clean. No fuss. I just, I don’t know. I wanna talk through this. I think we still have something.”

           Feeling his shoulders drop, Noe wonders how this could possibly happen. He figured no woman would accept a cheater. “Why? I mean…well, what about ‘once a cheater, always a cheater’?”

           “That’s total b.s. I know we can get past this. I just think…wait…okay, I’m with a friend here, told her what happened. She thinks this is a bad idea, but I don’t think so. I don’t want to toss away what we have. I can be at your place at around 7:00. That work out for you?”

           A simple no becomes impossible for Noe. He thought he found the perfect resolution. A solution to a situation he wouldn’t have to face. He’d love to lie to Linda, telling her he won’t be home. That he moved. That he’s hospitalized. That he’s in jail. Or she can’t come over. That they’re done. That she’s seen the last of him. That they both get to move on.

“Yeah, I’ll be home.”