A Purple Cookout

A.

Ramiro stops his easy gait, bends down, and inspects a purple flower — that's all he can call it because he doesn't know much about flowers. He tears it, gently, from its stalk. Yasmine and Diana keep walking ahead and when they feel like they may have walked too far they stop. Yasmin calls out, "Ramiro, what are you doing?" Yasmin then turns to Diana and gives a knowing face which says: Ramiro can be so weird and random. Ramiro runs toward his two cousins, again this feels light and easy for him, and when he finally reaches them, he holds out his hand and tells them how incredibly pretty this purple flower is, how lively the purple is. 

Diana says, "You seem so excited about this flower. It's just a flower." 

Yasmin punches Diana's shoulder and they both giggle. 

Ramiro hasn't seen them since childhood — at least seven years ago — and now they're all in high school; Ramiro a freshman, Yasmin and Diana both Juniors. Ramiro feels good, even euphoric talking to his cousins. He tells them that his first semester wasn't terribly bad. He lets them know that even though he didn't make any friends, at least he didn't get bullied, which was his worse fear. Yasmin and Diana giggle at this and call him a loner, jokingly. Ramiro likes the joke and laughs along. Of course, he knows he's not a loner, he just needs more time. 

"I know some people I really want to be friends with, though," says Ramiro. "They dress really cool and are quiet and nice. Their names are Esmeralda and Vianney. I just know. They're natural, cool, introverts just like me." An organic smile grows on his face.

"Those sound like girl names," says Yasmin. "Are they girls?" 

Ramiro nods confidently, uninhibitedly. He reaches into his phone and opens his list of contacts. A tinge comes across his smile. He only has phone numbers from family members. He makes two new contacts: Esmeralda and Vianney. The only thing blank is their phone numbers, which he promises won't be blank by the end of this upcoming semester. 

B.

Eduardo licks the steak seasoning off his hands. The saltiness tickles his brain's pleasure centers. He walks inside the apartment and hears whistles coming from the living room TV. A professional football game is playing. 

Eduardo is preparing for a carne asada cookout. Right now, only his two nieces have arrived but he expects his brothers and sisters to be here any minute. He finds his nieces annoying and so he's glad when he learns that they are going on a walk with his son, he can prepare the meat alone. His phone beeps: It's a notification from his diabetes app that his sugar levels are increasing. He looks down at his beer, holds it up to the purple, Californian sunset sky, and tells himself: I'm okay. I've worked hard. I don't have to work on the weekends anymore. I can enjoy this beer and a few more. I'm okay.

Another beep emits. This time when he checks his phone his blood spikes and his breath becomes shallow. His porn subscription has notified him that new unreleased pictures have been released. He quickly slides open the notification and before he can ogle at the pictures he hears the front door unlock.

"Do you know where my phone charger is?" asks Maria, hurriedly. 

Eduardo gets up from the couch and, noticing the stress Maria is wearing, tries to hug her. 

Maria nudges him off. "Do you know where my charger is? This new client I met today asked if I had this money app I'd never heard of and when I tried to download it, my phone died. Now I don't know if I'll get paid and I cleaned his fucking house for 4 hours." Maria's eyes are watery. 

Eduardo doesn't care about her struggles or complaints. She has cheated on him before. She owes me a good attitude when I'm trying to relax, he thinks. Instead, Eduardo tries to explain that everything will be okay and that she need not to worry. Maria holds a blank, listless stare on her face as if she were dead. Eduardo tries to kiss her and when she dodges he grips the back of her neck and slams his lips on hers. After a short make-out session, Maria tells her husband that she has to leave soon. She needs to clean another house — a house 45 minutes away. 

Eduardo doesn't say anything, just stares at her, alcohol slowly, suffusing his blood vessels. A thought lands tenderly in a crevice of his brain: Sex. Maria makes her way toward the kitchen to grab a snack before her next shift and as she does Eduardo thinks to himself: Fucken ungrateful bitch. I give you everything. He resumes his spot on the couch and opens another beer. 

Maria, hastily, shoves a tamarindo dulce into her mouth and heads back toward the front door. She's tired and irritated. She thinks: Clients always pay in cash. Now I've done 4 hours of free work. On top of that debacle, she now has to drive in California traffic for the next 45 minutes to clean another house — not a house, a mansion. She wasn't planning on saying bye to her husband but when she notices his open phone on the ground she picks it up and flings it at him, almost hitting his head. The front door slams shut. Heavy tears reside on her cheeks. 

A1.

Yasmin mentions that they have been out for some time and that the cookout must be well underway. The word cookout is special right now, especially to Ramiro. He glances up at Yasmin's face, first mouthing the word cookout, before finally saying the word cookout.

Yasmin's confused and looks at Diana for confirmation. Diana's not paying attention so she ask's, "Cookout? What, Ramiro?"

"I've been so excited for the cookout tonight," Ramiro says, placing a friendly hand on Yasmin's wrist. "The thought of family gatherings makes me happy."

Yasmin is silent. She's annoyed about Ramiro's positive outlook, maybe even his happiness. She knows that Ramiro's dad has gone to jail multiple times. She knows that Ramiro has had a rough childhood. She knows Ramiro is a little off, different from the rest of the boys in the family, but she doesn't care, she doesn't want him to be excited. "Ramiro, do you want to smoke? We can do it before we go back." Diana pinches Yasmin's arm, giving her a face that says: What are you talking about?

Ramiro is excited about this offering. His heart rate increases, he can even feel his eyes start to get emotional. No one ever asks him to do anything, especially like this. Before he could answer, Yasmin adds, "Are you scared? Are you scared that the weed will bring the true Ramiro out?" 

"You know all the cool boys at our school smoke," Diana mocks, "you can be like a normal boy. Wouldn't you want that? Don't you want to fit in?"

Ramiro is confused about Yasmin's and Diana's intentions but the kindness of the offer still lingers within him. "Yes! I want to show you guys the real me and if smoking can help me do that, I'm all up for it." 

Yasmin is getting increasingly annoyed. She starts to make up scenarios in her head, ones in which Ramiro is displaying his excitement to his classmates and they shun him. She even hopes that some of his classmates, ones that he saw potential in friendship, ones that he really hoped would extend a generous hello, crush him. "I'll invite this cute boy to smoke with us too, you would like that, huh?" 

Ramiro nods, letting Yasmin know that he would love to meet her friends. 

AB.

The football game is still playing but Eduardo isn't paying attention. In fact, he hasn't been paying attention for the past half hour. He's been locked onto his phone, scrolling and scrolling, almost mindlessly into oblivion. While he was scrolling, he could smell the meat start to burn, the smoke running under his nose, but it never registered. 

The front door opens, the sound causing Eduardo to lock his phone and shove it into his pocket. Ramiro and his two cousins walk in. Eduardo gets up from the couch and acts like he's been tending to the meat in the kitchen. When he looks up, he notices that Ramiro is still at the door, this time holding it open and soon two of his brothers and one of his sisters walks in. 

One of his brothers calls outs, "Eduardo, we've been waiting outside and knocking for the past 20 minutes! Where've you been?" 

Eduardo apologizes and says that he's been busy preparing. He exits the apartment and looks down at the grill. The steak is salvageable, a little burnt but that's okay. Before adjusting the meat, he feels a tap on his shoulder and is surprised to see Yasmin's face so close to his. He can see all her juvenile makeup which intrigues him. 

Yasmin tells Eduardo that she and Diana need to talk to him in private and that it's about his son. Eduardo says okay and they walk back into the apartment, through the kitchen, where everybody is setting down the food they brought, and into a bedroom. 

Ramiro sees this happening and feels like his stomach is turning inside out. He wants to throw up but he can't, his aunt is talking to him and telling him how much he's grown since she's last seen him. He has an idea — he knows — what Yasmin and Diana are going to tell his dad. He thinks: Maybe I'm just high and this is how being high is supposed to feel like. 

AB1.

It's been a couple of hours into the cookout and when Eduardo looks around, seeing his family eat, he feels proud, he knew one day this could happen. He thinks back to when his siblings were growing up in Mexico. He wants to cry but holds it in. He looks across the table and see's his son, Ramiro, sitting by himself, eating and looking around. He thinks it's funny; everyone else is on their phones but his son is looking around. My son seems very content, he thinks, that's just how he's always been since birth. 

Eduardo's brother comes up to him and tells him that Yasmin and Diana have just told him something. "You know out of everyone in the family," he says, drunkenly, "I never thought that you would have the special boy." He chuckles and leaves back to his seat. 

Eduardo and Ramiro make eye contact. Ramiro gives his dad a nice smile and starts to, exaggeratedly, stuff meat into his mouth, letting him know that he loves the food that his dad made. 

Fatherly emotion rushes Eduardo's face, seeping into his nose and eyes. He walks over to his son and asks if he would be willing to walk to the front yard. Ramiro nods and when he reaches out so they can hold hands, Eduardo grabs it. 

"You're so, so special," Eduardo says, kneeling down on the front yard grass so he can make direct eye contact with Ramiro. "Don't let anyone change who you are. I love you, no matter what. And nothing can ever, ever change that, son." 

Eduardo places his forehead onto Ramiro's forehead, the purple, Californian sunset in the background.