Goodbye to Turning Tables

“...Last, and definitely not least, everyone please give a warm thank you to the beautiful, intelligent Bella Howard. Honestly speaking, I would not be half the man I am now if it was not for her. I love you, Bella….” I bite my lip as I hear him say those words, slumping into a fantasy. I love you too, I reply in my head. “Bella! Bella!” I snap back into reality, as his green eyes gaze at me from afar. “What do you think of my speech, for tomorrow night?” Eli replies standing on the couch, acting as his stage.

“I love it! And I know they will too,” I lie, not hearing a single word passed ‘I love you’ in his seductive British accent. 

“Cool, I am really excited about tomorrow. You know how passionate I am about this. I just want everything to be perfect.”

“And it will be,” I reassure him. Eli and I have been working on this Save The Ocean Charity Gala for over a year now, and tomorrow will be the day when all of our hard work will finally pay off; however the anxiety of whether the gala will actually be enough to fund the marine debris project has been a looming recurrence in both of our heads. We stare at each other for a moment, before Eli forces out a yarn.

“Well it's getting late, and I am knackered. I think I should leave now so that I can try to beat what's left of traffic,” he says referring to the congestion on Harbor Freeway that I get a perfect view of from my apartment living room window.

“You can sleep over here if you want? I’ll get you a blanket and pillow for the couch, it doesn’t only make for a great stage but also a super comfy bed,” I joke.

He gives me a charming smile that only welcomes denial, “I would Bella, but you know the venue is much closer to my house, and I would rather get an earlier start for tomorrow.”

“Yeah, that makes sense...Um, let me walk you out,” I pick up my gray pullover from the coach and quickly put it on.

We make our way down to the parking garage that is oddly empty, which only drags out our walk of awkward silence. Trying to avoid eye contact with Eli, I fumble with my phone that reads 12:10am. The quietness that illuminates the garage, makes our being together feel secretive, but what is there to hide. Just two twenty-four years old friends saying goodbye to each other… nothing else.

“Goodbye, Bella,” Eli says, gripping the car handle of his Mazda MX-5. Ugh, I hate this part, I think to myself. I reach out to give him a hug, and we embrace for a moment too long. He steps back not allowing the hug to last any longer. I further myself from him feeling a wave of embarrassment flood over me. “Bella, please don't. We talked about this.”

“I know. I know,” I say pushing him away as he tries to come closer. I am not actually mad at him, but at myself for doing this to our relationship again. The first time, it was Eli who developed the feelings, and of course, I shot him down. At the time I felt that it was just best if we focused on our newly developed charity, but recently I have been regretting that decision. Why is it so hard for guys and girls to just be friends? “I was just testing you,” I lie trying to give him a convincing smirk, which he surprisingly believes.

“Bella, you can’t do that,” he laughs and playfully nudges my shoulder. “Alright, well I have to get going. I’ll see you at the gala tomorrow.” He gets into his sports car, and rides away. Before leaving the complex, he screams out the window, “You better get some sleep, you’re going to need it!” 

A smile conquers my face for a brief moment before it is replaced with tears. He will always leave me crying.

Our relationship at one time was not this complicated, but it is hard to think of a time when feelings did not get in the way. Eli and I met when we were eighteen. We were both volunteer counselors at a summer camp in Cheviot Hills. I had been going through some family issues that forced me to leave my home in New York City, and at the time he had just left his home in England. We instantly hit it off both being young wanderers in a new environment searching for a haven. Our passion for protecting the planet made our connection even deeper, and now six years later we have founded our own charity. Everything was smooth sailing until three years ago. Eli had asked me to be his date for his brother’s wedding in London, and of course I agreed. However, I did not know that trip would just end up being an emotional roller coaster, where Eli admits that he wants to be more than friends, kisses me, and then leaves me looking like the bad guy. I would not recommend the ride. Everything happened so fast. I only saw him as a friend at the time, so my initial reaction was turning him down. When I shut him down, it broke the vase, that is our friendship. Once a vase is broken, the shattered pieces never fit back together quite the same. “I wish I had a time machine,” I sulk to myself as I wait for the elevator to reach my floor. 

When I reach the comfort of my apartment, I grab a tub of ice cream out the freezer, plop on the couch, and play back the film of our relationship in the theater of my mind. Maybe our friendship was never stable to begin with. I mean sure, out of it we built such an amazing organization, which I am immensely proud of, but the foundation of our relationship is filled with baggage on both ends. There is still so much about me that Eli does not know, and nor do I plan on sharing it with him, well at least not now. Maybe we were never really the best of friends that I had imagined us to be all these years. Maybe we are just business partners. Stop it Bella! Stop it! I snap out of it. “I think I am letting the stress of this event get the best of me,” I think aloud. “Eli and I are fine. Everything is fine.” I get up off the couch and go to the mirror that hangs over the accent table in my living room. I look myself in the eyes, “Don’t let feelings get in the way of your accomplishment. Tomorrow is going to be the best day of Bella Howard’s entire life and nothing is going to change that!”

************

           I stare into that same mirror where I had given myself a pep talk the night before admiring my glammed appearance. I apply one last layer of red lipstick to go along with my black feather cocktail dress, pearl headband, and fishnet tights to reflect the roaring twenties theme. I throw my faux fur collar scarf over my shoulder to bring a little elegance to the look. I take one final spin in the mirror, before glancing down at my phone to see that my Uber driver has arrived. Eli had offered me a ride, but I am still too embarrassed about yesterday. I rather just face him at the party, where it will be easier to escape any awkward silence.

Once arriving at the gala, I see lights flashing, bottles popping, and people dancing. “Woah,” I say, mesmerized by The Great Gatsby aesthetic. The second I walk in, I am offered a drink by a male server, and by his appearance, this might not be his only night job. He gives me a wink before going to serve other guests. “Wow! Eli has really out done himself,” I say catching a single piece of gold confetti in my palm.

“You think so?” I turn around to see Eli with his pearly white smile. “You look beautiful, Bella,” He grins, kissing me on my left cheek.

“Thank you, and you know this is amazing,” I reply playfully hitting his bicep.

“Hey, I have someone I want you to meet. Follow me!” he yells as he tries to out beat the music. I follow him throughout the crowd as we approach a tall blonde, standing with a group of potential clients. Her back remains turned to us until Eli taps her shoulder. The Barbie wannabe turns around, keeping her attention fixed on Eli. “This is Avani Schyler, my girlfriend,” he turns to look at her, “And this is my best friend Bella Howard.” He puts his arm around her waist, making my blood boil. We look each other up and down, before our eyes meet, sharing a mutual unspoken moment. 

“Bella Howard, you say?” she mockingly questions allowing the words to draw out on her lips. She takes a sip of her champagne keeping her beady eyes locked on me. 

“Yes, Bella Howard,” I snap back, increasing the tension in the room. 

Eli looks at the two of us unable to recognize the rising hostility. “I am shocked the two of you never met before. Bella, Avani is a key contributor to many earth preserving charities across the U.S.”

“And don’t forget about the animals,” she giggles, revealing how empty-headed she really is. Picking up my irritation, she passionately kisses him, knowing that she will set me off.

“Will you excuse me,” I say, breaking up their little moment. I stride off maintaining my classiness. As I make my way to the restroom, I pass the server who gave me my first drink. He tries to make small talk with me, but I brush him off picking up three more glasses. 

I close myself in a stall, trying to make sense of the events that just transpired. Tears well up in my eyes. How is it that my family always have a way of ruining what I want. I scream in my head, gulping down my fourth glass of champagne. Eli does not know this, but Avani and I are cousins; and she, along with the rest of my family was dead to me until now.

Flashbacks of a time before Eli was in my life, role though my head. When I moved to Los Angeles six years ago, my family and I were not on the best of terms. I even went as far as changing my name so that I would not have any association with them. When I met Eli all those years back, I did tell him that I was from New York. However, I might have left out the fact that my parents were Richard Rutherford and Blair Schyler-Rutherford, both stemming from generational wealth. Growing up I had always despised being born into that wealth. I hated the stereotyping, the special treatment, the freeloaders, the leeches as friends, and the fact that I would never be able to make a name for myself. I could not live knowing that I would always be known as Arabella, the daughter of billionaires, and not Arabella, the girl who wants to make the world a better place. So, I made it very clear to my parents that I wanted to be snipped from the money tree, and they did not take it well. The sit down with my parents snowballed into a yelling and screaming match that ended with me swearing that I never wanted another thing nor to see another face from the Rutherford-Schyler family ever again. I have been staying true to that promise until she, Avani, came into the picture. I tuck those memories back down. With a spinning head I walk out of the restroom, to see a very furious Eli coming my way. He aggressively takes my arm and leads me to some private room. “Hey, that hurts,” I say yanking my arm back as we reach our destination.

“I am sorry, but look, what you did was rude. All I tried to do was introduce the two most important girls in my life to each other.” I huff to his response. “What?” 

“You know what...” I say pointing at him, barely able to get the words out. 

Eli throws his hands in the air with anger. “You weren’t joking yesterday. You truly have feelings for me.”

“Well, so what if I do?” I scream back, swinging my arms dramatically. 

“Bella, you shut me down three years ago, and now you won't let me move on. That’s selfish! I found a girl I am really happy with, and you won't let me have that.”

“You don't even know her,” I mumbled under my breath.

“And you do?” He yells at me. He analyzes me for a second recognizing that I have overdone it with the drinks. “Look at you, you are drunk. Let me call you a ride to take you home. I’ll handle it, just stay here,” He sits me down on a fold-able chair, as I realize that we are backstage. “I left my phone in my jacket at coat check, I will be right back.” He leaves. 

I get up from the chair growing impatient and stumble up the stairs so that I can get out of this confined room. Suddenly, I am blinded by spotlights with a crowd of people standing in front of me. Oops, wrong way. I hear a loud applause as everyone notices immediately that I am on stage. Feeling the pressure of the audience, I grab the microphone from the stand and try to remember my speech. “Good evening everyone,” I gulp. “Thank you for… thank you for joining us all...um...tonight,” I slur. I feel the eyes of the crowd burning holes into me, but my brain is not working. I look up to see Eli busting into the ballroom, knowing that I am making a fool of myself. I dart my eyes over to see Avani, and seeing her smug face gets me started. “So, you know we are all here to raise funds for projects that will save our oceans and sea creatures. But guess what you guys? We can’t do that! And do you know why? Because there is a faker in our midst… that’s right. Someone among us wears snakeskin boots and chinchilla coats—.”

Eli comes up from behind me and takes the mic doing a nervous laugh into it. “Alright, thank you Bella. You are so funny. Everyone, give a hand to Bella.” He attempts to walk me backstage, but I refuse.

“Hey, I am not done yet!” I try to fight him.

“Yes, you are,” He says, finally taking me to the back. He sits me back down, making sure I cannot leave this time. “What is wrong with you? I have worked so hard for the past 6 years for this, and you ruin it.”

“Our friendship or the charity?”

“Both! Bella, what is going on? Talk to me.” I take a couple of seconds to think before I speak because my mouth has been my trouble.

“You are dating the girl that I am. I am Avani,” I ramble.

He looks at me with confusion written on his face. “Can you just be serious for once?” He says getting ready to leave.

“I am. I lied to you, Eli. My name is not Bella Howard, it is Arabella Whitney Rutherford. I lived with both of my billionaire parents, I grew up in an 88 million dollar mansion in the Upper East Side, I went to private schools all my life, and until the age of seventeen, I never lifted a finger to do a single chore. And I lied and I am sorry. But…but I was tired of my family dictating who I will be. I want to make my own name and not have one handed down to me. I want people to see the real me, for you to see the real me. Someone who is kind and gives a flying flip about the world outside of fame and wealth. I did not want you to label me as some stuck-up diva. Yet, you are now with a girl that is cut from the same cloth as me. I lied for you, and now you overlooked me.” He looks down miserably, as if he has just lost something precious to him. “Please, say something?”

“Are you saying that our whole friendship is built on a lie?”

“Yes, I am so sorry.” I see tears forming in his eyes. 

“Arabella Rutherford, Bella Howard, whatever your name is, I can’t be friends with you anymore.”

“Eli, you don’t mean that,” I say, trying to hug him, but this time he pushes me away. He bites his lip and shakes his head in disbelief.

“I do, Bella. You have lied to me for the past 6 years, when I have been nothing but honest to you. I poured my heart out to you, and now you are trying to flip this on me? This is not my fault. Please just…just go.”

“No!” I yell out in anger. “You can’t kick me out. This event...this charity is mine just as much as yours,” I stamper.

“I don’t care. My lawyers will call you on Monday. I’ll buy you out.” I look at him unable to comprehend the words he is saying right now. “Goodbye Arabella.” For the first time, I leave him crying.