Stalker Vibes?

I love my job. I get to experience two people who love each other so greatly that they spend thousands of dollars and hours of time perfecting the day they start the rest of their lives together. I always thought that was so amazing, how someone could love a person so much that they would do anything for them. They would die for them. They love each other no matter their faults. They are always there for each other. They can tell each other everything, with no shame at all. Now that's true love. That's the kind of love I want to have, the unconditional kind. I've always wanted a traditional life. Go to college, get married, have a big family. To others it seems cheesy and cliche, but that's what I imagine my perfect life as. Having a striving career, a loving husband, and kids that make me proud.

"Hey would you mind not daydreaming and getting on the dance floor with me?" I can recognize that sarcastic voice anywhere.

"Hmm let me think about that...no." I reply.

"Ohhh come on pleaseeeeee?"

"You know I can't dance!" I cry out.

"Of course I know that, but nobody else does, I need them to see your legendary dancing skills."

"I think I'm fine with them never knowing."

"Come on Jane, I know you're technically on the job but you're a guest too, it's your best friend's wedding. Aka me!"

"I guess I can't turn down an offer from the bride." I say with a roll of my eyes.

Mika is my best friend. We haven't known each other for long, but our connection runs deeper than any of my friends that I've known for years. She's the charismatic friend. I actually used to be insanely jealous of her in college. She could just go with the flow. I wanted to be like her. I wanted to be her. But I soon realized that isn't who I am. And I'm not gonna change myself to be that way. So why was I stressing about it? After that I stopped envying her and loving her instead. She's my ride or die. My 4lifer.

"Okay did you just zone out again at my wedding? Sooo there is now officially a no zoning out rule okay?"

"Sorry I was just remembering the good ole college days." I say with a somewhat remorseful look.

"Yeah those were the good days, but today is even better!" She says with the biggest smile ever. I'm happy that she's happy.

"Let's go dance!" She says, now pulling my arm.

"Okay but at least let me bring my camera so I can take some pictures."

"Fine but you better not use it as an excuse for not dancing to your fullest extent, or else it's going back in the case!"

4 hours and many dances later I'm back at home, with not as many pictures as I hoped and $2000 more than I had on the way there. I insisted that Mika didn't pay me. She is my best friend. But she insisted that it was a lot of work to take pictures at a wedding for nearly 8 hours and said that work shouldn't go unpaid. I agreed, after all I am not one to resist extra money. I hear knocking, I already know who it is. I open the door dreading the moment I see his face, I kinda hate him.

"Your a month behi-" I slap the cash in his hand before he can finish his sentence. He looks surprised.

"Well you still o-" he tries to say.

"It's due on the 26th isn't it?"

"Yes but I-"

"What day is it?" I say, nearly dying from this humiliating and boring conversation.

"It's the 22nd bu-"

"Okay then...bye!" I slam the door in his face. Finally I hear his footsteps recede down the hallway. Did I forget to mention that I am somewhat poor? Because I am. You might be thinking, how can you be poor as a wedding photographer? Well without a degree in this field and not much experience, it's kind of hard to get a job. Besides this is just a side gig until I can get a job for what I actually majored in. I mean I love photography but it's not what I want to do with my life. I want to be a psychologist. I have always found the mind to be interesting. Especially the emotions we experience and why. I feel emotions somewhat differently than others do. Well maybe not different, but just more. My passion and love mostly. I've always felt this way, even as a younger kid. In middle school I was the only one who had a passion for politics, global warming, discrimination and things of that sort. It made me feel weird sometimes because I felt like I was the only one my age who had a really mature side and who actually cared about things that didn't just involve them. That's why I loved high school and college so much. I finally found people who thought like I did and cared about the same things I did too. It was amazing. Meeting people who felt so passionate about the same issues as me made me feel so understood. Anyway, it's not gonna be like this forever. I have a plan that hopefully ends with me being a successful multimillionaire with a family that I love. But, that won't be for some time so for right now, I've gotta stick with this. I hear knocking again.

"What do you want now?" I open the door.

"Sorry, I thought you were my landlord." I say apologetically with a shy smile.

"No problem. Uh, that'll be $16.50."

"Right, here you go." I hand him the money, close the door, run to my bed and do a giant belly flop.

"Ugh!" Why do I constantly embarrass myself?

I hear knocks, again. What this time, I ask myself.

"Uh yeah sorry but this is only a ten and two nickels."

"Oh My Gosh. I am so sorry...I didn't even realize." His eyes glance around the room.

"Actually you know what it's fine, it looks like you need the money."

"Excuse me?" I say with a slight voice crack. It didn't sound as intimidating as I wanted it to.

"Sorry I didn't mean that in a bad way, but I mean, look around." I slam the door in his face. I crumple against the door and start sobbing. This isn't the way I had imagined my post college life. I thought it would be smooth sailing. I was supposed to get an internship that would jump start my career. Maybe meet a cute guy to date. Live in a place, at least nicer than this. But no, this is my life. At this point I'm kind of considering marrying rich. Not seriously though. But maybe?

"Oh no!"

"What? What's happening?"

"Sorry, nothing serious, it's just...pizza guy."

"Wow, you had me actually worried there for a sec." She says with an annoyed grin.

"Sorry." I reply with a shrug. My pizza guy encounter had only been two weeks ago. I was still a little embarrassed whenever I thought about it.

"Let's go talk to him!" She exclaims.

"Yeah and I'll go ask for his number too." I say mockingly.

"Yeah go do it!"

"Are you crazy!? NO!"

"Why not? And look at the guys he's with, kinda cute."

"Says the married woman." I reply.

"I mean for you not me, obviously." She eventually convinces me to go over to him. How does she have this power over me? We always end up in these situations and I always end up doing the stupid thing that she suggested. But they always make good stories to laugh at a couple weeks later.

"Hey...remember me?"

"Oh hey!" he says

"This is the broke girl I was telling you about the other day."

"Excuse me?" I asked, shocked.

"Again, didn't mean that in a bad way, college students have all been broke at one time or another. Well except for those preppy rich kids who got in by a 'family friend'."

"Yeah," I let out through a stifled laugh.

 "Hey I'm gonna go grab a coffee real quick. Either of you guys want anything?" His friend asks.

"Nah I'm good, thanks." We both reply in unison. We look at each other and laugh. We talk about some things, apparently he just graduated from college as well.

"Sooo, I was kind of avoiding asking you this since I semi hated you before this conversation. But, can I have your friends number?"

"Yeah I'll ask him, here's my number until he agrees." He types it in.

"How do you know that?"

"I mean you are pretty cute." He says with a grin as he walks away.

Is it possible to become completely infatuated with someone in literally one second? He was just so attractive in that moment. He grinned at me and I saw him in a whole new light. He wasn't the rude pizza guy anymore he was the potential boyfriend. And now I can fully vouch for those cologne companies. They really are chick magnets.

"Ahhhhh Mika answer your phone." Why does she always miss my calls when I'm in dire need of help. Hey. That's all the text says. How am I supposed to respond to that???

After hours of contemplating I finally landed on "hi :)"

"Wow your a pretty late texter lol." he responds. \

"Yeah sorry about that. Are you gonna get stalker vibes if I tell you that I spent hours thinking of what to say?"

"No not really, I did the same thing." he says. I feel very relieved.

"So are you going to get complete stalker vibes if I ask you out?" he says.

"Wow, I wasn't expecting that. Hoping, but not expecting lol. And yes. Yes to the asking our part not the stalking part :)"

"When and where?" he replies.

"Well I was kinda hoping you might come to this wedding with me..."

I never expected to end up liking him over the cute guy. Very weird...but I guess the heart wants what the heart wants. Anyway, it definitely ain't true love, but it sure is a chance at it.