More Than What One Sees

Submitted into Contest #267 in response to: Write a story set against the backdrop of a storm.... view prompt

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Suspense Fiction Sad

The sky was pitch black that night. The only source of light came from occasional lightning bolts that crackled loudly. The moon was in hiding, and the stars seemed to have abandoned the skies. Despite the rolling thunder, rain did not grace the earth with her nourishment.

Beneath the raging sky sat a white farmhouse. Within its second floor a woman lay in her bed encompassed in a deep sleep that caused her ears to be deaf to the angry sounds of the rumbling thunder and the lighting’s aggressive whip. Her sleeping eyes were scrunched tightly as if she were fighting a pain in her head. Her left arm draped over the side of her bed, and her knuckles rested on the rough wood floor.

A tingling sensation went down her nearly numb arm and made her fingers twitch. Her resting mouth grimaced with every quiver that jerked her curled fingers.

“No,” she said audibly, but her mind was still asleep.

Through her closed eyelids the spheres of her eyes could be seen darting back and forth as she wrestled an unwelcome dream.

Within her slumbering mind, she sat on a hard wooden chair in an abstract room that only a dream could create. The chair gradually warped into a more uncomfortable form until sharp wooden spikes began to grow on its back. The spikes shot forward in a sudden motion, piercing the woman's spine. She lunged, trying to escape the awful pain, only to find that tight ropes were bound around her ankles, arms, and waist, holding her to the chair. She screamed as more searing pain shot up her back.

“Melina.” She heard her name spoken so softly with much love. 

She looked up, gasping from the sharp anguish she felt throughout her body.

“Enzo,” she said with a sudden peace that, for a moment, flooded her bloodstream and muffled her agony.

“I have to go,” Enzo said calmly.

His blue eyes looked tenderly at her.

“No, don't go,” Melina begged then let out a gut-wrenching yell as the wooden spikes stabbed deeper into her.

“I have to,” Enzo replied serenely.

He backed away. The walls of the abstract room began to engulf him.

“No, no, wait, I'm coming! I'm coming!” Melina exclaimed desperately.

She tried to fight against the strong ropes that held her in her miserable state, but no amount of force could break them. 

The spikes dug deeper into her as she wailed, “Don't leave me, Enzo! Don't leave me!”

CRACK!

A flash of lightning lit up Melina's room. She shot up from her bed, panting. She instantly placed her hands upon her heaving back and sighed with relief to know that there were no punctures.

She laid back down, pulling her blanket up to her shoulders. Her wide eyes stared vacantly at the wall across the room. A sudden rupture of unsuspected tears poured out, streaming down her cheeks.

She blubbered as she grabbed the tissue box that sat on her nightstand. Her fingers touched the bottom of the cardboard — no tissues.

She opened her nightstand drawer and dug around searching for a little packet of new ones. The tip of her pointer finger caught hold of something round and thin. She pulled her hand up to look at the object and let out a tormented sound. Her engagement ring glistened as lightning illuminated the room. She instinctively dropped the ring in the drawer and slammed the drawer shut.

“All I wanted were simple things, I never asked for much!” she screamed.

BOOM! CRACK!

A startling vibration pulsed through Melina’s bedroom floor. It seemed to have been caused by something downstairs. She jumped off her bed and threw open the door that led to the hallway. Black smoke and great heat drifted up the stairs.

“The lightning hit the house,” she whispered in a panic.

She slammed the door shut and rushed to the bedroom window. She slid it open, preparing herself to climb down the side of the house to safety, but when she leaned over the window ledge, she saw flames climbing up towards her.

She ran back to the door and buried her nose and mouth in her arm as she flung it open and darted out of the room. She slowed her pace when she reached the stairs and cautiously stepped down them, uncertain of what she would find at the bottom.

When her feet touched the living room carpet, she knew her descent was complete despite the thick cloud of smoke that made it nearly impossible to see what was in front of her. She coughed repeatedly as she squinted, trying to make out her path to the front door. Intense heat was beating against her, and she could see flames gathering throughout the room. She inched forward and finally saw the front door. A wreath of flames adorned its frame.

I have to get there before the whole door is on fire, Melina thought.

She quickened her pace, but stopped short, rapidly lifted her right foot off the ground, and winced. Hot embers had encountered her path.

An abrupt horrendous creaking sound erupted and the bookshelf that stood against the wall instantly collapsed. Flames flowed behind it like hair in the wind.

CRASH!

Melina let out a scream. Her left leg was captured beneath the heavy weight of wood and books. She could feel the heat of flames creeping towards her calf.

She suddenly felt lightheaded, realizing for the first time how fast she had been breathing since hearing the sound of the crashing bookcase, and the intake of smoke was catching up to her.

She wiggled her leg, grunting from the pain as the wood scraped her. She could only get her leg to budge a few inches. More coughing escaped her lungs. She placed her hands and forearms level against the carpet and attempted to pull herself forward but hardly had any success.

Her body flopped flat on the floor as she wheezed. She tightly shut her eyes, which were burning from the smoke. Her brown curls fell over her face, cutting off more airway to her nose and mouth. She left them there, preparing to succumb to her death.

A firm hand unexpectedly grabbed her own. She opened her eyes to see the shoes of a man.

“Come, Melina, we have to hurry,” he said.

His voice was so familiar. 

He let go of her hand and hurried to the bookshelf then lifted it up off her leg. She quickly pulled her knee upwards towards her body. The man grunted as he slowly pushed the burning bookshelf away from her.

He grabbed Melina's waist and lifted her up. She could've sworn she felt the touch of those hands before. 

Melina limped across the hot carpet that was sprinkled with embers and ash. The man's arms were wrapped around her as he guided her through the fiery room.

The front door, which was now encompassed in flames, was just inches away from them. A piece of burning ceiling caved in, falling downward towards the two travelers. The man pulled Melina to the floor and crouched over her, shielding her with his body. Melina, who was now flat on her back, saw the man's face for the first time when she opened her eyes after the crash from the segment of ceiling was over.

“Enzo,” she said with more breath than voice.

Her eyes stared in shock.

“Hi,” Enzo said gently with great love in his bright eyes. He brushed a curl away from Melina's forehead and tucked it behind her ear. Then with a more serious tone he said, “Now, we have to get you out of here.”

He pulled her up, grabbed her hand, and rushed to the door that was aflame. He kicked it with four firm kicks and all at once it gave way.

Melina couldn't help but laugh as they ran out of the burning house. They had made it!

She turned to smile at Enzo but saw no one. Her smile dropped. She looked around in a panic.

“Enzo! Enzo?!”

She limped over to a stump that was a field away from the blazing house and sat down. She touched her waist, her hands, her forehead, all the places she had felt Enzo.

“I don't understand,” she whispered.

Tears slid down her cheeks and neck.

“Melina.”

She jerked her head to the right then to the left. “Enzo?”

“Melina.” She heard Enzo's voice again. “I am gone, but you are here. The fire tried to take you, but you weren't meant to be taken yet. You may not see it now, but you have a future that is right before you. Find it.”

A great angry rumble rippled throughout the sky and a sudden downpour escaped the heavens. It beat upon the dry ground and quickly turned it into mud.

The fire that was eating up a portion of the house began to lose its hunger, and soon it became only a smoldering weak power that was succumbing to its fate.

The raindrops that fell upon Melina's face blended into her present tears.

“A future for me?” she whispered.

September 13, 2024 21:41

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1 comment

Shoshana Groom
23:26 Sep 18, 2024

Hi, Kendra! I'm one of your partners in the critique circle :) I hope my feedback is useful! I really loved your use of senses in your story's descriptions. It was easy to feel like I was in the house with Melina when I could 'hear' the crackling of the lightning, 'feel' the heat of the flames, etc. My advice for future stories would be to give us the background needed to appreciate the emotional moments before they happen. It was hard for me to feel invested in the ending because I didn't know who Enzo was or what his relationship with Me...

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