Under the cherry blossom

(Sensitive content: Contains mentions of substance abuse, suicide and mental health) She will never forget the day her world changed forever. It had happened on a warm spring day as she was on her way to the hospital to pick up the methadone that stopped her from pummelling back into her painkiller addiction. She trudged along dragging her feet, too self absorbed to lift her face and look out at the beautiful nature. Her mind was filled with horror of the past 12 months. Sometimes she couldn't believe all the events that had unfolded in such a short space of time. All crammed up tight into one year, it seemed unreal, unjust and unfair. First she had almost died from a perforated stomach ulcer that had left her in hospital for 3 months, multiple surgeries later she was deemed fit to leave the hospital. It was the painkillers, they had literally eaten away at her stomach and she vowed never to take them again. She had a second chance at life and she wasn't going to waste it. Yet she fell into the wrong crowd after leaving hospital and she ended up stuck in a domestic violence spiral with a person she thought she could trust. The person that used to babysit her as a child now enjoyed slamming her head into tables and telling her everyday she wasn't good enough as they stuck a syringe in her veins. The poison running into her blood stream was the only comfort she was given, it pretended to be her comforting friend as it set out to damage her from the inside out. Not long after all of this, she was in a horrific car accident that left her bedridden for weeks. Enough was enough, she couldn't handle the pain anymore. " I need to take control of my life!!!" she thought in desperation as she sent the message to her abuser, telling them to never come near her again. She threw out the needles and the evil white powder, she got the help she needed to get on the methadone program yet she felt something awful lurking around the corner. She had no idea what until the morning her mother called her in tears. " Your brother is dead, he just killed himself!!" As her mother begged her to pack a bag and jump on a bus to get to the family, her face paled and she screamed. She had loved her little brother so much, he was her only sibling and they had been through so much together growing up. It was her that had always been the depressed one, the self harmer the addict, the shy girl with not a shred of self worth..Her brother had been loved and popular, good at everything he tried ..Nobody knew he had internalised his pain until it had killed him, yet now people knew and it shattered them. She spent weeks with her family and though her body was hurting from the methadone withdrawals, she had to grin and bear it. The funeral had passed and it was time for her to go home back to her isolated little life. She thought of all this as she trudged to the hospital, her eyes blind to the bees buzzing, her ears deaf to the spring birdsong. All of a sudden a warm spring wind caressed her and her nose was overwhelmed by the indescribably delicious oriental scent of cherry blossoms. The smell engulfed her senses and forced her to lift her head up to the beautiful vision of the cherry blossom tree. Tears prickled her eyes as she slowly started to walk towards it. Once she was there she caressed the soft pink flowers with her finger, she inhaled the smell as her mind went back to all the hours she had spent with her little brother when they were children, painting pictures under a cherry blossom tree, they would seek out the tree whenever they needed to get away from their abusive father and would sit under the beautiful blossoms creating art until their fathers rage had died down. The tree always gave them feelings of hope on a hopeless day, the sheer beauty forced them to remember there was still beauty in the world if you just opened your senses to it. Now on this sad day she felt a warm caress from an invisible hand on her shoulder. She heard a faraway voice on the wind, whispering into her ear " There's still beautiful things to experience in your life sis, don't ever give up. I will always be with you, i am at peace now but I would love for you to experience a life with beauty". She felt a warmth engulf her entire being, it was the warmth of pure endless love. It was a much better rush than drugs and she wept with relief under the cherry blossoms, feeling a new sense of peace and determination. As she stood up she whispered " I love you brother, I'll make you proud" and she continued to the hospital. Once she got there she asked them if she could start getting weaned off the methadone and she eventually stopped it altogether. She joined Narcotics anonymous and became able to live day to day without drugs. She got counselling to address her past traumas and started to go to art and craft groups to get used to socialising. This then led to offers to illustrate children's story books which gave her a steady income so she could save up and buy a little cottage in the country with a Donkey as a beloved companion. Her life may not have been perfect, she had to do work on a daily basis to maintain her newfound happiness. Yet she looked around each day completly awed by the incredible beauty that was hiding in plain sight and it was all thanks to a Cherry blossom tree swaying in the warm breeze on a spring afternoon. She planted one in her garden and every Spring it's beauty was there to inspire her to live her very best life. The end