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Fiction Teens & Young Adult


Title: Crushed


Author: Monica 


Author’s Note: Hello everyone and thanks for stopping by to read this. This story to me, I tried to make it seem as unique as possible. While making this story I was sorta on a time crunch, but I pulled through and managed to pull it off. Hope you enjoy it!


I am prayiah Ru, I have flaming red hair, blue sapphire eyes and sharp pale skin. No one can mistake seeing me, but most of the time I beg people to stop staring at me. With their dark brown hair and perfect hazel eyes, I wish I could be as low key as they can be, but I just stand out instead of fit in. I am in bed staring at the ceiling, restless and exhausted. It’s 4am and I will not and cannot no matter how hard I try, fall asleep. Maybe I’m hungry, maybe I’m thirsty or maybe there’s something inside of me that triggers me to stay awake, but all I know is that I don’t wanna leave my warm and cozy bed.


I woke up groggy with my fuzzy and blurry eyes, I guess I did get some sleep last night. I don’t even remember falling asleep. I move my hands to the black round shape blur that is known as my new nerdy glasses. I went to the eye doctor just yesterday because my favourite pair of glasses, That were ripped from my face and shattered on the ground by Ryan Grainer, the meanest Jock in the school. I always wonder how he even has friends by being the rudest, meanest kid in 7th grade. My new glasses make me feel like the nerdiest kid because it makes my freckles pop out more.


I get out of my warm bed, that’s now filled with sweat. The minute I step out of my bed the cool air touches me and send goosebumps flying all over the place. I grab my clothes and sprint to my bathroom down the hall. I’m in competition with Kayla, my younger sister to get to the bathroom. Yes it’s the horrible truth, I have to share a bathroom with Kayla. The thing that’s completely unfair is that Kayla’s room is right beside the bathroom! Mine is down the hall.


I’m a few steps from the bathroom now and Kayla opens her door. I can feel my heartbeat get louder in my chest, I guess that distracted me from getting to the bathroom, because Kayla like a lightning bolt zoomed into the bathroom like it was nothing. Noo!!! Kayla takes FOREVER in the bathroom, like no kidding. If I don’t get ready then I’ll be late for school. Kayla goes to Middle school, which starts at 9:00am. It’s my first year in junior high which starts at 8:20am and Kayla takes about 1h to get ready. It’s 7am and I’m stuck on square 1 because I can’t do anything else, unless my parents make an exception. 


I nearly tumbled on the stairs, but luckily I made it down the stairs.

My slippers slide and I slip and fall on my back. Ouch, it's not the best morning in my opinion. My back feels sore and numb, well not really. I can still feel my back which was the problem.


 I get to the kitchen and nearly fall apart! Kayla ate all the Cereal!! The only breakfast left was mushy bananas in a bagel. I’m passing on breakfast this morning. 


I hear the bathroom door open from what seems like miles away. I run up the stairs and even though I want to run into the bathroom, I run to my room first. 


I grab my yellow thin soft shirt and my black legging pants. I also grab pink fuzzy socks from my dresser. I’m on a time crunch! I have less than 20 min. Left. That means I have to get my homework in my bag, get out of my pink PJs, brush my teeth, hair and make it in school on time! 


I slide myself out of my fuzzy PJs and into my clothes. Kayla! She left her clothes lying around everywhere! I ignore the damp air around me. Don’t have enough time to shower...I guess I’ll shower after school. My heart is racing in circles and I can’t think straight! I grab my toothpaste and toothbrush, squeeze the toothpaste onto my toothbrush using all the nail power I have. I brush my teeth, hard and fast. When I’m done that it’s 8:11am!! I grab my homework from my room and brush my red locks at the same time. My hair is too long to stay down, so I put it in a messy, long, high ponytail. I get to my bag and stuff my homework deep into it, then put it on. I check my light blue watch, OH NO!!!!! It’s 8:23am!! I’m sooo late. I shove my winter boots on then I sprint out of my house without a jacket, into the Freezing winter day.


 The snow on the ground is 14cm tall. My boots sink into the snow which is slowing me down greatly. I am already late, I don’t wanna be later. I let my feet bounce out of my frozen and stuck boots then I attempt running without my boots. The snow is cold and wet as it freezes my feet numb. I run and run on this cloudy cold winter morning without a rest. 


My boots? I probably won’t find them till spring when all the snow melts. 


My hands burn as red as my hair and feels like it’s gonna fall off. Almost there, I approach the school with swollen ankles, soggy socks, red hands and no shoes or boots in sight.


 I check my watch, which is almost completely frosted over. Oh forget it, there’s a clock inside the school no point in staying out here to try to read the itty bitty hands that are glazed over with ice, which doesn’t help. 


I push myself forward though the hard and locked doors. Uhhh…why are the doors in the school locked when people are learning? 


Anyways I drag my feet on the cement ripping my feet with the little sharp shards of glass.


 I get to the office door and push it open. The warm air hits me instantly, stinging my hands and feet badly. 


I launched into the office doors using the last bit of energy I had. The people in the office stopped and stared at me. Ms. Anderson, one of the people that were there gave me a spot to sit while she gave me new boots, shoes to borrow and a few band aids. 


“Thanks for the band aids,” I say, appreciating the help. She nods and I leave.


 I have my borrowed shoes on and I feel a little more protected.


 When I got into class everyone was looking at me strangely, even my bestie Felicity.


 I stumble to my desk and slump down hard and deep into my chair. All I want is to fit in and have the perfect life, like Felicity. 


The day goes by like a blur, like my new glasses aren't on just right. I am blindly thinking Fuzzy thoughts that burns me from my inside out. I wanna change my life, Move in Felicity’s perfect life to have my own bathroom and bestie in your life.


 Kayla’s just outright annoying and she knows that. 


Ryan closes in on my perfect pity party and makes it a lot worse. 


“Hey? I didn’t think Nerds with a dumb life could be in this class,” Ryan says, entertaining everyone. As normal everyone, but Felicity laughed. Even the teacher couldn’t resist laughing at that unnerving joke. How much does the teacher dislike me?


 I slide down in my chair, trying to pretend like I’m a weed dying. “Oh I thought so, your as dumb as a door-nail. You couldn’t even get your best friend to hangout with you Hahaha!” my breathing became rapid and bitter. I can feel all my negative emotions threatening to burst. 


Ryan was right. Last year Felicity wanted to be more popular. She told me to get out of her way so she can make friends. 


I feel tears coming on, but I hold them in. Ryan was told by the meanest teacher of all time (A.K.A Mr. Stewart) to take a seat and basically, Zip it. 


I think about how much Felicity and her family were that maybe if I beg enough that I could join in their family. I know for sure it would make me a lot more popular. If I join their family, like I know I will be able to get contacts! 


Felicity will be so happy about my idea, of course! She's been my best friend all the way since 3rd grade! Well...maybe not last year, but she is back to normal now. 


“I have amazing news!!” I squeal to Felicity. On our break of course there's no other time but now. I’ve been dreaming of this for AGES!! “I have the best idea ever, but you need to approve!” I say so excited so I do NOT have to share a bathroom with Kayla. “I wanna join your family!! I’ve been thinking of this for so long, like every morning I get up too soon and lose the bathroom! I am so excited to have you be my NEW sister!!!” I say a little woozy and out of breath. She looks at me like I’m crazy and then frowns.


“Prayiah, you can’t join my family. That’s just crazy talk. You heard Ryan, how could you even trust me not to do that again?” Felicity said, making me feel a little hot headed. I don’t even care what Ryan says. I give out the saddest most WHY? Face ever.


 “NO you're not joining my family. you have a family, and your real sister Kayla.” Felicity is trying to fight me because I wanna join her family!!?? I’ve been begging for the day that I could join her family. You could call it earning her trust for it, or you can call it buttering her up so I can have the greatest thing happen to me that could affect her quite harshly. 


“Why do I bother to try to convince you? You’re acting like the world should surround you, just like last year. I can’t believe that I thought that you could be my friend, AGAIN!!” Felicity snapped then walked away. 


I just stare at her as she gets close to...RYAN!!! She whispered some things to him and then the most disastrous thing happened! He hugged her!!! No way, did my mind play tricks on me or something? Did I actually see Ryan, the meanest, rudest, Jock in the world hug Felicity?


 She must be MAD or something. I just wanted to be in her family. My goal that has lasted everyday since 3rd grade was just crushed like a little bug, by my own bestie, who’s not my friend anymore.


 I should’ve just zipped it like the teacher said to Ryan.


 I know that I’m lame and look nerdy, but I shouldn't have wanted to take advantage of Felicity or her family. I needed Felicity to get through almost all the years and now I’m as lonely as a friendless person can be.


November 29, 2020 23:54

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20 comments

Wow...this is such a beautiful story Monica, you did a fantastic job!

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Monica D
00:14 Nov 30, 2020

Thanks. I was emailed by the co-founder to do the Authors note thing, hope you don't mind. Also do you have any feedback on it??

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Yellow Lemon
12:02 Dec 01, 2020

Had fun reading it! I can't submit to this week's prompts as I have a tight crunch (lol!) too! But you did a great job, and to say in the Indian style, it was a lot 'hatke' from the prompt! (That means it was out of the box) Heres's wishing you all the best!! Toodles :)

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This story was so emotional to me... I mean I can relate with Prayiah. I always wanted to be in my bestie's family. Veronica was always popular and I never got to get the bathroom in time because my brother, who primped for hours, always took it. I always felt alone. But I never did ask Veronica to be in her family. I guess some part of me knew it would be bad in the long run. It was my braces that everyone laughed at. I mean they made fun every day. Reading this story took me back to my junior high and high school years. That was so l...

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Monica D
22:22 Feb 11, 2021

Thanks. I'm sorry you had to deal with something in your life like that.

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It's ok... It helped make me who. am today... We are a sum of our experiences and how we handle them. I believe we are given those experiences to help others in the same situations as well as to learn humility and humbleness. This is one reason I write. Our experiences don't define us though, how we handle them in the long run does. Our mistakes, our successes, our worries and stresses, all come together to make the people we are meant to be. Sometimes we get lost along the way, and sometimes we just want to make it a different life, but ...

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Monica D
23:37 Feb 11, 2021

I fill mine with drama and emotions. I know it's not prime, but it's what I live off. It seems to make the world more realistic. The world isn't only filled with kindness and hope, I'm glad you fill your cup that way, but most people choose to empty their cups like it couldn't get any worse, and then it does. I like your explanation on this whole glass thing, and I think it could be a good idea for another story you could write.

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Omg.. Thankyou... I do too... I just haven't had the right inspiration here yet.. And we fill ours with what makes the world work for us. I'm glad that it works for you. It does me too, I just like to put out hope and kindness... Like you tho, I live off of drama and emotions... So that being said, that's why I fill it the way I do... I think I will run with that and totally start looking harder for that one thing that inspires a story like that... Thankyou so much!!!/

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Monica D
23:59 Feb 11, 2021

No problem! we each have our differences and similarities, and that's what makes us connected. we each have struggles, hope, kindness. And we learn from our experiences.

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Kate Reynolds
22:18 Jan 05, 2021

Hello Monica! This story was great!!!!!!!! There is a few things that I've noticed though: "I am in bed staring at the ceiling, restless and exhausted." Instead of saying this, maybe you could show it more? Like "I groaned, glancing at my alarm clock. It was 4 am, way too early to be awake." Also maybe include some inner dialogue, so the readers can see what the main character is actually thinking. Other than that wonderful job! :D

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Monica D
00:49 Jan 06, 2021

okay thanks for your feedback, I'll be sure to fix some of those mistakes next time.

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Kate Reynolds
01:47 Jan 06, 2021

Np!

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21:20 Jan 02, 2021

hiii! nice story, great job at showing the emotions :) critique would be that a few times you forgot to put commas in, like here: "I stumble to my desk and slump down hard and deep into my chair." A comma would have been placed between desk and slump, so you wouldn't have to write another 'and'. Great job! 😊 - Amethyst

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Nainika Gupta
14:51 Dec 17, 2020

I loved the detail that you carefully wrought into your story!! Amazing job :)

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Merel Cooijmans
12:44 Dec 17, 2020

This is really great :) I enjoyed reading it. Unfortunately, you can read that it was written in a rush. Some things and actions don't line up exactly. But by reading it I can see you have an amazing brain. I really liked that the main character had her own way of speaking. Just a tip, if I write about someone in a hurry. I like to make even shorter sentences. That way the reading feels more rushed. Loved it anyways :)

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Monica D
21:32 Dec 18, 2020

Thanks for your feedback! glad you liked it

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Awesome story Monica. Loved the details!

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Monica D
01:58 Nov 30, 2020

thanks, glad you liked it. do you have any feedback?

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I do love the way you portrayed the relationships of the sisters in the beginning and also how her best friend dumped her in the end.

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