A Friend in need

 Exactly three years ago Natalie had sworn that she would not speak another word to Samantha for as long as she lived. She had regretted her oath that night almost as soon as she had made it, but some things are impossible to take back no matter how much you might want to. Time had faded the regret and the pain of a friendship lost somewhat, but she would never forget that night and the horrible argument that had torn her world apart. It seemed the cruellest irony that today of all days, on the anniversary of that awful night, the universe had decided to tear her world apart once again.

Natalie had never been close to her family. Her friends had always stood in the places where family should have,and nobody more than Samantha. She had supported Natalie through break-ups, breakdowns, her family disowning her, couched her through study sessions ensuring she graduated from school and then university. She was the one person that Natalie had trusted in the world to be on her side. That night she had felt like she wasn’t, and she hadn’t been able to bear it.

She still remembered every digit in Samantha’s phone number even though she hadn’t used it in all those years. She felt a lump forming in her throat as she dialled, praying that her friend hadn’t changed her number in that time, praying that she would pick up.

“Natalie?”

She took a very deep breath before answering.

“It’s me. I’m sorry to call so late… I didn’t know if you’d answer.”

“It’s been a while.”

“I wanted to call you, so many times… so many. i’m sorry I didn’t. I’m sorry about so many things. That night -”

“Don’t Nat, I don’t want to hear it.” Samantha interrupted her. She could hear the edge in her voice, razor sharp anger undiminished by time.

“I know, I’m sorry. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, I don’t deserve anything at all. I just needed to say it, I needed you to know how sorry I am and how sorry I have been. It doesn’t change a thing, I know. I just… I needed you to know.”

Samantha didn’t say anything, but she had listened. Or at least she had heard it.

“Nat… where are you right now?”

Natalie looked past her feet to the dark water below her.

“At home,” she lied “I’m sorry Sam.”

“Whatever you’re thinking Nat… just don’t. Where are you?”

“I’m not anywhere Sam”

“Oh bullshit, Natalie Allen does not apologise to anyone. I might not like you Nat but I still know you. We were best friends once upon a time after all. Tell me where you are, now.”

“The bridge.”

“THE bridge? You’re back home?”

“Just got here.”

“I’ll be there in half an hour, don’t move a single inch Nat.”

The line went dead and natalie let the phone drop from her hand. It tumbled in the darkness and hit the water below with a splash before disappearing forever. The world was silent now. Nobody else was up this late at night and if they were none of them were stupid enough to be out in this part of town.

Natalie leaned back a little and gazed up at the night sky with its sprinkling of stars blinking down at her cold and unmoved by her despair. She sat dangling her feet over the edge and waited. Samantha was the only person in the world that she had ever let tell her what to do back when they were growing up in this backwards town. Everyone always said she had a personality problem, but Samantha had never treated her like a problem. So she waited, she owed her that much at least.

She heard a car approach, and then footsteps as someone walked towards her. She hoped it was Samantha but also hoped that it wasn’t and that some stranger would take away this choice for her. Maybe then people would find something good to say about her.

“Natalie” Samantha’s voice whispered from the dark night behind her. She felt her get closer and then haul herself up onto the wall beside her. “What happened?”

“I was so wrong about him Sam. So wrong. I didn’t know, he said it was you back then. I’m so sorry. I should have trusted you, I should have known that of all the people… that you would never.” sobs wracked her body and she felt Samantha’s arms wrap around her holding her tight and safe there on the edge of the world.

“Paul? What did he do?”

“I trusted him.” she choked out between sobs, “I believed that he loved me. He didn’t, I don’t know if he ever did… it was all lies Sam.”

They sat together like that for a long time, until Natalie’s body stilled and quietened.

“I was more upset that you wouldn’t see the truth about him than that you didn’t believe me. Even at the start he didn’t treat you right, but you couldn’t see it.”

“I’m sorry Sam.”

“I know you are Natalie, but orry doesn’t erase the things you said to me that night. I guess you know that though, don’t you.”

“Why did you come then? Why not just hang up and leave it there?”

“Three years of us not talking doesn’t undo the fifteen years where we were best friends. You’ll always be my family Nat.”

“I don’t have a family.”

“You still have the same ‘Natalie against the world’ attitude, I guess some things never change.”

“It’s the world that’s got it out for me… I can’t keep fighting it.”

“Then stop picking fights with everyone who dares cross your path. Come on, it’s cold out. Let’s go back to my place.”

“I can’t go back. I can’t… my life is done, it’s a mess. I can’t put it back together again after this.”

“Well don’t then. Start a new one. Come on Nat, don’t be an idiot. Come home with me”

Samantha turned and dropped back onto the road behind them. She stood there, reaching her hand out towards Natalie. It was hard to read her expression.

“Come on. Don’t let that bastard win. Show him you’re better than that, stronger than that. You’re not alone in this Nat, I’m here.”

Natalie took one last look at the water below her and turned to face Samantha. She wished she had been a better person, a stronger person. She wished she could have seen through the lies all those years ago, but she saw the truth now. She slid off the wall and took hold of Samantha’s hand and let her lead her home.