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Fiction

This story contains sensitive content

TW: Sensitive Content, death

     “It wasn’t supposed to be this way…” Becky whispered as she stood next to Connor’s hospital bed. Connor’s heart monitor beeped in rhythm, as Becky looked at his pale face. Nurses bustled around busily outside the door, and Connor’s parents sat in the room with their heads in their hands.

    “Why did this happen?” Kathleen asked the air. Dan put his arm around his wife, offering his presence, not answers. 

    “The doctor thinks he’s going to be ok, do you think he will be ok Dan?” Kathleen desperately searched her husband’s face for reassurance.     Tears streaked her makeup-less face, her eyes told a tale of sleepless nights. 

     “Yes, I think he’s going to come out of this and be ok. Becky…” 

     Becky glanced over, Dan hung his head. 

***

     Becky had met Connor in Science class. She was new to the school, having moved from a small town in Illinois to New York. Things were so different. Life was so different. But meeting Connor had made everything right for her. 

     “Need a seat?” he had asked that first day. 

     “Actually, yes. Thank you,” she nervously replied, and sat next to him at the lab table for two. 

Connor was friendly, popular, and the most attractive boy Becky had ever laid her blue eyes on. They hit it off immediately, and pretty soon became inseparable. By Halloween, they had formed a bond Becky had never felt before. 

     “Are you sure about this?” Becky had asked him, as they sat together on Mark Hufford’s basement couch. His annual Halloween party was in full swing, with music blasting and all their friends showing off their costumes. Too old for trick-or-treating, this was the best way to spend Halloween. 

     Becky and Connor had dressed as Romeo and Juliet. Cliché? Yes, but they both felt it was most fitting for them, and were excited to make their appearance as the famed lovers. 

     “Definitely.” Connor replied, with a kiss to her forehead. 

     “You guys ready?” Mark asked in a creepy, whispered voice. 

     “Let’s go,” Connor replied and hopped off the couch, pulling his Juliet with him. 

     Connor had explained to Becky that every year, his friends go to Mark’s party then at midnight, sneak over to the abandoned brick school building at the end of his street. 

     “Legend has it, on Halloween, the ghosts of all the kids who went there roam the halls. That school is so haunted. I swear I’ve seen kids in the windows before, staring out with blank looks on their faces. Kinda like Greg in Algebra!” he’d said, and started laughing. 

     “Do you really believe in ghosts?” Becky pressed. 

     “Course I do! And after we go there on Halloween to write our names on the chalkboard, you will too.”

     “I don’t know if I buy it. Guess I’ll find out soon enough!” 

     The group made their way to the abandoned school. The moon lit their way, and the crumbling brick building appeared in the night, looming with a menacing air before them. 

     “So, you guys never dared to go all the way to the second floor classroom and write your names there?” Becky asked, wanting to verify Connor’s story. 

     “Nah, always get too freaked out and turn heel. But this year will be different. Right guys?” Mark said. 

     “Exactly. This year will be very different!” Connor laughed. 

     “Ladies first, Becky. Let’s do this thing.” Connor said, and took her shaky hand in his. 

     The rusted lock on the front door hadn’t kept anyone out for years. But nobody really cared, or bothered to replace it. Everyone knew the building was spooked, and few dared to go in it. 

     “Where’s the key?” Mark whispered to Connor when Becky had stepped inside. 

     “My pocket. It’s all set.” 

     The two exchanged a knowing look, and continued inside. 

     “Did you bring a flashlight or anything?” Becky asked, feeling her way through the hallway. 

     “Nope. Only moonlight to guide us. It’s part of the rules.” Greg answered. 

     “The stairway is right in front of you now Becky. Let’s go up.” Connor instructed. 

     Once upstairs, the moonlight through the windows clearly illuminated a classroom on the right. 

     “That’s it over there,” Mark said, pointing to the doorway. 

     Becky heard a muffled sound…laughter? Coming from behind her. 

     She went into the classroom, and tried to see around her. Old wooden desks, chairs, a large teacher’s desk in the corner all covered in dust and cobwebs. She looked to the front of the room, as a child would have so many years ago. She saw writing on the blackboard in white chalk. Moving closer to make it out, she saw scrawled “Mark Connor Greg”. No sooner had she read the names than she heard the slam of a door, and turn of a key. 

Laughing wildly from behind the door, Connor yelled, “Now we’ll see if you believe in ghosts after you spend the night in there!” 

     Mark and Greg ran down the hall, and out the front door as fast as they could, as they had planned.  

     Making sure the door wouldn’t open, Connor turned the knob and put the key back in his pocket. 

     “All it will take to get out is a quick call to your parents. Check your pocket, Connor. I have your phone,” Becky calmly said from behind the door. 

     “How the hell did you get my phone?” Connor screamed, looking for the key again in his pocket. 

     “I took it as we walked up the stairs.” 

     Connor opened the door, and went inside the classroom to see Becky sitting on top of a desk. 

     “Alright, joke’s over. I’ll take my phone back now. Come on.” 

     “Not so fast. Aren’t you curious why I would think to take your phone?”

     “Actually, yeah. You wanted the flashlight?” 

     “I wanted to bait you back in here.” 

     “Bait me? What are you talking about?” 

     “You underestimate me. All this time, did you really think I wouldn’t question why the most popular guy in school would be with the overly average new girl in town? It didn’t take a genius to figure out your password on your phone. Your football number and birthday. I’ve been reading your messages this whole time. Just waiting. Planning. You never cared about me. You were going to break it off right after Halloween, after you guys pulled your prank and locked me in overnight.”

     Becky made her way to the window, and opened it. Below, a large collection of broken cinder blocks, pieces of desks, and other debris made for a rough landing for Connor’s phone. 

     “Becky, no, you don’t understand. It was just a joke. All of it. Dating you, the haunted school…we were just going to have a laugh. You get it, right? No hard feelings?” Connor pleaded. 

     “No hard feelings? Are you serious? You made me believe we were in love. You talked about going to the same college, a future together!” 

     “Listen, just give me my phone, and we can go back to Mark’s and talk it all over. Just get your arm back inside the window.”

     “Oh, are you worried I’ll accidentally drop it? Well, accidents happen you know…”

     Connor was done negotiating. He sprang forward and grabbed Becky’s arm. The two struggled in the window, before the wooden frame gave way cracking in all directions. The pair tumbled down, into the heap of debris below. 

***

     Becky watched as Connor slowly opened his eyes, then squeezed them shut again to block out the bright light above his bed. 

     She ran her nails down the length of his arm, drawing thin lines of blood. 

     If he made it out alive and she didn’t, she planned to make him live to regret manipulating her the way he did. 

     She tugged his IV line, and a series of beeps alerted the nurses who came rushing in. 

     “He’s pulled out his IV, he’s awake!” they excitedly told his parents. 

     Leaping to their feet, Dan and Kathleen rushed over. 

     “Connnor! You’re ok!” Kathleen said as she took his hand. 

     Becky knew he’d never really be ok. Hell hath no fury, and her haunting would know no bounds. 

     Connor opened his eyes, and a chill coursed throughout his whole body. He sensed something, or someone, near him. He could feel a sort of negative energy by his side. He couldn’t quite be sure, he was so very groggy, but he thought he heard a soft whisper. It sounded like…no, it couldn’t be. He heard it again. “Actions have consequences, Romeo…” 

     Connor jerked and looked wildly around the room. 

     “Easy, easy. I’ll get him something to relax him. All of a sudden his heart rate skyrocketed and he looks like he’s seen a ghost,” the nurse said. 

     Connor gripped the side of the bed. Becky stood back and smiled. 

October 28, 2023 03:33

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14 comments

Carina Caccia
13:02 Nov 02, 2023

Hi Nina, Great subversion of expectations! I would love to read more about this pair of star-cross'd lovers!

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Shirley Medhurst
00:32 Oct 31, 2023

Oooh, what a brilliant and unexpected twist. I did not expect this at all. Great work!

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Nina H
23:09 Nov 03, 2023

Thank you, Shirley!!

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Vid Weeks
20:27 Oct 30, 2023

Great opening. I got the feeling Becky had only just begun. Could definitely be a longer story.

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Nina H
21:21 Oct 30, 2023

I was thinking the same thing, actually! Continuing her haunting. But I submitted it at the midnight hour narrowly avoiding the cutoff sooooo…. 😂 Thanks for reading and the feedback, Vid!

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Karen Corr
11:22 Oct 30, 2023

Good one, Nina! I never saw it coming ! (:

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Nina H
13:11 Oct 30, 2023

Neither did Connor! 😱😝 Thanks for reading, Karen!!

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Michał Przywara
01:51 Oct 30, 2023

Oh, nice twist! What starts as a teen love story takes a dark turn, with a death, and a haunting. It starts off as Romeo and Juliet - and that's still appropriate since it didn't exactly have a happy ending - but it ends with a promise of unholy vengeance. Connor's life doesn't sound like it will be enviable going forward, as we've shifted from romance to full horror. Thanks for sharing!

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Nina H
13:14 Oct 30, 2023

I’m now imagining a horror Romeo and Juliet, where they haunt the Montagues and Capulets! 👻 Thanks for reading, Michał!

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Chris Miller
23:22 Oct 29, 2023

This would make a great teen movie screen play. A good Halloween story with a great twist. Good work, Nina.

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Nina H
23:49 Oct 29, 2023

Thanks chris! 🎃😄

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AnneMarie Miles
14:47 Oct 28, 2023

This is fantastic, Nina! Wow! I did not think Becky was a ghost. Your structuring of this story really set up the surprise nicely. You gave us exactly enough information, just what we needed to know. I loved how you used dialogue reveal vital information, and you cut out any frivolous bits that the story didn't need. Expertly executed. And a unique tale, too. You chopped up the jock-falls-for-new-girl trope very nicely. And then chopped it up again with the jock surviving over the girl. The very first image I liked in this came from this ph...

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Nina H
19:29 Oct 28, 2023

Thanks AnneMarie! I had three different beginnings to this story, and then erased two of them when I decided which to use 😂 Maybe my “precise” language is because I wait til the last minute to write then it all just cascades out in a race to the finish (deadline)! Thanks for reading and the kind words!! 🤗

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AnneMarie Miles
23:48 Oct 28, 2023

I think the beginning you settled on is perfect. It really works well to set up the fact that something bad happens to Connor, so much when we get to the middle, we're reading in suspense! But it's also good to have the options! Sometimes I'll write something and then go back and jumble up the paragraphs to see how they work in different orders. It's actually a great technique when writing poetry and it works really well for prose, too. Lol, I understand the rush all too well! A lot of my parred back styles are a result of pure laziness 😂

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