Submitted to: Contest #297

11:33

Written in response to: "Write a story that includes the line “What time is it?”"

Sad Suspense

This story contains themes or mentions of physical violence, gore, or abuse.

I have 24 hours, exactly 24 hours until she’s killed. The ransom note asking for $100,000 sits on my kitchen counter staring at me as a bead of sweat drips down my forehead. I reach for my phone and begin to dial 911 but before I hit call, I stop. The note said don’t call the police, whoever “J.R.” is, he’s listening, that’s what the note says. I turn my wrist towards me to look at my watch, 11:34, I have exactly 23 hours and 59 minutes left to save my sister.

When I was only 10, my parents left the house and never returned. They left me with exactly $113 and an old phone in case of emergencies. After not showing up to school for a month, CPS paid a visit. I was put in a foster home with a very nice family, the Ponteros, who had a newborn daughter named Rayne and a 15 year old son named Klaus. 9 years later, my foster parents passed away in a tragic accident, leaving me and Rayne alone with Klaus off at college. I’ve never had an issue with caring for Rayne, I adore her with all of my heart but sometimes I wonder what would have happened if my biological parents had never abandoned me. Another thought that crosses my mind quite often is, where are my parents? Sometimes I wonder if they died too like my foster parents, or maybe they are out living their best life somewhere down South.

I run around the house checking every possible hiding place where Rayne could be, maybe this whole thing is some sick joke someone put together in an attempt to scare me. After no luck finding her anywhere in the house I run outside. I feel the cold misty rain hit my skin as an intense breeze slaps my face making it almost impossible to breathe. I look up to find dark heavy clouds sitting in the sky, they are sure to open up any second now. I grab my phone out of my back pocket, which is already wet due to the mist, and call Klaus who moved to the next town over after graduating. He picks up the phone almost immediately after it starts ringing, “Hey Issa, is everything alright?” A single tear rolls down my cheek as the realization of what I’m about to say sits in. “Rayne’s gone, a note was left in the kitchen, someone took her,” I struggle to speak clearly between the wind and my tears which have now soaked both my cheeks. Klaus stays silent listening to my sobs for about a minute until he finally speaks, “I’ll be there as soon as I can Issa. Have you called the police?” “No Klaus, he’s listening,” I continue to explain the ransom note to him and by the end of our call he’s already on his way. I walk over to the cold black bench in the corner of the porch. What time is it? As I sit down, I check my phone quickly, 11:49, 23 hours and 44 minutes left.

Klaus arrives in his loud white Ford F-150 truck that I’ve never cared for. As soon as he parks he opens the door and sprints over to me. We hug for a moment and then another man I recognize gets out of the passenger seat. “Issa, this is Levi, I’m sure you remember him. I was with him when you called and he said he could help.” Levi Hayes, Klaus’s childhood friend who I had a crush on for years when I started staying with the Ponteros but I haven’t seen him since Klaus moved out so it's been 8 years. We do still follow each other on social media and he occasionally likes my posts but it's been forever since we've actually spoken. Levi still has the same dark brown hair and the same beautiful blue eyes I always swore I was in love with when I was 12. He walks over to me and as he reaches out for a hug I notice the small lightning bolt stick and poke tattoo on his wrist I watched him give himself 10 years ago. This tattoo is now nothing compared to the whole sleeve he has on the same arm but the lightning bolt sure does bring back memories. I was never much of a hugger growing up but something about hugging Levi brings me some comfort, contrasting the situation occurring.

The 3 of us stand inside staring at the ransom note, unsure of what to do now. Tears still stream down my face as I watch the reality sit in for Klaus and Levi. I watch fear overtake them both as Klaus looks at me, his tears forming a puddle in his eyes. He looks over at Levi, waiting for him to say something. Finally Levi talks, “We need to go find Rayne. The police will help Issa.” Not what I wanted to hear. “No, they won’t help, they can’t,” I respond. “Issa come on, we wouldn’t even know where to look,” Klaus chimes in. I look over the ransom note, rereading it once more…

Dear Issa Rivera,

I’m sure by this time, you’ve realized your precious Rayne is missing from her bed this morning. You are probably scared thinking maybe she is dead. Well don’t worry Issa, she’s not like your foster parents who just died so suddenly, leaving you to take care of their own child. Rayne is safe here with me, she was actually happy to come for a drive with me, I told her we were getting ice cream after explaining our situation. I saw you yesterday Issa, buying groceries for your little household of 2. You didn’t even recognize me, after all of the love and care I provided for you, you didn’t even recognize me. I saved you years ago and you didn’t even thank me so now due to your disgusting ignorance, your “little sister” will die if you don’t save her. In order to save her you must leave $100,000 in the old abandoned parking lot at the old coffee shop on Maple Street in exactly 24 hours. I have a camera hidden somewhere in your house so I’ll know when to start the clock and I’ll also know if you call the police so don’t even try it. If you do call the police, Rayne will die. I’ll see you within 24 hours, Issa.

-- J.R.”

I run upstairs to grab a duffel bag while Levi and Klaus both follow me curiously. I figure I might as well go to the parking lot and try to save Rayne. After a little bit of convincing, Levi and Klaus finally help me make the bag look like it's full of cash and we are on our way to the parking lot. We pull in and there is one black truck sitting in the parking lot. I try to park close enough to see inside the windows but they are too tinted to tell if Rayne is inside. Klaus, Levi, and I all step outside of my car and walk closer to the truck. Klaus tells us to stay put as he walks closer to the truck with the duffel bag we filled up with random things. I don’t even know what good this fake bag will do because this “J.R.” guy is sure to look in the bag before he hands over Rayne. After what seems to be hours of waiting, a tall man steps out of the black truck. He has a long scruffy beard that's a mix of a grey and brown color, he's extremely skinny and pale, and his whole body seems to be shaking as he walks closer. His face seems familiar, something about his eyes but I just can't place it. I think maybe it's just from the grocery store encounter that he explained in the note. I watch him walk towards Klaus and I assume he is going to take the bag but instead he just keeps walking past him while staring directly at me. Once Klaus realizes this he turns and grabs the man by the shoulder, “Where's Rayne?” Instead of responding the man pushes Klaus off of him and gets so close to me that my face is just inches away from him. “Issa,” he looks almost as scared as I am and now that he is this close I see the dirt all over his face which looks like it's been there for weeks. I attempt to step back to get away from him but he grabs both of my hands before I get the chance. “Issa it's me,” his voice shakes as he speaks but then the realization hits me, it's my father.

It all makes sense now, “J.R.” is Justin Rivera. I step back as my eyes begin to fill up with tears for like the 30th time today. Klaus and Levi both try to get him to let go of my hands but I don’t let them. “Dad?” I say and even though I don’t break eye contact, I can sense the confusion both Levi and Klaus are feeling. “I’m saving you Issa,” he says, but it doesn’t make any sense, how is he saving me? “I don’t understand, where's Rayne?” I try to sound confident but I can’t stop crying. “Issa, I’m saving you,” he’s serious, I can tell by the tone of his voice, he truly thinks he's helping me. I turn around to look for Levi but he’s gone, I think he went back to the car, I’m not sure why though. “If you are saving me, why do you need money and why did you take Issa?” He looks extremely confused. “I never asked you for money?” “Yes you did Justin, you wrote it in the note,” I continue trying to sound more confident and certain with what I’m saying but it's still difficult. “No, I didn’t. I would remember if I had done that,” he sounds so angry, unlike my father used to be. “Whatever Justin, where is my sister?” “Issa, she’s gone. It’s just gonna be you and me now baby,” his words sound like sharp knives. “Gone?” “Yes, I got rid of her, for us sweetie. Don’t you get it? I’ve been trying to make a life for us this whole time.” “No, no, no. Justin, what do you mean?” “When you were 10, your mother told me I was crazy and that she was going to leave me. She was going to take you away from me, forever. I couldn’t let her do that so I left you with money and took Lauren away. I saved you from her Issa, she’s gone now too, just like Rayne.” “Why? What did she ever do to you? Rayne is my sister Justin, she never did anything wrong,” I finally break eye contact and find Klaus staring at us, tears running down his cheeks, red from the cold. “The Ponteros left you alone to care for their child. You never deserved that Issa, you were still a kid while taking care of a kid. When I got rid of your mom, the Ponteros were the ones who suspected I did something. They were the ones who called the cops on me, I was never supposed to go to prison Issa, it was never part of the plan. I was supposed to come back home two days later and you and I would run away together and I would give you the life I knew your mother wouldn’t let me provide for you. My buddy Doug helped bail me out so I could get you back, he helped me with everything. He helped me kidnap Rayne and write the note, I guess he must have added that money part in for himself. He also helped me get rid of Rayne, Doug has always been willing to help me, that's why I made sure he was your god father when you were born-,” but before he’s able to finish his story, I hear the sirens.

Levi must have called the police, that's why he was at the car earlier. I want to get away from my dad but I can’t seem to move so instead, I stand there staring at him. “Issa… did you call the police?” “No,” I want to ask him so many questions, I want to be angry at him but I can’t, I feel almost bad for him. Everything around me seems to be spinning as the cops run out and rip him away from me. I hear him yelling for me but I can’t make out exactly what he’s saying, it's all just a blur. I’m pulled away by someone and they sit me down, they are asking me questions but I’m too focused on what's happening behind one of the cops to understand. I watch several people run to Justin’s truck and take out Rayne. I get ready for her to hop up and run over to me, but instead she stays still, she’s gone, just like he said. I hear someone near the truck say, “1:43”. I never had 24 hours to save my sister, she was gone before I even left the house. I continue to sit there ignoring all of the questions I’m being asked and think about this one time when I was 9 years old. I remember hearing loud noises and screaming, so I hid in my room. The next day I saw mom with bruises all over her arms and a black eye. Mom was trying to save me from my father all along, but I failed to save her.

Posted Apr 12, 2025
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